Mat 30, 1885.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

253

Owner (pointing to Pure Bull). “There, Old Chappie, if I could
tind a Woman as well-built as that, bt Joye, I’d Marry her ! ”

OUR COPY OF THE INVENTORIES.

Second Landing. Military and Sporting Weapons.

..Haying a “Season Admission,” it is unnecessary to take more
tnan an ordinary railway ticket to South Kensington, and then trust

to your own invention to
get past the man who
guards the turnstile at
the end of the Subway.
This opens a large field
for imagination, as failure
entails either the fine of a
penny or a human present
to the Police. Perhaps the
best mode is to engage
(with the assistance of an
accomplice) the attention
of the whole of the staff
to the fancied appearance
of an imaginary balloon,
while you rapidly pass
tt . through the barriers.

aving done this, you feel that “ done” is the proper word for the
occasion, and should be happy.

i+o (.e?terin? the Exhibition by the Subway you avoid the hall with
flnTo-St • Ue t°^ H.R.H. gaily cantering through a small forest of
it if enn^ shrubs, and yet this should not cause you deep regret. If
Milft68’ a38Ua£e your grief by inspecting the magnificent collection of
Rovo?1”/ "Porting "Weapons supplied by the Royal Arsenal, the
hrp.lnL ,aooratory, and.other amusing exhibitors. A nice serviceable
tbo ,.'loa<iing 8-inch gun immediately attracts your attention as
Offip; fffv ,tlur|g in weapons in the Southern Gallery. As the
toVn (-/atal°gue is large enough to be confusing, it is better to trust
your own common sense for an explanation. Looking at this very
nne specimen, which seems to be “laid” upon the hall dock, you
inf16a j conclusion that it must be an implement of sport

hub a ^0r “ Mg game.” Had you to meet a lion or a tiger, as a
nsband, a father, and a subscriber to an insurance company, you

Complete Sportsman’s Equipment
(French Department.)

would certainly rest satisfied with nothing smaller. It could be
easily carried by a couple of braces or so of trained elephants, and if
fired by electricity (say at five miles’ distance from the object aimed
at), should be a most useful fowling-piece. At close quarters there
is nothing to prevent you from entering the gun bodily and defying
the enemy from the muzzle. But the Royal Engineers, always
ready to oblige, have gone yet farther to anticipate the desires of a
keen sportsman, and have supplied him with a balloon, which may
be used as a means of escape should the lion or tiger become too
exigeant.

Not far from these “Weapons” is a fish-torpedo, no doubt
intended for the capture of the wily salmon, the interesting minnow,
or the (comparatively) silly whale. A section of this charming little
exhibit is shown, including “the Secret Chamber,” which, of course,
piques your euriosity. However, it is so generally well-known ho w a
torpedo is propelled, that it would be mere waste of time to explain
so open a “ secret.” For the sake of country cousins, it may be
hinted that the “Chamber” contains a fly-wheel, a flat leather
band, some cogs, a 4-inch pulley, a common C spring, and six pounds
of the best brass nails. Given these articles, and the simplest zany
will be able to solve the so-called “ mystery.” For all that, the idea
is a clever one, and the inventor deserves the warmest commendation.

Not far from “ the Tiger Escaper ” is Mr. Nordf.nfeldt’s excellent
“ pheasant-destroyer.” This clever little weapon (it can’t weigh more
than half-a-dozen tons) is excellently adapted to the modern battue,
as it should easily knock over a thousand brace in a score of minutes.
To the short-sighted Sportsman it should be invaluable, as by a
mechanical contrivance the Nordenfeldt can be so trained that it
shall “cover” everything living within a range of three miles.
Close to this pretty little weapon is a model of Colonel Moncrleff’s
Hydro-pneumatic Carriage, a vehicle specially adapted to the needs
of invalids. No country-house or shooting-box should be without
one.

Having got thus far in “ the Inventions,” the thirster after know-
ledge will no doubt require refreshment. And now he will meet
with his first disappointment. Remembering the site of the dining-
rooms of 1884 ana the previous year, he will turn his steps to the
south, and find, to his deep disgust, that the space then selected
for “ Food, and its Consumption,” has this Season been devoted to
the exhibition of “ Improved Agricultural Implements.” He will
come to the conclusion that the Inventions thus forced upon his
attention are feeble, uncalled-for, nay, even impertinent. Having
arrived at this unprejudiced opinion, he will hurry away, and, a few
minutes later, discover the object of his search. And here (at the
soup, fish, and joint meal) we will leave him with the explanatory
remark that the plan of the present Exhibition differs only from the
Healtheries in these respects,—that what was last year something or
other is now something else, and that it is perfectly easy to master
the plan of the building if you are good at guessingjmzzles, and have
in your possession a “ tossing sixpenoe ” with which to decide difficult
points.


Ceremony of taking Inventors before a Jury.

Ben Trovato.

“ Affectation tells here even better than wit,”

Said Dizzy, at Malta. How Ben would have smiled
At late proofs that the “ Popular Popinjay ” fit
Had extended to London. Ask Whistler or Wilde !

Exit in Fumo.—It is beginning to be feared that the much-talked-
of European Concert is a “ Smoking-Conoert.”. At any rate, it seems
only too likely to end in smoke, while) its pipe at present does not
look like the Pipe of Peace.

VOL. LXXXVTII.

z