The creators of 'Sex Criminals' want to teach you how to sex good

Let’s start with a question: Are you reading Sex Criminals? Because you should be. Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky’s comic about a couple who can stop time whenever they have sex—and therefore turn to a life of crime—is both hilariously raunchy and deeply heartfelt, frank in its language but never titillating. That’s always been the sort of metajoke with the book—if you only give it a cursory glance, it’s easy to write off as prurient and crude, but if you take the time to read it, you’ll be met with a thoughtful story that’s actually about sex, and not just full of it.

It’s also a comic that’s best read as each issue comes out monthly, for one very specific reason: Matt and Chip’s letters section, called Letter Daddies. There are a lot of things to like about Letter Daddies—the way it feels like a safe space for a community to come and talk frankly about sex is wonderful, and feels necessary in a way that’s hard to quantify—but the duo’s “Sex Tips” are hard to top. Good thing they’re releasing a whole book of them.

Called Just the Tips, the book promises to “give every sex-dummy the tools for totally not sucking at sex anymore,” and includes pointers like “Pretend to be a sexy firefighter and just be constantly distracted that you’ll be called to fight a fire while making love,” and “Denying your partner satisfaction can be a real turn-on for both of you. Blindfold them, tease them with light touches and then move to a new city.”

In case you want to get more of a sense of the sort of wisdom Fraction and Zdarsky have in store for you, take a look at this very NSFW 24-page preview, courtesy of Image Comics.

You probably shouldn’t follow their advice.