USS Jane II (SP-1188) was a United States Navy patrol vessel in commission from 1917 to 1918.
Jane II was built as a private wooden motorboat of the same name in 1914 by A. Appel at Trenton, New Jersey. In August 1917, the U.S. Navy acquired her from her owner, George Gumphert of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, for use as a section patrol boat during World War I. She was commissioned soon thereafter as USS Jane II (SP-1188) with Coxswain A. Aspling, USNRF, in command.
Assigned to the 4th Naval District and based at Cape May, New Jersey, Jane II served as a patrol craft and dispatch boat through the end of World War I.
The Navy returned Jane II to Gumphert on 25 November 1918.
P - hello hello, may I speak to the e?
E - this is me... is this the doctor m.d.?
Yo p it's kinda early, who's there laverner and shirley?
Is it kate and allie, or some other girlie?
Well anyway, yo p you know I'm lazy
Callin me this time of hour you must be crazy
P - excuse me, but I'm sorry e double
It's a terrible situation and it might cause trouble
Throw on your coat jump in your benz and come over
E - why p?
P - yo, I think jane is on my sofa
E - what?
P - last night I was all alone
Cold watch the boob tube, because my fuse was blown
Picked up the bat phone, to drop a line to you
Maybe 10: 15, or maybe 10: 22
E - where was i?
P - I don't know, you wasn't there
Threw on the link rolex watch and fresh gear
I grabbed my key, along with the cash flow
Shifted out the door to the local disco
E - where'd you go, not to that ran down pub
P - hell no... I was coolin at a club
It was spanish night, so I was drinkin molta
Threw on a little tango, plus a little salsa
Seen a fly girl, standin next to me
So I slid over to her very non-chalantly
She was def, body perfectly fit
She was packin, a 300-e with the kit
I said, kitten, how ya doin miss?
I said, hello my name is parrish
E - hi, my name is cris
P - can I buy you a drink?
E - yes
P - what will it be?
E - a martini and rossi, asi spumante.
By the way is that your caadillac allante
Parked outside right next to my monte
Car? you can call it, my ex-husband bought it.
P - put my ego up here and said it's time to go for it
This place is a drag, grab your coat and bag.
We'll have drinks on the house, back at my pad.
We got to my house we walked through the door
Threw on night and day by
E - al. b sure
P - she grabbed me, gave me kiss on the lips
So I grabbed the cold booty and caressed the hips
I got ahead of myself, because I wanted to flirt
Took off the g-strings and the v-neck skirt
Put my eho up here
E - yeah it's time to do work
P - I felt the movement below so it's time to react
I went in my back utility belt anad pulled out a jim hat
I bust a move... when it came to that
But then she freaked it, and grabbed the bozack
Started dpom it, then she called me the master
E - you got bigger, better, stronger and much faster
P - at first I laughed, as if it was a joke
But then my heart skipped a beat, and I lost a stroke
I said to myself, oh no it couldn't be
The j to the a to the n to the e
E - yo p don't tell me it was jane you were douchin
With the anita baker head
P - nah more like whitney houston
E - while the record's still playing to al b. sure's effect mode
Stay tuned, to be continued on the next episode