Does the 'Abbott Elementary' Cast Really Know Each Other?

What is the name of my book?

3, 2, 1.

[All] She Memes Well

I didn't write it down, but yes, that is true.

Yes

Sorry Chris.

[upbeat organ music]

Hello I'm Chris Perfetti.

[laughing]

I'm Lisa Ann Walter, using my real voice.

I'm William Stanford Davis, I'm also using my real voice.

I'm Sheryl Lee Ralph, and I'm not using my real voice.

I'm Quinta Brunson

[all laughing]

We're the cast of Abbott Elementary.

We're gonna test

how well we know each other with Vanity Fair.

Yeah.

See how well we know each other? Or don't.

Okay, suckers. My first question for you is,

what is my favorite episode of Abbott Elementary?

I know what that answer is.

Can I go first?

Stan?

No, can I go first? I said I know it first.

Stan?

Yeah, of course, Sheryl.

Desking.

Woo!

Thank you.

I also knew the answer.

I knew the answer to that too.

Okay.

My next question...

What is your favorite color?

....close. If I were a cocktail, what would I be?

This one I don't know the answer to.

Hmm...

Oh, a dirty Manhattan.

This is like a Baba Wawa question.

Would be a dirty Manhattan?

Like the one with olive in it?

Like a dirty...

That's gross.

That's gross? Okay.

A Manhattan has a cherry.

Yeah.

You can't put a cherry and an olive in a drink.

[Chris buzzing]

[Chris] Time's up.

Okay wait, I wanna guess, Prosecco.

No. No.

I don't know.

I'm gonna guess...

We're a really cohesive bunch.

I'm gonna guess Paloma.

Ooh, I should have guessed Paloma. Paloma! Paloma!

How the hell did you know that?

Yes!

Okay that's cheating.

Yeah. A delicious Paloma.

Paloma.

Next.

[Lisa] I don't believe you.

There's no way you will get this

because I definitely haven't told you,

but what was my first job?

[Lisa] Okay.

[Sheryl] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I really, I think that you were a...

A barista.

...you were a...

Starbucks barista.

Shut up!

Thank you!

Thanks Vanity Fair, I'm Chris Perfetti.

[playful organ music]

Oh, Lord have mercy.

All right.

My first question is,

how old was I when I first graduated from college?

I'm gonna say.

Go ahead.

I'm gonna say 19.

[Sheryl] What are you going to say?

When you graduated from college?

Wait. From college.

College.

19.

Not high school, college.

People graduate when they're 22.

Yeah, 21 I'm changing my answer.

21, 22.

What would you say, sir?

30.

[Sheryl laughing]

30. I'm only 30 now darling. I'm 30 now.

Seriously, I'm gonna say 21.

21. Yeah.

And Lisa, what say you?

19

19?

Yeah.

And the winner is Miss Lisa Anne Walter.

[Quinta] How?

I was 19 years old.

[Quinta] How?

I went into college at 16.

Oh, I'm sorry.

And I figured out quickly what you needed to do.

You needed to go to class, complete the task.

That was it.

Go to class. Complete the task.

What? When did you get drunk

and sleep through first period?

No getting drunk, I was too young.

How old were you when you started kindergarten?

Four.

Me too.

[Sheryl] There you go.

But how come I didn't, all right.

All right, here we are, because I love weddings.

How many bridesmaids were in my second bridal party?

My no.

Oh second, second.

Oh dang it. That's not fair.

Hold on.

I know the picture. I can see the picture in my head.

Judge Maybeline.

Who's guessing first?

There was Jennifer Louis.

[all exclaiming]

Bridesmaids. Second wedding.

Gonna say, I'm looking at the picture in my head.

I'm gonna say, 8, cuz 10 seems like too much.

[William] 8.

12

What?

12.

What do you say?

Well, you named four, so I'm gonna say four.

What say you?

8.

And you are all incorrect.

The perfect number was 10.

Dammit, I was gonna say 10.

10, 10, 10s across the board.

I thought that was too much.

10 is never too much.

I heard you.

[Lisa] I had 12.

[William] I thought 8 was too much.

All right, let's see, next.

What role did I debut on Broadway?

[all groaning]

Come on, let's go first.

Wait, what's the role?

Dream Girls. I know I need the role.

Dream Girls.

Oh my God.

Her name is...

Oh God, my brain. Come on help me.

Oh no no. Oh my God.

Come on now.

Why? It's like, Sherry or Sunshine or..

All I'm getting is Effy and it's not Effy, sorry.

[Sheryl] It's not Effy.

Come on guys.

Can I have my phone?

Seriously, no for real.

Like I can't get name.

You say Dream Girls?

Yeah, but I know that you know the name.

You don't know the role.

No, I do, but gimme a second.

A character in Dream Girls you're saying.

Yes.

No, it's not that.

Wait a second. Hold on.

This is a trick question.

[Chris laughing]

This is a trick question.

Very good Vanity Fair.

This is a trick question.

Okay, go back.

Can you ask the question again please?

What role did I debut on Broadway?

Did you debut as in,

you were the person who presented the role

or what role was your first role?

I did, what was it?

Her first Broadway role.

That, I don't know.

Me neither.

I actually made my Broadway debut

in a musical called Reggae,

and I replaced the leading lady

and had 10 days before the show opened,

and I opened on Broadway with a script in my hand.

We opened the day of the transit strike

and closed the day of the garbage strike.

[all chuckling]

But in the audience on that closing day was Tom Irons.

Who said to me, I have an idea for your next show.

And that was

[All] Dream Girl.

There you go.

[clapping]

[playful organ music]

Here you go baby, you need this.

Oh, thank you very much.

You're welcome welcome.

Okay, you guys ready?

[William] Ready.

[Lisa] Yes.

Right. I had a terrifying encounter

with which famous magician.

Do not yell it out, please.

But why was it terrifying?

I don't know, but I have a guess.

All right you guys can guess.

David Blaine.

Anybody else wanna guess?

David Copperfield.

Copperfield.

I would've guessed David Blaine too,

but because it's already covered,

I'm gonna go with Chris Angel.

Oh, that's a good guess.

Good one.

It was America's David Blaine.

[clapping]

Good job guys.

[Quinta] David Blaine.

He put a photo in my phone that I didn't take.

He bit my wine glass.

What?

He put a stamp on my hand.

It was a really terrifying experience.

I don't want to talk about it.

I saw you talk about it on a show, I didn't think of that.

Magic is real.

Right.

What was my first job in LA?

Buzzfeed.

Anybody else wanna guess?

I do.

[Quinta] Yes.

You worked at the Apple Store.

Anybody else wanna guess?

Ooh!

I wanna go Apple Store too.

I see her as a Techy.

Yeah.

I think you were at the Smart Bar.

[William] Yeah.

She did do Smart Bar.

Genius bar.

It's not the Smart Bar?

[Chris laughing]

I give up.

That was a literal joke in the second episode.

You just Barbara-ed yourself.

I just Barbara-ed myself, oh God.

Ready?

Okay, Genius Bar.

Apple.

[all cheering]

We listen to you!

A family room specialist.

Fixes phones and iPads and, what's it called, iPods.

But you still won't fix ours when they mess up.

I try.

Okay, this one's easy

and I think you should all shout it out at the same time.

Okay, go ahead.

What is the name of my book?

3, 2, 1.

[All] She Memes Well!

No, I didn't write it down,

but yes that is true that is the name of my book.

Yeah.

I'm sorry Chris

Who is my celebrity height twin?

Stephanie Mills

Kevin Hart.

[all laughing]

Kevin Heart's a good answer.

First of all, not Kevin Hart.

Sorry Kev.

Stephanie Mills is short?

Oh, she's tiny.

Yeah, she is, really.

Yeah. She's really small.

Okay.

She had to look like a little girl.

Yeah.

Can you give us a hint?

Oh wait, she was a little girl then.

Is it Oh, oh, oh.

Is it, is it, is it...

is it Glinda? Glinda.

No

Glinda.

Glinda?

Oh, Kristin Chenoweth.

[Sheryl And Lisa] Kristin Chenoweth.

That's a good answer.

What? Is it Chenoweth?

Wow!

[cheering]

I'm so shocked you got that.

You know.

No one ever gets that.

Yeah. She's the same height as me.

That makes sense. That makes sense.

I just looked her up when I was like

is anyone else really, really, really

really short in Hollywood?

She's so teeny.

Holly Hunter is very small too.

I just thought she probably saw you somewhere

and then ran next to you and stood next to you

and went, We're the same height.

In that voice.

Haven't met her yet.

I would love to meet her.

She'll come and find you.

You'll meet her.

She's very sweet.

All right.

Thank you. Good luck.

[upbeat organ music]

[Sheryl] You have the marker darling?

Oh, yes.

[Sheryl] There you are.

This is, I don't even know this.

What is my hidden talent?

Oh, I know.

Yeah.

You ready?

Yeah.

Do you want us to say it?

You are cuisina cook, a kitchen Cook.

Oh yeah. That's a good one.

You're a cook, yes.

Zucchini Bread.

That's a good one. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

You sing. You're a singer.

Aww. Thank you.

[sobs]

Oh My God. Lisa, what are your answers?

What is your answer?

Ballroom dancing.

[All] Oh!

Does it count?

Just going ballroom dancing.

Okay, good.

Oh, this is a good one.

Who's my favorite standup comedian?

Yourself.

[laughing]

Living or...

Any.

Favorite? Rivers.

Joan Rivers.

[All] Yes!

Joan River.

That's your guess?

That's what I was gonna say, Joan Rivers.

Is it a man or a woman?

Man.

I could pick a favorite female obviously

but for this purposes, man.

Oh, I know...

One who made me wanna be a comic.

See who I thought it was...

Rodney Dangerfield.

Oh my God.

I'm gonna go, It might not be right

but I'm gonna go Robin Williams.

Pryor.

[all exclaiming]

I was gonna say Richard Pryor.

What is a cause that I am passionate about?

Politics.

[Quinta] Politics.

Okay, but you specifics.

[Sheryl] Specific?

Yeah.

Women's...

Women's rights.

Women's and reproductive rights.

[cheering]

You guys know me.

Oh, I'm not even gonna do it.

Everybody shout it at once.

What movie role am I most often recognized for?

[All] Parent Trap!

Chessy.

That's right.

Stand the Man.

[playful organ music]

This is a very easy one.

I'll be the judge of that.

What was my favorite line from the show?

That's trash!

I had three, but what's my favorite?

That's how you run the world kids.

I'm still gonna go, that's trash.

I can't pick one for him though.

I mean, she got some big feet.

Sweet baby Jesus and the grown one too.

[all exclaiming]

[laughing]

Oh, no.

Trick question.

Sweet baby and the grown one too.

Okay. What baseball team am I a fan of?

The Dodgers?

Yeah. I'm not gonna go with...

Oh, he said, uuuuh.

Okay, shoot.

Hey Stan, where are you from?

I'm from St. Louis.

The Cardinals?

Yes. Yes.

The Cardinals.

It's not some random guest to say The Cardinals.

Yeah, okay.

[Quinta] So it is?

The Cardinals.

Okay it is.

Okay. What do I do to relax?

Sleep.

Smoke a Cigar.

Cigar?

That's close.

You sit outside.

It's close.

I don't know.

I've seen video of him salsa dancing on the back patio too.

I know.

I was dancing and smoking a cigar.

I play golf.

[all groaning]

I didn't even know that.

Oh, wait a minute, you said you don't,

are you still playing?

I mean, when I play, I play.

All right so we're gonna go out an hit that nine hole,

over on Wednesday.

I didn't know that.

None of you are gonna get this,

what was the name of the band that I was in?

I knew it.

The Temptations.

I knew it.

It's a little known secret.

I knew you were in a band.

I did not know it, therefore I do not know the name.

What's the name of it?

The name of it? I'm just gonna come up and make up...

Metallica.

[laughing]

Okay. The Parliament Funkadelic

Close.

Oh really?

Parliament Funkadelic is close?

Yeah.

Well, Confunction.

No.

Is it a band that that made a few records?

Or was it a smaller...

Is it a smaller local band?

[Chris] Underground.

Opened for a lot of major acts.

But close to Parliament kind of sound.

Maybe the name is close to Parliament.

Like you could be like the House of Representatives.

I'll give you a hint.

That's a great name for a band.

There's a famous studio here in Los Angeles...

The Paramounts.

That's the name of the...

Oh wow!

[all cheering]

The Paramounts. Yeah!

It was the Fabulous Paramount Review.

We had three female singers.

We had four guys.

We had a big band.

And I was the was the Star.

Oh!

[clapping]

This is giving Mr. Johnson big time.

Yes it is!

[laughing]

That is the storyline we would have wrote for Mr. Johnson.

Yes!

He just named the band The Paramounts.

We opened for The OJs.

We opened for James Brown.

[Sheryl] Oh wow.

We opened for a lot of lot of people

that came to St. Louis.

[Sheryl] Oh wow.

That's awesome.

Lot old groups.

Very cool.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's it.

Oh, that was it.

That was fun.

I learned a ton.

That was crazy.

I didn't know

that you were favorite comedian was Richard Pryor.

My first albums that I bought with my own money were

George Carlin's Class Clown.

That's what I was gonna guess was George Carlin.

But I was given Richard Pryor

because back then you couldn't buy his albums

if you were under a certain age.

And I had a high listening to those

and then I started repeating

all of his material to my mother.

Of course you did.

And it made her laugh.

And then I was like, Oh I can talk dirty

if I just say it's comedy.

No

[All] Thank you Vanity Fair!

And now, class dismissed.

[cheering]

[William laughing]

[Sheryl] My whole stack went that way.