The Mindy Project recap: The Greatest Date in the World

That post-Buchanan date Mindy went on with Marcus last week went well, evidently: This episode kicks off with Marcus (played by none other than Ne-Yo) taking her on a series of hip dates. They go to a Chinese restaurant where cooks kill chickens right before their eyes! They go to an interactive theater where someone cracks an egg on Mindy’s head for art! They play in a massive pillow fight! Marcus is, as Mindy dubs him, Mr. New York.

Mr. New York can get tiresome though. After dining on charred crow at a Transylvanian restaurant, Mindy suggests they go to a Barnes and Noble to pick up a birthday present for Jody. Marcus scoffs at the idea — a chain? — and instead takes her on an adventure to a bookstand on a sidewalk where they sadly (but predictably) do not sell Lonesome Dove, the book Mindy was looking for. To Barnes and Noble it is.

Back at the office, there’s a bit of drama going on because the nurses want to turn Danny’s abandoned office into their own lounge. Jeremy finally gives them the okay, but gets upset once he sees a poster in there that says, “They pay me to work here, but they don’t pay me to like it.” To make the nurses enjoy working there, he takes them out to a fancy dinner and offers to give them anything their heart desires: Fridays off, an intern, a popcorn machine, you name it. Jeremy, best boss ever?

But only for so long: Once he does all this, he visits the lounge again and notices the “offensive” poster is still there. He hits back by putting a sign that says, “I hate nurses!” on his own door, which sparks a debate about freedom of speech. Basically, Jeremy doesn’t get why they can hang that poster but he can’t. As Jody rather sensibly explains, griping is all “underlings” have. Jeremy eventually gets it, and even takes down his poster. No word on whether the nurses got to keep their popcorn machine, though.

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In other office drama, Mindy doesn’t approve of one of her patients, Eden, trying to get pregnant by her noncommittal, party-loving boyfriend, Jonah. She believes so strongly that Eden shouldn’t procreate with this guy that she goes to his apartment — filled with women, smoke, and booze — and tells him off. This is wildly out of line, of course. Mindy thinks it’s totally justified because she was trying to prevent Eden from making a mistake, of course.

NEXT: Jody gets involved

Jody finds out about this, and ends up taking the case from Mindy, who he later apologizes to. Before this, Mindy tries to get Marcus to sit on the couch with her for a stay-at-home date of watching movies and talking. Marcus can’t do this. It’s not exciting enough, and he probably has BuzzFeed quizzes to take on a jetpack that takes him from one New York landmark to the next or something. That is Mindy’s idea of the perfect date though — the staying at home, not the jetpack — so she and Marcus are over. On to the next one.

This is great timing, because when Jody comes by to apologize (but also to remind Mindy that she needs to work on her boundaries), she’s watching Cars — and Jody’s totally down to join her for a chill night. After giving him Lonesome Dove, Mindy explains how cars become born and then eventually falls asleep as the movie plays on. Once the credits start rolling, Jody realizes she’s passed out and gets up to leave. He brushes her hair to the side and looks lovingly at her sleeping face. But it’s a trick: Mindy’s still awake! She opens her eyes as soon as he leaves, probably realizing that, oh, s—, she just had the perfect date. Who needs Mr. New York when you can have Mr. Couch?

Best lines:

“Does that mean that my child will have tons of brothers and sisters? What if they accidentally sleep together? Sure, that would be a great show on Amazon, but…” —Eden

“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard. And I played saxophone in high school. To get guys.” —Mindy

“Trying to trap a guy never works. If it did, Joey McIntyre would still be locked in my parents’ basement.” —Mindy

“One day, Eden was like, I want to have a baby. I was like, a baby? But I’m only 39. Then I thought about it, and I was like, I’ve done way weirder stuff than that.” —Jonah

“See, it’s that attitude right there, which is fine, we’re used to it, because in this society, if you are a lesbian or a black woman or a person of filth, this is how it is.” —Morgan

Tamra: “We don’t come into your space and tell you to take down your picture of a little girl on a horse.”

Jeremy: “That’s me! On Ginger!”

“I got it from Barnes and Noble. It was in the Grandpa’s Casket Stuffer section.” —Mindy on Lonesome Dove

By the numbers:

Outfits: 13

Dates Marcus takes Mindy on before she brings him back to her apartment: 4

Minutes Danny and Mindy spent fighting over the theme of Leo’s birthday party: 60

Age of Eden’s man-child of a “boyfriend”: 39