Sambandam: Difference between revisions

Content deleted Content added

Inline

Revision as of 18:08, 27 February 2021

Sambandham was an informal mode of marriage followed by Nairs, Samantha Kshatriya and Ambalavasis with Nambudiris, in what is the present day state of Kerala, India.^[1] All of these were matrilineal communities. The custom is no longer observed. Alternate names for the system were used by different social groups and in different regions;^[2] they included Pudavamuri, Pudavakoda, Vastradanam, Vitaram Kayaruka, Mangalam and Uzhamporukkuka.

Practice

Among Nairs

In Nair marriages, first there was the mock marriage or 'Thalikettu Kalyanam'. In this ritual the ‘groom’ would tie a necklace or Thali to Nair girls before they attain puberty and stayed in the girl’s house for a certain number of days until celebrations lasted. If there were multiple girls in a Tharavad, then one ‘groom’ may tie Thali to all those girls in a single event. After this ritual, the ‘groom’ may leave the home and may never come back. The girl also had no reason to keep the Thali, she may remove it if she wished to. Talikettu Kalyanam was also practiced by other castes, but the Nair version is unique since there was no obligation for the ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ to spend the rest of their lives with each other. This ‘mock marriage’ was to ensure the fertility of the girls once they go through puberty and the role of the ‘groom’ was purely ritualistic in nature. But today, Thalikettu Kalyanam refers to standard marriage and Thali is a symbol of the chastity of a woman towards their husband, though such a concept was nonexistent during old times. If the family couldn’t arrange a ‘groom’ then the mother of the girl herself would tie the Thali to the girl, with a sword or an idol as representing the groom.

After Thalikettu, during her first menstruation, there was another event named Thirandu Kalyanam. This was to celebrate the menstruation of the girl and her attainment of puberty.

After both these events, once the girl attains maturity, she had the liberty to choose her ‘real’ groom who would be her husband. If she wishes she could also take the person who tied the Thali earlier as her husband. This union was known as Sambandham, which was a simple event that included handing over of the cloths to the bride by the groom. After that, the wife stays in her maternal home and the husband would become a visitor to her. Nair women would also have hypergamous unions with royal men, Brahmins and other higher-ranking Nair subcastes. It is to be noted that divorce was easy in Sambandham unions. The wife and husband may freely break the relationship and move on to another partner. This was adopted to suit the military life of Nairs, so that if the husband dies in a battle, the wife can move on and avoid widowhood. Though in many cases, Sambandham indeed lasted throughout life. Any children born in Sambandham unions stayed with the mother’s family and inherited the mother’s property. They had no say in their father’s property. It is also to be noted that even though second marriage after divorce is allowed, it was looked down upon and didn’t involve celebrations as the first marriage, as the 1891 Madras census says:

“Sambandham is, strictly speaking, dissoluble at the will of either party without any formal ceremony being gone through for the purpose, but that will is controlled by public opinion which views with disfavour divorces made for trivial reasons. In cases of divorce, the children always go with their mother. Their legal guardian is their uncle, or karanavan (managing member) of the mother’s house. Both widows and divorced women are allowed to remarry, but the second and subsequent marriages of women are not celebrated with even as much formality as the first marriage. The man goes to the woman’s house with friends, and giving her betel-leaves and nut or dresses, takes her to wife.” ^[3]

Among Nambudhiri Brahmins

Among the Nambudhiri's, the eldest son was only allowed to marry a brahmin women and make an inheritor to the family's property. The remaining younger sons had sambandam relationships with the Nair women,the elder sons also had sambandham relationships with Nair women along with their brahmin wives.^[4] Since, the brahmin man was considered more ritually pure than his sambandam Nair wife, he could not touch her or her children or eat in her house during the day-time while he was in a state of ritual purity.^[5]

Malabar marriage act

Act IV of the Malabar Marriage Act, 1896, defined Sambandham as "an alliance between a man and a woman, by reason of which they, in accordance with the custom of the community to which they belong, or to which either of them belongs, cohabit or intend to cohabit as husband and wife."^{[citation needed]}

References

^ Fuller, C. J. (30 December 1976). The Nayars Today. CUP Archive. ISBN 978-0-521-29091-3.
^ Kodoth, Praveena (May 2001). "Courting Legitimacy or Delegitimizing Custom? Sexuality, Sambandham and Marriage Reform in Late Nineteenth-Century Malabar". Modern Asian Studies. 35 (2): 351. doi:10.1017/s0026749x01002037. JSTOR 313121. PMID 18481401.
^ https://www.indiafacts.org.in/archives/on-the-nair-community-of-kerala-and-their-sambandham-system/
^ Thomas Johnson Nossiter (1 January 1982). Communism in Kerala: A Study in Political Adaptation. University of California Press. p. 26. ISBN 978-0-520-04667-2.
^ Collins, Randall; Randall, Collins; Collins, Professor of Sociology Randall; Collins, Randall Alfred (28 February 1986). Weberian Sociological Theory. Cambridge University Press. pp. 300, 301. ISBN 978-0-521-31426-8.

Moore, Melinda. "Symbol and Meaning in Nayar Marriage Ritual." American Ethnologist. 15 (1998) 254–273
Gough, K. (1961) Nayar: Central Kearla, in Schneider, D. M. & Gough, K. (Eds.) Matrilineal Kinship. Berkeley & Los Angeles, p298-404
Karl, R. (2003) Women in Practice: A Comparative Analysis of Gender and Sexuality in India. 2003 Marleigh Grayer Ryan Student Prize ; Moore, M. (1998) Symbol and Meaning in Nayar Marriage Ritual, American Ethnologist 15:254-73
Damodar Dharmanand Kosambi (1975) An Introduction to the Study of Indian History.
Dirks, Nicholas. "Homo Hierarchies: Origins of an Idea." Castes of Mind. Princeton: Princeton University Press 2001.

[1] Fuller, C. J. (30 December 1976). The Nayars Today. CUP Archive. ISBN 978-0-521-29091-3.

[Kodoth2001p350-2] Kodoth, Praveena (May 2001). "Courting Legitimacy or Delegitimizing Custom? Sexuality, Sambandham and Marriage Reform in Late Nineteenth-Century Malabar". Modern Asian Studies. 35 (2): 351. doi:10.1017/s0026749x01002037. JSTOR 313121. PMID 18481401.

[3] ttps://www.indiafacts.org.in/archives/on-the-nair-community-of-kerala-and-their-sambandham-system/

[Nossiter1982-4] Thomas Johnson Nossiter (1 January 1982). Communism in Kerala: A Study in Political Adaptation. University of California Press. p. 26. ISBN 978-0-520-04667-2.

[5] Collins, Randall; Randall, Collins; Collins, Professor of Sociology Randall; Collins, Randall Alfred (28 February 1986). Weberian Sociological Theory. Cambridge University Press. pp. 300, 301. ISBN 978-0-521-31426-8.

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

@@ Line 17: / Line 17: @@
 === Among Nambudhiri Brahmins ===
-Among the [[Nambudiri|Nambudhiri]]'s, the eldest son was only allowed to marry a brahmin women and make an inheritor to the family's property. The remaining younger sons had sambandam relationships with the Nair women,the elder sons also had sambandham relationships with Nair women along with their brahmin wives.The Brahmins considered this as [[concubinage]] because of their paternal lineage and the Nairs however considered this as legitimate marriages because their lineage passed in a maternal line.<ref name="Nossiter1982">{{cite book|author=Thomas Johnson Nossiter|title=Communism in Kerala: A Study in Political Adaptation|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=8CSQUxVjjWQC&pg=PR13|date=1 January 1982|publisher=University of California Press|isbn=978-0-520-04667-2|page=26}}</ref> Since, the brahmin man was considered more [[ritually pure]] than his sambandam Nair wife, he could not touch her or her children or eat in her house during the day-time while he was in a state of ritual purity.<ref>{{Cite book|last1=Collins|first1=Randall|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=v39x_fKR-ykC&q=sambandham%20namboodiri%20nair%20sex&pg=PA300|title=Weberian Sociological Theory|last2=Randall|first2=Collins|last3=Collins|first3=Professor of Sociology Randall|last4=Collins|first4=Randall Alfred|date=1986-02-28|publisher=Cambridge University Press|isbn=978-0-521-31426-8|pages=300,301|language=en}}</ref>
+Among the [[Nambudiri|Nambudhiri]]'s, the eldest son was only allowed to marry a brahmin women and make an inheritor to the family's property. The remaining younger sons had sambandam relationships with the Nair women,the elder sons also had sambandham relationships with Nair women along with their brahmin wives.<ref name="Nossiter1982">{{cite book|author=Thomas Johnson Nossiter|title=Communism in Kerala: A Study in Political Adaptation|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=8CSQUxVjjWQC&pg=PR13|date=1 January 1982|publisher=University of California Press|isbn=978-0-520-04667-2|page=26}}</ref> Since, the brahmin man was considered more [[ritually pure]] than his sambandam Nair wife, he could not touch her or her children or eat in her house during the day-time while he was in a state of ritual purity.<ref>{{Cite book|last1=Collins|first1=Randall|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=v39x_fKR-ykC&q=sambandham%20namboodiri%20nair%20sex&pg=PA300|title=Weberian Sociological Theory|last2=Randall|first2=Collins|last3=Collins|first3=Professor of Sociology Randall|last4=Collins|first4=Randall Alfred|date=1986-02-28|publisher=Cambridge University Press|isbn=978-0-521-31426-8|pages=300,301|language=en}}</ref>
 == Malabar marriage act ==