TV Article Harry Potter: 150 more celebrities sorted into Hogwarts houses I'm not here to make friends By Marc Snetiker Marc Snetiker Marc Snetiker is a former senior editor at Entertainment Weekly. He left EW in 2020. EW's editorial guidelines Updated on August 8, 2022 09:27AM EDT Photo: Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images; Karwai Tang/WireImage; Jimi Celeste/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images Sept. 1 is that crisp, cool date when Muggles across the world are hit with the sobering realization that they will not be receiving a Hogwarts letter, a new year of wizard tutelage will commence without them, and that magic, unlike the crippling anxiety that plagues us every moment, is not real. But who needs Hogwarts when we have a perfectly magical world right here in our own zeitgeist? Celebrities of the modern era can be more than just headlines you can't avoid in your daily life. They can be your classmates if you only just imagine. I don't fancy myself much of a Sorting Hat (I'm more of a Sorting Sweatpant or Chunky Knit) but anything is possible if you believe. Look, there's little first-year Martin Scorsese getting pummeled for galleons in the courtyard by super sixth-year John Cena. There go Hufflepuff's proud Gyllenhaal siblings, trying in vain once more to convince the Hogwarts theater program to do something other than The Wiz. And who can forget house ghost Jonah Hill, haunting the girls of Fifth Harmony as they stalk prefect Zac Efron through the restricted section? See? It's easy. For your imaginative leisure and fan-fic pleasure, here are 150 more—yes, more, because I stupidly did this before to genuinely disastrous results—celebrities painstakingly sorted into Hogwarts houses. Happy Back to Hogwarts Day! Also, Trump is a squib. SLYTHERIN Harrison Ford Chrissy Teigen The octopus from Finding Dory Rihanna Kirstie Alley George Lucas Valerie Cherish Billy Eichner Miriam Shor Jared Leto Jared Leto's Joker Meghan Trainor Daisy Duck Emma Roberts Brendan Fraser JoJo [singer, "Leave (Get Out)"] The Bachelor host Chris Harrison Chloë Grace Moretz Selena Gomez Amber Rose Miles Teller Leslie Odom Jr. Aaron Burr Bill Murray Johnny Depp The Giving Tree Henry Cavill The cast of You're the Worst Rita Ora Rebel Wilson Derek Hough Bobby Cannavale Three of the members of Fifth Harmony but TBD which Tituss Burgess Jamie Dornan Lance Bass Kim Kardashian Fred from Scooby-Doo Scott Eastwood Pizza Rat? GRYFFINDOR Taraji P. Henson Making a Murderer lawyer Dean Strang Melissa Benoist Maisie Williams Idris Elba Jeffrey Tambor Malala The dog-clock from The Phantom Tollbooth Amy Schumer Audra McDonald Audra McDonald's record-setting six Tonys Priyanka Chopra Simone Biles Constance Wu America Ferrera Beyoncé Tracee Ellis Ross Kate Middleton Strega Nona J.K. Simmons Hodor Bill Hader John Boyega Keri Russell Alicia Keys Ronda Rousey Cher Nick Offerman Margo Martindale Bashful from Snow White Margot Robbie Kate McKinnon Daveed Diggs Gal Gadot Oscar Isaac Chance the Rapper Justin Trudeau Character actress Jane Krakowski RAVENCLAW Rooney Mara Jussie Smollett Joyce DeWitt Benedict Cumberbatch Sarah Paulson Barb from Stranger Things Amal Clooney Uzo Aduba Abbi Jacobson Lin-Manuel Miranda Ryan Gosling Bob Ross Orlando Bloom's paddleboard Daisy Ridley Tim Cook Charlize Theron Lena Dunham Kendrick Lamar Mayim Bialik Kristen Wiig Kirsten Dunst Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service Alicia Vikander Alexis Bledel Sutton Foster Rachel Bloom Young Arthur Miller Zendaya Rami Malek Samantha Bee Andy Samberg Bryce Dallas Howard Samira Wiley Minnie Driver Millie Bobby Brown Eddie Redmayne Stephen Sondheim HUFFLEPUFF Tim Kaine James Corden Britney Spears The Gingerbread Man cookie from Shrek Chris Pratt The Rock Sam Claflin Matthews Goode & Rhys Carly Rae Jepsen Harambe Drake Ilana Glazer Kristen Bell Gina Rodriguez Amelia Bedelia BB-8 John Cho Ellie Kemper Megan Hilty Steven Universe Glee star Kate Hudson Prince Harry Mark Ruffalo Kourtney Kardashian Amy Adams Jon & Tina from S Club 7 Poot Lovato Chiwetel Ejiofor Michael Fassbender Justin Timberlake Alejandro G. Iñárritu Hailee Steinfeld That sloth that hugged the pole on the highway Gaten Matarazzo HEADMISTRESS Leslie Jones EXPELLED Taylor Swift Additional contributions by Jessica Goodman, Madeline Boardman, and Christopher Rosen, whose sorting assistance was reflected to varying degree.