Engagement

An engagement, betrothal, or fiancer is a promise to wed, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be betrothed, "intended", affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. Future brides and grooms may be called the betrothed, a wife-to-be or husband-to-be, fiancée or fiancé, respectively (from the French word fiancer). The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.

Long engagements were once common in formal arranged marriages, and it was not uncommon for parents betrothing children to arrange marriages many years before the engaged couple were old enough.

Origin

The origins of European engagement in marriage practice is found in the Jewish law (Torah), first exemplified by Abraham, and outlined in the last Talmudic tractate of the Nashim (Women) order, where marriage consists of two separate acts, called erusin (or kiddushin, meaning sanctification), which is the betrothal ceremony, and nissu'in or chupah, the actual ceremony for the marriage. Erusin changes the couple's interpersonal status, while nissu'in brings about the legal consequences of the change of status. (However, in the Talmud and other sources of Jewish law there is also a process, called kiddushin, corresponding to what today is called engagement. Marrying without such an agreement is considered immoral. To complicate matters, erusin in modern Hebrew means engagement, not betrothal.)