Oy. This political marathon has taken dumbass dibs on everything except a candidate’s deodorant. Now comes Suzanne White’s astrological assessment:
Biden. Nov. 20 (1942). The Scorpio/horse sign indicates he “adores his family … works overtime to protect and care for them.” Yeah, right.
Bernie: Sept. 8. Virgo/snake. And “not really of this world … in bed with this soul,” he uses “a variety of intricate techniques.” Ohh, lucky Mrs. Sanders.
Warren: June 22. Cancer/ox. “Acute unparalleled single-mindedness … formidable powers of tenacity and innovation.” The assessment overlooks her wardrobe.
Buttigieg: Jan. 19. Capricorn/rooster. “Worries how others see him. Heroic efforts to please.” The husband he found on the Internet, take note.
Beto: Sept. 26. Libra/Rat. “Self-destructively ambitious. Wants to break the bank, write a best seller, be president.” Better he should write a best seller.
Kamala: Oct. 20. Libra/dragon. “Manipulator, tempestuous, suspicious, stormy. Dragons seek to be seen and heard. Needs applause.” Lotsa luck.
Klobuchar: May 25. Gemini/rat. “No end of tales to tell. Flits amiably around … impenetrable haze of ego … Catch me if you can.” We won’t.
Cory Booker: April 27. Taurus/rooster (though most associate the sign with bull). “Tendency to dominate … self possessed, blind faith … however not usually political leaders.”
To know more about Andrew Yang, Tulsi Gabbard, Julián Castro or those other front-runners, Suzanne’s astrology comes from Chinese and Western zodiacs.
New role in the pokey
Oscar nominee Alfre Woodard’s going heavy. Playing a warden in film “Clemency,” which comes out Dec. 27.
On her watch, a botched execution happens. So did she first see other tough jail films? Like “The Shawshank Redemption”?
Alfre: “No. I don’t like to compare. I don’t watch other performances to inform my own. I want to do something original. That’s the challenge.”
She maybe got it right. Rotten Tomatoes pegs it high. How Bernie Madoff or El Chapo might rate it, who knows?
Divine duo
Jonathan Pryce and Anthony Hopkins play Holy Fathers in “The Two Popes.” Jonathan: “I was nervous. I’m not Catholic. I was brought up Protestant. I wanted to be honest to the man who’s multifaceted — but flawed. Turns out I have an advantage. I look a bit like him. Uncanny is I walk like him. He has a dodgy hip, and I have a dodgy knee.”
It’s the first Pryce and Hopkins, two Welshmen, ever filmed together. When Pryce’s Cardinal Bergoglio meets Hopkins’ Pope Benedict, he’s in awe of the pontiff. That’s how he felt in his first scene with Sir Tony.
“Suddenly I felt like I’ve never been on a film set. Tony knows exactly what he’s doing. And I worried how two old men talking for two hours would be received.”
Nerves quelled in the Sistine Chapel, where between takes they cracked jokes. This now awaits the higher power of the Oscars for blessing.
Ponder this
Think. The way the world is going, politics is going, America is going, global government is going. It’s power to the mobs, the streets, the militants, the unhappies, the protesters, the millennials, the fringes. Rule — right or wrong — in future will be dictated by the people. Correct, not correct, favor the government, don’t favor the government, makes no nevermind … Whomever Earth’s next chiefs of state may be — if not toppled, arrested, brought up on charges — will suffer a similar meat grinder.
Biden’s October 2014 remark to the Harvard student body vice president: “Isn’t it a bitch? I mean, excuse me — the vice president thing.”
Only in Washington, DC, kids, only in Washington, DC.