The 100 recap: What did Clarke just do?

“What the hell happened here?”

The question that Clarke asked at the end of episode 12 hangs in the air at the beginning of the episode — and at the end. What happens at the end of “Blood Giant,” one of the last episodes of the series, is incredibly confusing. It was a questionable death from a writing perspective, made all the more difficult to fathom by the fact that it wasn’t even really sad?

I am a TV crier. I have cried at nearly every character’s death on this show, starting back with Wells in episode 3. Tonight, I did not shed a single tear for Bellamy, who has been one of my favorite characters throughout the series. Yes, it was quick and unexpected, but I am honestly perplexed at why it needed to happen. But recapping this show is my job, so let’s try and break down what went down in episode 13:

At the top of the episode, I was fully prepared for a battle between the two Big Bads of the season. And it is … underwhelming in the most hilarious way. Gabriel steps forward to ask his former friend Russell what’s going on, but Clarke quickly susses out that this isn’t him. Sheidheda explains that the new protocol in Sanctum is “kneel or die.” Just as I’m ready to see these two men go head to head, The Shepherd says “nah” and all his invisible Disciples take out all of the Grounder guards. As Raven, Clarke, and Indra untie Murphy, they all realize that Gaia is MIA. (Seriously, who has her? Our original guess of Bellamy doesn’t make sense anymore. Is it possible one of the other Cadogans is still alive and opposing father Bill? Can Gaia save them all and bring Bellamy back from the dead!? Fingers crossed.)

The Shepherd assesses the situation: Indra will get tied up. Raven and Murphy will go along as Clarke takes them all to the key. But Sheidheda hasn’t been taken out, and when he tries to go for Bill, another hidden guard runs him through with a sword. Bill tells the bleeding commander that if he gets through the city undisturbed, Gabriel can help him.

Down in the reactor room, I am relieved to see the dog is safe! Madi and all the kids are using him as an emotional support dog while Sheidheda’s men try to break down the door.

Above ground, Bill is not a fan of Sanctum. He wants Clarke to find the key, so he can get the hell out as soon as possible. All Clarke cares about is getting her friends back, so she rushes off to find it while Raven and Murphy wait behind with Bill, Bellamy, and Doucette (The Man in White apparently has a name!). Raven and Murphy use that time to catch up on what the heck is going on with Bellamy and everything else. “Sheidheda is alive, and Madi is in a nuclear reactor — you did good,” Raven teases Murphy of his reign during Sanctum. “All of our friends are missing, and Bellamy is a sheep — so did you,” he ribs her right back.

Bill takes this time to have a heart to heart with Bellamy. Although Doucette will be Anders’ replacement, he’s not like the two of them. These disciples have believed their whole life, so having faith is easy. Only he and Bellamy understand how hard it is to detach from friends and family in the quest for transcendence. Bellamy feels incredibly torn about leaving them all behind, but Bill says that his friends will understand eventually. BUT WILL THEY!? I sure don’t.

Anyway, in the palace, Gabriel is telling Sheidheda that there isn’t much he can do for him. Indra says to just let the man bleed out when who should appear but ol’ Josephine. For a moment, I think maybe Gabriel’s Mind Drive is responding to being near Sheidheda’s and she’s somehow lived on there. But Gabriel is quicker on the uptake than I am: It’s the Red Sun. Just what we needed! Apparently, even though it’s nighttime, the toxins are hitting the circling moon. The alarms start going off and Bellamy has to explain to The Shepherd what’s going on. He wants to hoof it back to Bardo, but the Shepherd isn’t leaving without his precious key.

Down in the reactor room, Emori has the genius idea to knock out the power — and therefore the shields — so the bugs can invade Sanctum and attack the Grounders trying to break in. The idea came to her while Nikki was trying to attack someone, but a kid hit her on the head in the dark and all is well. With the power out, Raven says she has to go get the power back on. Bellamy says it’s likely that with the alarms going off, Clarke will head to the reactor room as well. He’s right. They all meet up there, and the Disciples blast a hole in the door. Raven works to get the power back on while she hands out antitoxin she grabbed from the farmhouse.

Oh, and Clarke also happened to pick up the Flame, which she hands off to Bill. Madi whispers that she shouldn’t have done that — she knows bad things are in store. She says she “remembers” things, and Clarke asks if that’s what’s in her journal. When Madi says yes, Clarke tells her she must not ever tell anyone about it.

Once Raven gets the power back on, a leak springs up in the interior of the reactor room. She goes in to fix it, and does, but when she turns around, Nikki is there waiting to attack. With tears in her eyes, Raven admits to what she did: She says she was a coward and let Hatch die because she wasn’t brave enough to fix the leak herself. Nikki decides to let her live with what she’s done. Nikki, you don’t even know all that our girl Raven has had to live with. Trust: She has suffered enough for many lifetimes.

With Gabriel tripping on red toxin and seeing sexy Josephine, he stumbles into his laboratory, where Jackson is helping to evacuate everyone to the tunnels. Gabriel gives Jackson the last of the antitoxin and then enlists him to help create more — he’s used to working while intoxicated and having Ghost Josie bug him. She’s tempting him with the Flame. She says if he can put it in his head, then HE can take the test for all mankind. After all, they did travel across the stars to save the human race. Now’s his chance.

Indra is also tripping. She and Sheidheda are tied up near each other, and she’s trying to cut herself free. He’s trying to get her to work together, but with her seeing visions of her mother being killed by the first incarnation of Sheidheda, that doesn’t seem likely.

The Disciples are hallucinating too and turning on one another. When Indra finally breaks free, she’s able to kill most of the Disciples, but one gets his helmet on and goes invisible. He steps in blood and Sheidheda watches his footsteps and warns her that he’s behind her. She literally beheads the man, and then Gabriel walks in and calmly gives her some antitoxin. Now in her right mind, Indra decides to let Sheidheda bleed out. It’s like Indra has never watched a scary movie! This Bad Guy is definitely not dead; we will see him again, unfortunately.

Just then, The Shepherd and his Disciples and Clarke and her gang rush into the Great Hall. Gabriel says he can restore the damaged code with the machine he used to repair the Mind Drives, which were also created by Becca. Bill is so pleased he doesn’t question it. Gabriel starts to extract the information, but he has a change of heart. He quickly grabs his gun and shoots the Flame. He trains his gun on Cadogan and tells all the Disciples to take their helmets off and lower their weapons. Doucette tries to save Bill, and Clarke shoots him. None of the Disciples want to risk Bill’s life, so they stand down.

Clarke and her friends finally have the drop on The Shepherd. Raven tries to enter the code to find their friends, but Bill has taken that planet offline. He’s the only one with the codes; Clarke says he must enter it if he wants to live. Oh, and he’s going with them. Bellamy is planning to step through with all of them, but Clarke stops him. “You’ve made your choice,” she says. Although she said she wouldn’t lose anyone else, she knows she’s lost him.

As Clarke starts to walk through the bridge, Sheidheda says he can help Bellamy: There’s a notebook on the throne. Clarke looks back and sees what it is just as Bell starts to flip through: It’s Madi’s drawings of the future. Clarke starts speaking to Bellamy in Trigedasleng so the Disciples don’t understand that he needs to hand over the notebook or she’ll kill everyone. Bellamy tries to tell her that Madi isn’t in trouble, but Clarke doesn’t believe it. She shoots a Disciple who makes a move for her — and then she says she’ll shoot Cadogan. Bellamy says it’s not even about him, that it’s bigger than all of them. But Madi is Clarke’s whole world: She trains the gun on Bellamy, who thinks she won’t shoot. If you’re like me, this is probably where you started getting a very uneasy feeling.

As the bridge is about to close, Bellamy says he has no choice but to share the book. “This is how we do better,” he says as he starts to hand off the notebook to a Disciple. Clarke fires the gun into his chest. The notebook drops to the floor, and she runs out of bullets before she can kill all the Disciples. She goes through the Bridge, with no notebook, no Bellamy, and seemingly no plan.

Here’s the thing: I was uneasy about Bellamy’s Discipleship plotline from the start (a whopping two episodes ago), but there was always the chance that he would remember how important his friends and family are and come back to the right side. That chance is now gone.

Plus, he was killed by his best friend. She did it because of a notebook, which SHE DIDN’T EVEN GET. It was like a Sophie’s Choice situation that didn’t need to happen. It’s no secret that Bob Morley wanted to be on fewer episodes this season, but killing off characters for actor’s schedules hasn’t worked well for this show in the past...

Maybe in the final three episodes, we will find out that Bellamy was right, and it was worth the sacrifice — OR that, somehow, he isn’t dead, and he can still reunite with his friends. But I’m not holding my breath… or should I? This episode just has me all confused.

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