Late night tackles Donald Sterling scandal

Billionaire Donald Sterling made headlines last week when TMZ posted audio recordings of the Los Angeles Clippers owner making racist comments. Specifically, the audio captures Sterling telling his mistress that he doesn’t want her associating with black people in public and asking her not to bring “them” to his games.

Everyone from President Obama to Snoop Dogg have offered their two cents on the controversy — and on Monday night, it was late night’s turn. See what each host had to say about Sterling, including what kind of animal he resembles, below:

Late Night with Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers used his “Couple Things” segments to scold Sterling, reminding him that it’s 2014: “That’s the year we live in, and also how racist you are on a scale of 1 to 10.” Sterling’s looks weren’t immune to the insults; Meyers also called him “a man with otter posture.” (That’s definitely our new favorite dig.)

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

“Sterling insists he’s not a racist. He says some of his best credit cards are black,” Jimmy Kimmel deadpanned in his Sterling-centered monologue, which also included a clip of Snoop Dogg throwing some NSFW insults at Sterling and an offer from Kimmel himself to buy the Clippers — for $5,000.

Late Show with David Letterman

Letterman offered a few one-liners, comparing the Clippers owner to another high-profile figure who’s been called out for racially-charged remarks: “Earlier today he was rushed to the Paula Deen Rehab Center in Georgia,” Letterman joked in his monologue. “So that’s where he’ll be.”

And Sterling wasn’t let off that easily. Letterman also made Sterling the focus of his famous top 10 list, which last night was titled “Guys Donald Sterling Looks Like” — including “the only naked guy in the sauna” and “the guy who takes a bite out of a sandwich at a buffet and puts it back.”

The Arsenio Hall Show

In the tapes, Sterling allegedly tells his mistress not to take Instagram photos with black people — including basketball star Magic Johnson, with whom she’d already taken a photo. So Arsenio turned the tables, posing with a cardboard cutout of Sterling and posting the resulting photo to his own Instagram.

“Don’t get mad, get even,” Hall wrote in the caption, “Now #DonaldSterling is in pictures with black people.”

Conan

The NAACP was about to award Donald Sterling a second Lifetime Achievement Award when news of his comments broke. Conan O’Brien pointed out that the organization decided against the prize, instead honoring Sterling with “the Reason We Still Need an NAACP Award.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson pointed out the one part of the story that’s been overshadowed by Sterling’s racist comments — that he has a mistress. “You know what’s bad? When you get on tape with your mistress, and it’s what you said that’s the problem.”

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart devoted a large chunk of Monday’s show to Sterling, noting that while Clippers owner — who’s “gotten rich off the labors of a mostly black basketball team” and is dating a mixed-race woman — may be racist, his “d—” and his wallet are not. He also welcomed back TDS Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore, who marveled at the embarrassment of riches at his fingertips: “I got on a plane to come out here and talk about Cliven Bundy. By the time I had landed, Donald Sterling was blowing up! I mean, in one news cycle, we’ve got Libertarian Cowboy Racists, Old Jewish Sports Racists, and dudes bragging about their black friends through a KKK hood!”