itch.io

The entire thing feels like a fever dream, and I mean it with all of affection and respect. The use of the crabs in a bucket imagery and the title in the context of office culture makes the message pretty clear, while still not being overly blunt, which I always enjoy. I think I need to sit with this game for a while, it's been An Experience

A really cool little story! I can't deny, I kind of want to know how things would go for Eric and August after the romantic ending...

GODS. This was an experience. I absolutely love the overall feeling of this piece, from visuals, through the song choice, to the plot obviously. There's just something so gripping in the way you write conversations. I really wish I had more to say except for [screams in Polish]. I love the vampire old man yaoi, 13/13, no notes.

Don't worry about being too harsh, you certainly weren't that and I don't feel attacked or hurt in any way. I ask because I genuinely want to know the opinion of people who play/read my stuff in order to improve later down the road.

Why is it meant to be unpleasant? I genuinely think that there's something interesting in exploring unpleasant scenarios, that's all. It's a bit selfish from me, I suppose, but I mostly write for myself, and then just release it into the world, since people sometimes enjoy it for some reason. You say that nobody likes an unpleasant game, but statistically, the most unpleasant games I ever wrote tend to be the most popular ones. I guess it all boils down to personal tastes? I completely understand if the things I make aren't for everyone (and I actually keep reminding people that they shouldn't read my works if they're uncomfortable with certain topics).

You can say this is not a game; to be fair, I wouldn't call it one either. I chose the "visual novel" designation because of the format the story is presented in is reminiscent of the way traditional VNs are formatted. There's "kinetic novel" tag attached to this game because it doesn't have any choices on purpose. You are powerless in this situation and the brain frying is inevitable, therefore I thought implementing choices would take away from hammering that point home. However, I do agree that the story could be better with some dialogue choices in there! I might look into that and maybe make a better edition in the future. I also agree that the issue's not presented in a very nuanced matter. Still, I need to say that I don't see visual novels as a "way to express yourself" as a player, but more like a vehicle with which a story is told. That's a personal philosophy thing though, I suppose.

Before I answer the last point, I'm going to say this. It's fine to dislike the experience! I don't consider it a particularly polished or well-made work either, but it's been made on a VERY short notice. Not that it excuses lack of quality and such, but it's an explanation for some things. I just made it for fun in a very short timeframe, according to the theme of the jam which revolves around men/men-adjacent characters who have a drive to kill and will act on it. If it's not for you, that's absolutely fine and I understand it. Also, thank you for taking your time to tell me what you disliked in a polite way! I'm making notes for the future projects.

Now, to the power trip part. I like to explore a variety of character types in my works to try and understand mindsets different than my own, and this includes people who are terrible. Rogue is no different; I wrote him because I wanted to explore an eccentric murder guy mindset (which probably didn't come across that well, considering how surface level it was...). This story is Rogue's power trip, I can't deny that; he killed many people before, he'll kill many people in the future, and he's never been caught or stopped. But this is Rogue's power trip, not mine. I didn't deliver a lot of enjoyment from putting myself in this scenario, I don't particularly want to be in Rogue's place here. I'm not Rogue. As to profile picture similarities: they might seem similar because they're made out of simple shapes. The character in my profile picture is called Little Guy, and they're my persona that I use for my dev "work". For every game premiere, I switch the Little Guy for a game-specific variant: in case of te/ra/to/ma and ROGUE, it's a monochromatic, dithered variant, consistent with Decker aesthetic (usually, Little Guy is rendered in color!). Little Guy design was also made way earlier than Rogue's. Little Guy's made out of a face for a circle and a rectangle for body; they don't have ears or mouth, and their eyes are lines. Rogue's a bit more "realistic" with his body shape, he has ears (though in the wrong place, so you might not notice it on the first look lmao) and mouth, and his eyes are ovals. They're only similar because their designs are simple on purpose, but other than that, I can't see anything else. 

Either way! Thank you for taking your time to reply to me. Sorry for the essay, too.

Hi hi! This comment really intrigues me on a personal level. Could you please elaborate on what made you think it's "creator's power trip"? I'm asking unironically and sincerely.

As to "who would want to experience this" - well, I think nobody really wants to experience having their brain fried in the first place. This is meant to be somewhat unpleasant. I thought that the last line of the description made it clear enough that it's an unavoidable outcome? Please tell me if it wasn't, perhaps I should update it accordingly. Also, the second person narrative isn't really for immersion; it's present here because I tend to use it in order to not define a character. I understand that people don't sit in my head, though, and that my intent may not be very clear.

It's Decker!

Oh my gods, I'm so sorry! It really wasn't my intention to mislead anyone like this!  I can't imagine how upset you must've been after finishing this game. The experience is meant to be fairly "immersive" and it's based on things I went through, but I assure you that I'm alright, if that makes you feel any better. Please take care of yourself, I hope the feeling doesn't last for too long :c

Hi! I'll clarify the single choice thing here. At first, the script only had the "No" single choice. However, the jam rules specify that a choice must have multiple options to choose from, therefore, that "No" didn't count as a choice, technically. The second, multi-option choice was added to make the experience actually compliant with the jam rules (as it wouldn't have a single "choice" before). I didn't convert the "No" into plain text because I feel like actually interacting with it is way more meaningful, and I didn't convert it into a multi-choice thing because it would take away from what I wanted to achieve with this.

Thank you for your comment! Hope you also have a good time, whatever the time of the day it may be for you

feel free to catch me on Discord (ednaarel) if you'll have something in mind

we love an accountability queen and I mean this unironically

weed

Hi henlo! First of all, thanks for taking your time to play the game.

And yes. She's dead. That's it. That's because this is what the reality of suicide and death in general is like. Someone's gone and now you're left to deal with it. If you don't feel anything about it, that's still a valid reaction. Ultimately, this world is built for the living, and you need to carry on – as the narrator herself says.

This game made me feel numb, and it did so because I've been through this shit more than once and it triggered the numbness that comes with recalling it all. The way the lines became increasingly more difficult to pass, the realness of the conversations, it all made just the right blend. Thanks for making this game. It means a lot.

Hi henlo! Is there any way to reach you? I don't really know how I'd do it on itch unfortunately and I'd rather not have my e-mail hanging there

I think this might be because some people will vote on themes that sound interesting in general, but don't feel like using them in their work and would rather see someone else do it. I think I voted for Enemies with Benefits because it sounds like a great idea, but also I had no plans of choosing it for myself. 

I was working with my universe in which I already established a pretty strong symbolism with cornflowers so it was just the best choice for me since I didn't have to think about it a whole lot. Just pop that idea into the microwave and it's ready to eat.

Also, stats on theme usage because I just. Like to gather numbers ig??? I might be very wrong though, I am so bad at counting.

Enemies with Benefits 5

Flower Symbolism 11

Doomed by the Narrative 8

Trapped with Someone 8

Forbidden Romance 6,5 (since Dahlia had "a tiny bit of forbidden romance", I count it as "a tiny bit", which I decided is 0,5. Haven't played yet. It could be closer to 0,25... who knows! not me.)

Conclusion: I have to tell my friend who suggested Flower Symbolism that their theme fucking slaps

Jesus godsblessed Christ. I jumped into this jam right after i won't finish this game and I swear to gods that I will never do 2 releases in such quick succession. I slept for 8 hours total this weekend and consumed criminal amounts of caffeine. I still don't know if my script is coherent to anyone who didn't play my previous games, I'm not sure if I incorporated both themes correctly and I'm pretty much sure I fucked up volume when it comes to music. But I'm happy! A lot of stuff happened to me this week and the fact that I could make art, write, do music and release it at all is just wonderful. I love the challenge of having 36 hours to do it all, even though it's not my first rodeo of this kind (see, Shibboleth lol). Also I find it kind of funny that my first Velox game was about actively killing Pharmakon and the second was about essentially watching Heartling die, since Pharmakon and Heartling are sort of 2 sides of the same coin in lore... and they die by the same blade, in the end. I have a strange, subconscious tradition of holding onto a theme for certain jams (Pride-Shibboleth duology for O2A2, Blythe's gender woes for Trans Rep Jam...).

Anyway. I loved the fact that we had to incorporate 2 themes! This allows for a wide range of combos and interpretations (and I know the person who suggested Flower Symbolism! they're pretty happy that their suggested theme is so loved). I can't wait to see what everyone else did and how they blended their 2 themes together. Also, please y'all, drink some water, get some rest, eat a fruit maybe. Y'all did it. Hope you're fine. See you at next Velox, if you want to be there! I certainly do.

Hi! no worries! It's kinda my job to make sure my things are playable. If anything, I'm happy you can download it!

I didn't restrict anything (I don't even know if I have an option to do so) so perhaps it is your PC's fault. I'm not entirely sure what I can do about it; I'll try to look into it and see if there's something that can be done from my side. If you don't mind me asking, do you have an Android phone? I plan to release this story for Android sometime soon, so perhaps you could experience it this way when I do so?

Hi hi! I'm out of the game jam trenches so I can answer. I don't know what may cause this because I can download it just fine. Have you tried clicking the "downloads not starting?" text that's to the right side from the downloads themselves? There should be an option to enable alternative download mode and this generally should help. It's hard to see this option if you have itch's dark mode on, unfortunately.

Hi! I'm a bit busy right now so I might not get back to you really fast, but where does it happen? Do you press download here on the main page or download on the later page after the Pay What You Want prompt? (I know I was somewhat confused by that back in the day too ngl so I need to make sure)

Hi henlo! Thanks for playing. I don't have a lot to say, but I still want to reply. I am really moved by how this comment section managed to gather so many people who are still standing here. I am really glad that everyone is here to share their experiences and show that you can struggle, and yet still stay. And I won't deny, reading this comment and thinking about it really brings a tear to my eye. Thank you for that. I hope all goes well for you.

Hi! Thank you for playing. 

I went to a school that was sometimes called "suicide school" due to two students who took their lives somewhere in early 2000s. Everyone I knew there coped with their declining mental health by joking about death and related topics, and so did I. We just do what we have to do to cope sometimes, and I understand that.

I'd rather avoid giving any advice; I'm just some guy on the internet, not a mental health professional, and everyone is different. What I know is that going on is hard, but it does get better eventually. You'll finish your games, I believe in it.

Hi hi! First of all, I'm glad you're here. And yeah, I can relate to all of the thoughts you talk about here. You wish it was easy but also you keep thinking about all the things that can go wrong and all of that. And finding a reason to go on, no matter how small, is a really good thing. That's how I'm still there.

Never be sorry for opening up. Thank you for being here, hope you take care too.

Hi hi Chim! Thank you for playing this game. Honestly, I'm glad you're showing a perspective of someone who had a bit different reaction to it all. I guess that validates my view of art: it's going to provoke different reactions in different people. And the comment about loopholes and finding different perspectives is so real. You don't really want to die, just... have a solution. And I'm glad you didn't give in, just like I'm glad I didn't give in. I wish I didn't have the experience necessary to make this game in the first place, but I do have it, and I guess that was the best way to use it, if that's the right word. Thank you for this comment.

Hi hi! Thank you so much for playing and sorry for making you sad (and before you say that I shouldn't be sorry, well, I'm gonna be anyway lmao). And to be honest, before I became aware of my own transness and my goal became "I don't want to die under a name that doesn't belong to me", the "funerals are too expensive" thing was my main motivation LMAO. And yeah! The reason might seem a little weird in retrospective, but in the end, if it works, it works. And that's the most important. I'm also glad we survived, and best wishes to you as well.

Hi! Thank you for playing. It's a very short comment, but it's a quote that is now seared into my brain. I think I'll write it down somewhere, actually. Thank you very much for it.

Hi! Thank you for playing. I think what you're saying here is pretty important. It's very easy to dismiss the love and care we get from others - it was easy for me, for sure - but you can never dismiss the love and care you give yourself. This is still a big part of my life as of now: the idea that I have to be able to love and forgive myself, and treat myself just like I'd treat someone else. Do I always do that? No, but it's a part of the process, I guess. It's a long road, but you need to begin somewhere. Thank you for this comment. Hope you're treating yourself well too.

Hi henlo! Alex I'm gonna hug you so hard if we ever meet. Thank you for playing.

Hi! Thank you for playing. I don't know what you're going through (and it's valid to not tell), but I hope you'll end up being fine. I'm glad I could make you feel a little bit less alone in all of this. And I hope you're also taking care of yourself.

Hi hi! Thank you for playing this game. It wasn't easy to open up like this and I still feel a little weird with the fact that I ended up doing it, but seeing comments such as this one reassures me that it was the right decision. Thank you for it, and I hope you stay safe too.

Hi hi Chatter! Thanks for playing this game and thank you for such a long comment. My reply won't be that long. I'll just say that I do trust you to handle such themes correctly, based on your work I've seen so far. If you'll want someone to take a look at that future project, let me know; I'll be more than happy to help out on that side of things. Again, thank you for playing. It means a lot.

ah okay then, I think it's not clear enough in the text... you should, like, say he's not important or something, it's easy to miss /j

idk guys I think he might be important or something?

WHY AM I BEING CALLED OUT

I don't know what to say because I'm still recovering. Gidget my beloved. GIDGET MY BELOVED. It's been a while since I could romance a character who made me feel all of this soft fuzzy warm stuff. Got me giggling kicking my feet. If you even care. I should probably write a coherent, proper review, but good gods, I am incapable. Just........ gestures vaguely Gidget. 13/13 I would lose my shoe again.

honestly it's such a relief to see people tell me that I did the theme right because it was my greatest anxiety 💀 everything else is something I'm still a beginner at so I accept that I'm not going to be amazing at it but if the writing sucked it'd be so over for me

I'm here just to say that I was deathly terrified of ranked jams and this one helped me not think about it like it was Last Judgement, thanks for that