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Feedback template for the book chapter exercise for the motivation and emotion unit.

Designed to be transcluded on a chapter talk page.

Simple example

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

Overview

Theory

Research

Integration

Conclusion

Style

Learning features

Social contribution

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:47, 10 October 2024 (UTC)

Detailed example

Example use of the template, with some common feedback comments:

<!-- Official book chapter feedback -->
{{MEBF/2024
|1=
<!-- Overall comments... -->
# Overall, this is an outstanding chapter. It successfully integrates psychological theory and research in a highly readable way to address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It successfully uses psychological theory and research to address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is a very good chapter. It makes very good use of psychological theory and research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is a reasonably good chapter. It makes good use of psychological theory and research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter
# Overall, this is an insufficient chapter
# The main area for potential improvement is the quality of written expression / the use of the best peer-reviewed psychological theory and research about this topic
# The main area for potential improvement is to write using your own words based on reading and citing of the most relevant peer-reviewed academic literature about the topic
# I suspect that some of this chapter is based on unacknowledged use of [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Using generative AI|genAI output]]; if so, it violates academic integrity principles
# I suspect that the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment#Assessment items|recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours]] were not invested in preparing this chapter
<!-- Overall – Citations -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic use of academic, peer-reviewed citations to support claims
# In some/many places, better use could be made of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
# Better use could be made of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
# Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
# Move embedded external links to academic articles into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#References|References]] section, include links as dois, and provide APA style citation to the article in the main body text
# Move embedded external links to non-peer-reviewed sources into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#External links|External links]] section
# For citations, use APA style or wiki style, but not both
<!-- Overall – Word count -->
# Under the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter#Wordcount|maximum word count]], so there is room to expand
# Over the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter#Wordcount|maximum word count]]. Content beyond 4,000 words has been ignored for marking purposes.
# This chapter "[[wikt:beat around the bush|beats around the bush]]" before directly tackling the target topic
<!-- Overall – Copyedits -->
# For additional feedback, see the following comments and [ these copyedits]
|2=
<!-- Overview comments... -->
# Well developed/Solid/Reasonably good/Basic/Underdeveloped
<!-- Overview – Case study -->
# Engages reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box with a relevant image
# Engages reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box; also include a relevant image
# Engage reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box with a relevant image
<!-- Overview – Explains problem -->
# Compellingly explains the psychological problem or phenomenon
# Clearly explains the psychological problem or phenomenon
# Explains the psychological problem or phenomenon reasonably well
# Briefly explains the psychological problem or phenomenon; provide more detail
# Too long/overly complicated – explain the psychological problem or phenomenon in a simpler way. Move detail into subsequent sections.
<!-- Overview – Focus questions -->
# The focus questions are excellent (clear and relevant)/very good/good/reasonably good/basic/promising/insufficient
# The focus questions could be improved by:
## being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title)
## using [[w:Open-ended question|open-ended]] rather than [[w:Closed-ended question|closed-ended]]
## using a numbered list or bullet points as taught in [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## being presented in a feature box to help guide the reader (fixed)
# Add focus questions in a feature box
|3=
<!-- Theory comments... -->
<!-- Theory – Breadth -->
# An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
# A very good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
# A reasonably good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
# A basic range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
# A promising range of ideas are presented but it is far from clear how this material is derived from a first person reading of the best peer-reviewed psychological theory and research about this topic
# Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory about this topic
# Reduce general theoretical background (e.g., definitions). Instead, summarise and link to related resources (i.e., other book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles). Increase emphasis on [[wikt:substantive|substantive]] aspects of theory that relate directly to the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
<!-- Theory – Builds on -->
# Builds exceptionally well on other [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and [[w:|Wikipedia]] articles
# Builds effectively on other [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and/or [[w:|Wikipedia]] articles
# Builds reasonably well on other [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and/or [[w:|Wikipedia]] articles
# Builds somewhat on other [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and/or [[w:|Wikipedia]] articles
# Builds on one previous [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and/or [[w:|Wikipedia]] article
# Build more strongly on related [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and/or [[w:|Wikipedia]] articles (e.g., by embedding interwiki links for key terms)
# This chapter does not build on related [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]] and/or [[w:|Wikipedia]] articles (e.g., by embedding interwiki links for key terms)
<!-- Theory – Depth -->
# Insightful/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)
<!-- Theory – Tables/Figures/Lists -->
# Excellent/very good/reasonably good/basic/insufficient use of tables, figures, and/or lists to help clearly convey key theoretical information
# Use tables, figures, and/or lists to help convey key theoretical information
<!-- Theory – Citations -->
# Key citations are well used
# In some/many places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
# Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
# If you didn't consult an original source (e.g., ?), cite it as a [https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/citations/secondary-sources secondary source]
<!-- Theory – Examples -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Some/Basic use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
# Consider using more examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
# Insufficient use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
|4=
<!-- Research comments... -->
<!-- Research – Key findings -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient review of relevant research
# More detail about key studies would be ideal
# Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area?
# In some/many places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
# Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
<!-- Research – Critical thinking -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient [[w:Critical thinking|critical thinking]] about relevant research is evident
# [[w:Critical thinking|Critical thinking]] about research could be further evidenced by:
## describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
## considering the strength of relationships
## acknowledging limitations
## pointing out critiques/counterarguments
## suggesting ''specific'' directions for future research
# Claims are well referenced
# Some/Many claims lack sufficient citation (e.g., see the {{f}} tags)
|5=
<!-- Integration comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient integration between theory and research
# The chapter places more emphasis on theory than on research; strive for an integrated balance
# Where research is discussed, it is integrated with theory
# Insufficient integration with [[Motivation and emotion/Book|chapters]]
|6=
<!-- Conclusion comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic summary and conclusion
# Insufficient as a cohesive summary of the best available psychological theory and research about the topic
# Reads like generic [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Using generative AI|genAI output]]; write more compellingly in your own words
# Remind the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest
# Key points are well summarised
# Summarise key points
# The focus questions are addressed
# Address the focus questions
# Clear take-home message(s)
# Add practical, take-home message(s)
# Not counted for marking purposes due to being over the maximum word count
|7=
<!-- Written expression – Style comments... -->
<!-- Written expression – Written expression -->
# Written expression
## Overall, the quality of written expression is outstanding (highly professional)
## Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent/very good/good/reasonably good/basic
## Overall, the quality of written expression is OK but there are several aspects which are below professional standard
## Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. [https://www.canberra.edu.au/current-students/study-skills UC Study Skills] assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills
## Some of the written expression is quite abstract, which makes this a difficult read for an unfamiliar reader. Consider ways of simplifying the written expression to make it more accessible to a wider audience. This is the essence of [[w:science communication|science communication]].
## The written expression is quite convoluted, which makes this a difficult read. Consider ways of simplifying the written expression. This is important for effective [[w:science communication|science communication]].
## Use active (e.g., "this chapter explores") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/grammar/active-passive-voice][https://www.grammarly.com/blog/active-vs-passive-voice/]
## The target audience is international, not domestic. [http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/australia-population/ Only 0.3% of the world human population lives in Australia].
<!-- Written expression – Sentences -->
## Some sentences could be explained more clearly (e.g., see the {{explain}} and {{rewrite}} tags)
## Some sentences are overly long. Strive for the simplest expression. Consider splitting longer sentences into two shorter sentences. Shorter words and sentences are more [[w:Readability|readable]]. Try conducting a readability analysis such as via https://www.webfx.com/tools/read-able/. This chapter gets a score of . Aim for 50+.
## Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]] at the end of the sentence.
<!-- Written expression – Paragraphs -->
## Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences.
## Avoid one sentence paragraphs. Communicate one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences.
## Bullet points are overused. Develop more of the bullet point statements into full sentences and paragraphs.
<!-- Written expression – Language -->
## Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[https://www.grammarly.com/blog/first-second-and-third-person/] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes
## Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
### it is, most often, not needed at all, or
### use [[w:Help#Section linking|section linking]]
## Embed direct quotes within sentences and paragraphs, rather than presenting them [[wikt:holus-bolus|holus-bolus]]
## "People" is often a better term than "individuals"
## Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind, s/he -> they)
## Reduce use of [[w:weasel word|weasel word]]s which bulk out the text but don't enhance meaning
## Use permanent, rather than relative, time references. For example, instead of "20 years ago", refer to something like "at the beginning of the 21st century". In this way, the text will survive better into the future, without needing to be rewritten.
## Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. *) in science-based communication
<!-- Written expression – Layout -->
# Layout
## The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections
## The structure is overly complicated; aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Introduction and Conclusion
## Consider using subheadings
## The chapter structure is underdeveloped; consider expanding
## Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
## Use the default heading style (e.g., remove additional italics, bold, and/or change in font size)
## See earlier comments about [[#Heading casing|heading casing]]
## Provide more descriptive headings
## Move links from headings into their first mention in text
## Remove abbreviations from headings
## Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see {{expand}} tags)
<!-- Written expression – Grammar -->
# Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent
# Grammar
## The grammar for some/many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the {{g}} tags)
### Consider using a [https://www.google.com/search?q=grammar+checking+tools grammar checking tool]
### Another option is to use a services provided by UC, such as Studiosity
### Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance
## Check and make [https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/ correct use of commas]
## Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')[https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/punctuation/apostrophe-rules.html]
## Check and correct use of [https://www.google.com.au/search?q=grammar+that+vs+who that vs. who]
## Check and correct use of [https://www.google.com.au/search?q=affect+vs.+effect+grammar affect vs. effect]
## Check and correct use of [http://www.colonsemicolon.com/ semicolons (;) and colons (:)]
<!-- Written expression – Abbreviations -->
## Abbreviations
### Check and correct formatting of abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., etc.)
### Only use abbreviations such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc. inside [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]], otherwise spell them out
### Use abbreviations sparingly. Do not use abbreviations for minor/infrequently used terms.
### Spell out abbreviations on their first use, to explain them to the reader
### Once an abbreviation has been established (e.g., PTSD), use it consistently aftwarwards
### Only introduce abbreviations which are subsequently used
<!-- Written expression – Spelling -->
# Spelling
## Some words are misspelt (e.g., see the {{sp}} tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages.
## Use [https://www.abc.net.au/education/learn-english/australian-vs-american-spelling/11244196 Australian spelling] (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour)
<!-- Written expression – Proofreading -->
# Proofreading
## More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard
## Remove unnecessary capitalisation – [https://polishedpaper.com/blog/capitalization-apa-style more info]
<!-- Written expression – APA style -->
# APA style
## [https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/capitalization/diseases-disorders-therapies Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.]
## Use [[w:Serial comma|serial comma]]s[https://www.buzzfeed.com/adamdavis/the-oxford-comma-is-extremely-important-and-everyone-should]. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBx8ooDupXY Video] (1 min)
## Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used ... as slang, or as an invented or coined expression" ([https://apastyle.apa.org/products/publication-manual-7th-edition APA Style 7th ed.], 2020, p. 159)
## "Use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" ([https://apastyle.apa.org/products/publication-manual-7th-edition APA Style 7th ed.], 2020, p. 159)
## Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99)
## Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, communicate about concepts in your own words
## Direct quotes are overused – it is better to communicate about concepts in your own words
<!-- Written expression – Figures -->
## Figures
### Very well/Well/Reasonably well captioned
### Briefly captioned; provide more detail to help connect the figure to the text
### Add captions
### Use this format for captions: ''Figure X''. Descriptive caption goes here in sentence casing. [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter/Figures|See example]].
### Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text using APA style
### Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text. Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., "(see Figure 1)"; do not use bold, italics, check and correct capitalisation).
### Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., "(see Figure 1)")
### Some image uploads were removed because of a lack of sufficient/appropriate copyright information
### Numbering needs correcting
### Increase some image sizes to make them easier to read
<!-- Written expression – Tables -->
## Tables
### Table captions use APA style or wiki style
### Use APA style for captions ([[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter/Tables|see example]])
### Add an APA style caption to each table
### Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text using APA style
### Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text
### Refer to each Table using APA style (e.g., do not use bold, talics, check and correct capitalisation)
### Refer to each Table at least once within the main text (e.g., see Table 1)
<!-- Written expression – Citations -->
## Citations use excellent [https://apastyle.apa.org/products/publication-manual-7th-edition APA Style (7th ed.)]
## Citations use very good/good/reasonably good/basic/poor [https://apastyle.apa.org/products/publication-manual-7th-edition APA Style (7th ed.)]. To improve:
### If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
#### in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
#### in [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]] (Smith et al., 2020)
### Do not include author first name or initials
### Use ampersand (&) inside [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]] and "and" outside parentheses
### List multiple citations in alphabetical order by first author surname
### Multiple citations for a single point should be listed alphabetically in the same set of parentheses separated by a semi-colon; see example (Aardvark, 2020; Zebra & Yak, 2024)
### A full stop is needed after "et al" (i.e., "et al.") because it is an abbreviation of [[wikt:et alii|et alii]]
### Use a comma between the author(s) and year for citations in [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]]
### Select up to a maximum of three citations per point (i.e., avoid citing four or more citations to support a single point)
### Check and correct placement of full-stops
### Move embedded links to peer reviewed sources into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#References|References]] as APA style citations with hyperlinked dois
### Move embedded links to non-peer reviewed sources into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#External links|External links]] section; only cite peer-reviewed sources
<!-- Written expression – References -->
## References use excellent/very good/good/reasonably good/basic/poor APA style:
### Check and correct use of capitalisation[https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/capitalization]
### Check and correct use of italicisation
### Separate page numbers using an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
### Include hyperlinked dois
### Provide the full titles of journals
### Remove "Retrieved from "
### Move non-peer reviewed sources into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#External links|External links]] section
### Use hanging indent (fixed)
|8=
<!-- Learning features comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient use of learning features
<!-- Learning features – Wikipedia embedded links -->
# Excellent use of embedded in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] to Wikipedia articles
# Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/One use of embedded in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See [[Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Nutrition and anxiety|example]].
# Use [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] (rather than external links) to Wikipedia articles, per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
# No use of embedded in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See [[Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Nutrition and anxiety|example]].
<!-- Learning features – Wikiversity embedded links -->
# Excellent use of embedded in-text links to related [[Motivation and emotion/Book|book chapters]]
# Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/One/No use of embedded in-text links to related [[Motivation and emotion/Book|book chapters]]. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
# Use in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]], rather than external links to Wikiversity chapters, per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
# Move links to non-peer-reviewed sources to the [[{{PAGENAME}}#External links|External links]] section
<!-- Learning features – Figures, tables, feature boxes, scenarios -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient/No use of figure(s)
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient/No use of table(s)
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient/No use of feature box(es)
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient/No use of scenarios, case studies, or examples
<!-- Learning features – Quizzes -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/No use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s)
# The quiz questions could be improved by being more focused on the key points and/or take-home messages
# The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than as a set of questions at the end
<!-- Learning features – See also -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/No use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
## Use bullet points per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Rename links per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Use internal linking style per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Also include links to related book chapters
## Also include links to related Wikipedia articles
## Use [https://www.masterclass.com/articles/sentence-case-explained sentence casing]
## Use alphabetical order
## Include sources in [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]] after the link
## Move peer-reviewed articles into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#References|References]] section and cite
## Move external links into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#References|External links]] section
## Add more links
# Not counted for marking purposes due to being over the maximum word count
<!-- Learning features – External links -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/No use of external links in the "External links" section
## Use bullet points per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Rename links per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Use [https://www.masterclass.com/articles/sentence-case-explained sentence casing]
## Use alphabetical order
## Include sources in [[w:Bracket#Parentheses|parentheses]] after the link
## Move peer-reviewed articles into the [[{{PAGENAME}}#References|References]] section and cite
## Target an international audience
## Add more links
# Not counted for marking purposes due to being over the maximum word count
|9=
<!-- Social contribution comments... -->
# ~ logged, useful, mostly minor/moderate/major contributions with direct links to evidence
# Thanks very much for your extensive contributions
# ~ logged contributions without [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter#Making and summarising contributions|direct links to evidence]], so unable to easily verify and assess. See [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials|tutorials]] for guidance about how to get direct links to evidence.
# Contributions made across three platforms
# Use a numbered list per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
# No logged contributions
}}
~~~~

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