Harry Spear

Big, Blonde And Beautiful

MOTORMOUTH
Once upon a time
Girl i was just like you
Never let my extra large
Largesse shine through
Hair was brown and nappy
Never had no fun
I hid under a bushel
Which is easier said than done!
Then one day my grandma
Who was big and stout
She said you gotta love yourself
From inside out
And just as soon as i learned
How to strut my funky stuff
I found out that the world at large
Cant get enough so...
Bring on that pecan pie
Pour some sugar on it
Sugar don't be shy
Scoop me up a mess
Of that chocolate swirl
Don't be stingy,
I'm a growing girl
1 offer big love
With no apology
How can i deny the world
The most of me
I am not afraid
To throw my weight around
Pound by pound by pound
Because i'm
Big, blonde and beautiful
There is nothin' 'bout me
That's unsuitable
No one wants a meal
That only offers the least
When girl we're servin' up
The whole damn feast
Slice off a piece
Of that hog head cheese
Then take a look inside
My book of recipes
Now, don't you sniff around
For something fluffy and light
I need a man who brings
A man-size... Appetite
I'll use a pinch of sugar
And a dash of spice
I'll let ya lick the spoon
Because it tastes so nice
I'll keep it in my oven
'Til it's good and hot
Keep on stirring til it hits the spot
Because i'm...
Big, blonde and beautiful
And Edna girl, you're lookin' so
Recruitable
Why sit in the bleachers
Timid and afraid
When Edna,
You can be your own parade!
TRACY
So? How 'bout it, Mama?
EDNA
Well, I am big, I am blonde... ish, and if you say
I'm beautiful, I guess I'm beautiful. OK, I'll do it!
Yeaaa!
Look out old Baltimore
We're marching in
'And we ain't shufflin'
Through that old back door
EDNA
And Tracy, i will join the fight
If i can keep up this pace
WILBUR
And girls, i'll be right at your side
If i can find some space
MOTORMOUTH
So you can
Hold your head up
Just as big as ya please
You know they'll hear me knockin'
With the two of these!
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
Tomorrow, side by side
We'll show the world what's right
EDNA
Looks like i'm touchin' up my roots tonight!
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
Then we'll be
Big, blonde and beautiful
It's time to face the fact
It's irrefutable
Can't ya hear that rumbling?
That's our hunger to be free
It's time to fin'ly taste
Equality
COUNCIL MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS
On mother/daughter day
Where thin is in,
We're white as wool
MOTORMOUTH
Well ladies, big is back!
And as for black, it's...
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
...Beautiful!!
MOTORMOUTH
All shapes and sizes, follow me
EDNA
Let's bust their chops!
VELMA
Quick, cali the cops!
MOTORMOUTH & PROTESTERS
We're gonna dance our way to victory!
And get us on TV!
PROTESTERS
2...4...6...8...TV'S got to integrate!
COUNCIL MEMBERS
Stay away! This isn't Negro Day!
(Police sirens wail. Whistles blow. As the protesters continue their march, they are loaded into the addy wagon.)
MOTORMOUTH
You bet i'm big!
EDNA (pulling on Velmas hair)
This blond is gray!
LINK
Tracy, this was beautiful!
MOTORMOUTH
Big, blonde, and beautiful leads the way!
ENSEMBLE