March 14, 1885.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

121

11 "Sr-;

^b

EXPERIENTIA DOCET.

“ Send her at it ! You must go over ! ’

[.And so he did.

“LAUGHTER IN COURT.”

“ Mr. Pickwick envied the facility with which Mr. Peter
Magnus’ friends were amused.”—Dickens.

Scene—Any Court. Time—Any Trial.

Q. C. "What sort of a night was it F
Witness. It was dark. (Laughter.)

Judge. My learned friend hardly expected the night to
be light, I should think. (Laughter.)

Junior. Perhaps m’ Lud, the learned Counsel was
thinking of a nightlight. (Roars of laughter.)

Q. C. Well, we ’ll take it that it was a dark night.
You went out for a stroll F

Witness. Wo, I went for a walk.

Judge. At any rate the witness was walking about.
Witness. No, my Lord, I wasn’t walking a “ bout.” I
was walking fast. (Great laughter.)

Q. C. You were walking fast. Now did you see
anything F

Witness. I saw the prisoner.

Q. C. Well, tell us what he was doing.

Witness. He was doing nothing. (Laughter.)

Judge. How did he do it F (Renewed laughter.)
Witness. Very busily, my Lord. (Laughter.)

Junior. Like a briefless Barrister, m’ Lud. (Roars of
laughter.)

Q. C. Did he continue to do nothing long F
Witness. Wo; he soon seemed to get tired of it.

Q. C. What did he do then F
Witness. He went into a public-house.

Q. C. What for ?

Judge. What does my learned friend go into a public-
house for P (Great laughter.)

Q. C. Will you answer my question P
Witness. He went for some rum-shrub.

Q. C. (proud of his acquaintance with slang, and with
u Knowing look towards the Junior (Bar). It was avery
rum plant ” the Prisoner was engaged on.

[Shrieks of laughter, during which the Court rose,
being too convulsed to transact any f urther business.

REAYLLY.

“Who’s the new Governor of Bombay?”—“Lord
Reay.” “Who?”—“Reay.” Both (delighted). Hoo-ray!

[Exeunt on the road to Colney Hatch.

Question of Degree.—Is the Russian Envoy, M. ee
Lessaar, a “ persona grata ? ”

It is pleasini
the sncoess or
tion” at

EAR! EAR!

ig to note that those who will he held responsible for
— the reverse of the forthcoming “Inventions Exhibi-
— South Kensington, are evidently already thoroughly on
' Ve™e- Indeed, several features of the undertaking—notably
m. fh <vl)!j;r^meivk devoted to Music—appear to have been conceived
ArasAand daring as surprising as they are original. To begin
with, there is to be a Grand Hall of refuge, to which any visitor who
nas been suddenly struck by the outward appearance of an exhibited
instrument—an Ophicleide, for instance—will be able to hurry off
together with the Inventor and a friend to blow it, and test its
capabilities to the fullest extent, without being stopped by the
Mcluslori ^°r Presence °I rival purchasers, in comparative

' ®2?eProvIsionof the kind,” says the report, “was necessary,
T^h?' f Council have drawn up a regulation intended to save the
r ubim Irom the din and discord of a continuous attack from the
wnoie hne of Pianos, Trumpets, Drums, Concertinas, Cymbals,
ivongs, Dassi, and harmonised Fog Signals, with which the Central
Rt+Wv almost inconveniently crowded.”

there may he no mistake at least about the physical effects
i rue _ power of sound,” the Council have, with much quaint humour,
etennined ‘ on one day in each week to relax this rule,” pon-
eivrng, as they put it, “ that on that day persons of sensitive
o^aE1Sa^0n® 'will hardly approach the Central Gallery, unless,”—
na here is the quiet and subtle fun of the regulation,—“ they do so
quite by inadvertence.”

If. la

not only will this

it is not astonishing, after this, to hear that „ -

?ai?® Central Gallery contain, in addition, “ six great pipe-organs,”
but that the Council, by way of making sure that their petite ruse
de bruit shall not fail, intend also to scatter “ at least half-a-dozen
other large and heavily-piped organs ” freely about the building in

its most unsuspected quarters. The details of the Deaf and probably
Dumb Asylum that must inevitably be called into requisition by tbis
portion of tbe programme of the Council, are not yet publicly
announced, but that there will be erected somewhere in the grounds
a handsome and well-endowed Institution of the kind provided with
an efficient staff of distinguished aurists, goes without saying. But
we shall hope later literally to “hear” something more of this
practical, spirited, and thoroughly jocose enterprise.

“ Bless you,—you Know what I Mean.”—The case of Lusby's
Music Hall v. Mr. Charrington,—not a Mr. Cheeringtone, to judge
by the way he used to speak of the unfortunate Lusby’s,—was heard
before Mr. Justice Chitty. The Defendant had eireulated a leaflet

headed, “ This way to the Pit of-”•—well, a word never mentioned

in polite society, hut synonymous with Tartarus. Would he have
been within his right if, instead of relying on his imagination, he
had simply headed his pamphlet, “ This way to the pit”—as a sort
of advertisement for Lusby’s Music Hall ? This question was not
put to the learned Judge, who gave a sort of six-of-one-and-half-a-
dozen-of-t’other decision, which, however, will have the effect of
checking the enthusiasm of Mr. Charrington.

Scott v. Spicer.—Something peculiarly spicey being expected,
the Court was crowded with fashionable persons, and after all—there
was no trial. How provoking—for that audience! Worse than
Sims Reeves disappointing a ball full of admirers at the last
moment. Yet it was appropriate that a ease which arose out of
courting should be settled “ out of Court.”

The Russians have been advancing gradually, but now, they’ve
got to Akrobat, they may come on with a leap and a bound.

Tor'- Lxxxvm.