Fred A. Busse

Frat Boys

Frat boys
Frat boys
Now we may be inebriated, and somewhat dumb
But I'll tell you one thing, we can surely come
To the party, and wreck the house
Won't go home at all, unless they throw us out
So pass some more booze so I can blow chunks
Listen to the cool sounds that we make when we're drunk, ha haa!!
I-Eta-Pi, Kegga Bru
Sigma-Epsilon-Chi, which one is for you
And once you pledge your life is mine
You'll be a brother till the end of time
And at the end of the world when the countries start nukin'
Even if it's a fluke, I'll be in the back pukin' in the toilet
Taste just as good comin' back
Don't let it go to waste we're recycling that, tell 'em now
Now I've been a brother since seventy-nine
And I'm still in school now even though I'm forty-nine
It's not a problem 'cause I'm havin' fun
And I plan to graduate in two thousand twenty one
But it ain't no thing 'cause I'm always tan
And guaranteed to flunk every final exam
Like M and M's candy will melt in your beer
To sleep with every girl on campus is why I'm here
Now this Friday might be funky, and maybe even gory
But I know this for sure it will not be boring
'Cause we're gonna get five hundred kegs
And by the time the party's through I won't feel my legs
My friends are gonna bring rum to the party
Some Peach Tree Schnaaps, and gallons of Bacardy
Funnels on the side, Jello shots in the cup
And then I'll start all over after throwin' it up
[chorus]
Frat boys
You know they drink till dawn
Frat boys
They're puking on my lawn
Frat boys
You know they drink till dawn
Frat boys
They're puking on my lawn
Now life in the frat house is so much fun
It's just like Congress nothing ever gets done
You see we get the girls every night
But I wouldn't use the toilet if you value your life
But the house is sturdy, the fridge is full
We got beer made from here, Buffalo, and Nepal
We're just one big family, a happy crew
And all the roaches in the kitchen are brothers too
Just do the right thing and we'll accept you
Unless you're a black man, Hispanic, or Jew
All you need is to pay your membership fees
We want caaaaash, please no personal checks
It's only twelve-hundred dollars every month now
I got a raaaaash, that's your own damn fault
Get off your lazy butt and go down to the vault
We got lemon and tequila but we're out of salt
So if you're here to pledge better be prepared
The prophilactics are here and the sheep are there
We'll see if you're a man or mouse
You gotta prove you're a man to get in the frat house
To all the lady's in the place I'm ready to go
So if you wanna have fun just let me know
Twelve at one time, or maybe more
Powered by alcohol, I never get sore
A Budweiser man, a tower full of power
Urinated five times in the last half hour
It's five past eight, and I'm not drunk yet
I'm behind schedule but I needn't fret
'Cause I drink and I drink while I sing the beer psalm
Never gonna stop until I'm totally bombed
I gag and I belch and I throw up too
One toilet ain't enough, you're gonna need two
To hold me, and all the stuff, that I throw up
When my stomach erupts, get ready here it comes
Better watch where it runs..
The only one in the world who understands, toilet bowl
(chorus)
Now I'm the one in the frat house in charge of supplies
We're a beer drinkin', class skippin' couple o' guys
The house is so dirty that my teeth are brown
And I'm the man with the biggest beer gut in town
But I do plan to get out of here one day
And on my diploma it will proudly say
Never went to class, and he barely passed
Was the third from the bottom in the graduating class
Forget that, that can wait, bring the beer over here
'Cause I wanna have fun and what's one more year
'Cause education ain't nothing compared to bein' cool
I may be a grandfather by the time I'm out of school
'Cause I'm proud to be in a fraternity
And when we have a party it's the place to be
We're frats we're frats we're obnoxious little brats
And we're here for years 'cause our parents paid for that
(chorus)