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Reviews
Squid Game: The Challenge (2023)
How to randomly give away 4.56 million dollars
Well its basically all completely random, none of the challenges require any real skill the vast majority are just completely random. Im not sure who this is aimed at, there is no real drama, no real game show elements, just a bunch of unlikeable people who by the time you reach the end you couldnt care less who wins. There are too many people at the start to get any real interest in the characters without using editing that would make it blazingly obvious who is going to end up at the end.
I think most interestingly though is that Netflix has decided that they want to be the evil corporation from the original Squid games, they though hey thats us we should lean into the soulless evil corp that wants to exploit desperate people. Yet this is where we are in the world now, little by little we have eroded and remaining semblance of ethics and this is what we are left with.
Old (2021)
Pretty good
It's actually pretty good, not sure why there are so many angry negative reviews. It does seem like people want to have extreme views rather than balanced ones these days.
It's a light horror, more thought provoking and sad than a horror film. Don't expect to be scared, expect to be thoughtful and to be encouraged to think about your own mortality which is the most distressing part of this film.
It's reasonably well acted, like all movies in this genre it requires a suspension of disbelief but as long as you have that it is very watchable.
A solid 6/10 in the old school rating system here..
Cheat (2023)
Flawed
Well here is another flawed game show. It's not going to last as soon the more smart people will realise the statistical way to win the game and then what's the point. At the moment though it's nice and inclusive giving dumb people a chance to compete in a quiz show which traditionally had to have smart people competing. Now they can roll the dice and see if by luck they can win a competition.
It's marginally amusing until you spot the flaw. I doubt it will be back for a second season unless they deliberately pick dumb people to make sure that they work out how to win every time.
It's a 4/10 in the old school rating system.
Fall (2022)
It hurts
Watching this is starting to hurt, the stress is amazing... not because of the vertigo, or the climbing, but the stupidity...
All of the live for the moment because life is short is so so dumb, so sad if this is an indication of the intelligence of teens these days.
So as far as this review goes, if you want to watch some really dumb kids doing really dumb things then this is the movie for you, but be warned if you have even a little common sense this movie will not sit well with you.
Oh and if you want to climb something high bring some proper safety gear.
This is at best a 3/10 in the old school style of ratings.
Jim Jefferies: High & Dry (2023)
He tries...
But he isn't actually that funny anymore. He really gives it a good go, attempting to be controversial, talking a bit about sex, but honestly there is nothing new here, nothing you haven't heard before many many times.
Like most things these days it's just a money grab aimed at the LCD where mediocrity is all that is needed. He has obviously seen other comedians handling the topics he tries to talk about, but they are far superior, but hey if there is a bandwagon to jump on and Netflix are paying... why not.
I'd give it a generous 4/10 as he tries hard, a participation medal of a rating.. .. ..
Clarkson's Farm (2021)
One of the better shows on tv
Honestly this is one of the better shows on tv these days. It is really showing the problems with trying to do anything with the current bureaucracy these days.
The council are completely out of control and power mad these days stopping all progress. The amount of restraint shown by Clarkson and his crew just trying to constantly do the right thing was amazing.
If you take anything always from this show it should be that the councils are destroying our country these days, and if there is anything we can do to take away their power we should be doing it.
Oh and it's also quite a funny show too...
Spirited (2022)
It's ok
I mean it's alright, it's a pleasant enough movie, you have Will Ferrell being Will Ferrell, and beside him you have Ryan Reynolds being Ryan Reynolds... it's all they know how to do at this point.
So what is it?
It's fine, it's watchable, it will be promoted excessively in an attempt to make it more popular, it's a straight to tv hallmark style manufactured Christmas movie.
So what is it not?
It's not a classic, it's not memorable and you won't watch it more than once, it is never going to be a famous Christmas movie.
It only exists to give people like Will and Ryan a pay check and for Apple to promote it to get their cut from the pliable masses.
Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (2020)
First season is good
After the first season it goes downhill pretty quickly, it changes from a show about a gaming company to a weird kind of soap with random references to gaming.
It's completely loses track of what the show is supposed to be, it's a bit like cougar town when that completely changed after it's first season, except this has no idea what it is trying to be.
There are a bunch of established characters and now they are trying to do a sitcom/drama about their lives, but it just doesn't work, there are random cut scenes of gaming for some reason, it's still like they really have no idea what show they are making anymore.
First season is a good show watch that if you haven't as that's a solid 7/10. Next two seasons though it's just lost so they are a 3/10.
The Watcher (2022)
Doesn't go anywhere
Starts off quite interesting, looks like it might have some potential but then it just doesn't go anywhere... it starts to drag around the middle and then the writers get lost. You can see they don't know what to do or where to take the story. If you make it to the end you are going to be left disappointed and probably a bit annoyed that it wasted your time for a soliton pay off.
So close... Netflix almost made a good show again... but like everything these days it's just some more meaningless time filler garbage written by people who think they have talent but really don't.
A 4/10 is the actual rating for this regardless of what the ridiculous IMDb says it is.
Secret Headquarters (2022)
It's not an Owen Wilson movie
It's a fine kids movie, but it doesn't star Owen Wilson at all, just a cameo level of appearance at best in this. Definitely a bait and switch from the promotional material which is why people are upset.
Luck (2022)
Trying to be Pixar
Unfortunately you can see they are desperately trying to be like Pixar (old Pixar before Disney ruined them) but they don't have the skill or talent to pull it off. So what you are left with is a mediocre nothing film that if it hadn't already been designed for a streaming service would only ever belong on a streaming service.
On a side note, the fact that this has a 6.3 rating really shows you if you advertise enough you can make any piece of garbage popular.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
The best thing about this movie
Is that by comparison it reminds you how amazingly good the first movie really was.
It really is stunning how far cinema has fallen in the last 20-30 years.
Pirate Gold of Adak Island (2022)
I remember when Netflix used to make good shows
The days when Netflix made good shows, giving chances to new directors and writers are long gone. Now they produce absolute garbage in an attempt to make "new content" which is aimed at the lowest common denominator. They no longer care, just want subscriptions from the masses.
This show is just pointless, not a real documentary, just pointless staged trash.
Interceptor (2022)
Garbage
Complete rubbish, I mean everyone knows it's terrible, all the people who made it, all the people who acted in it, everyone who sees it, everyone knows it's terrible. So why on earth do people still pretend like it's good? Are people actually delusional these days?
Honestly just own it and say it's garbage and people might have more respect for you.
Dual (2022)
Is it supposed to be a comedy?
Maybe it's supposed to be dry humour and they just completely failed at that, cause let's face it it's not a thriller or sci fi. What were the notes they gave Karen Gillan? "We need you to give a robotic performance, but do it like your an actress who doesn't know how to act"?
Painful to watch, tedious (very simple) story, nothing interesting or new. I mean it wasn't even interesting to look at, no skilled cinematography, I'm really struggling to find something positive.
It gets two stars, because there are worse movies out there but not many.
Morbius (2022)
It's kind of nothing
Not really much of a plot, nothing much happens. You could describe the 'entire' film in a couple of minutes. It's just some random arbitrary action scenes cobbled together with a bunch of over acting and cgi. Guess that's a movie these days.
The Lost City (2022)
It's romancing the stone...
For the people who remember old movies, this is basically the same premise as the classic rom com romancing the stone, but updated to make sure that the male lead is dumb, weak and less sexist.
Average movie, it's watchable. Nothing unique or interesting, just a generic churned out movie as per usual.
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
We are being trolled by the writers
So they managed to write a terrible ending to the original series and everyone was upset. So after years of people wanting it they came back and decided to continue the series...
And then they write another even worse ending after one season. Says it all about writers these days, no talent left.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Watch this, read the reviews here, be depressed
It's clearly a good movie, definitely aimed at a certain demographic of intellect that will cause a lot of people to be upset, but that's the point right? This is a depressingly accurate reflection of the world, just read the negative reviews here, do they even realise what they sound like after watching this? No of course they don't.
We need a significant cultural change in the world, but it's going to require a massive change, something that no one has even thought of yet.
Watch the movie if you are smart and want to get depressed about the state of things, or watch the movie if you are dumb and get angry about something you don't understand.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Well it's bad...
Very bad...
Does no one know how to make a movie these days? I've just finished watching it and I don't think I can even remember half of it because... it has no plot. It's a whole lot of nothing.
There was a line in it where they basically said "we need to find something as iconic as bullet time" and then they went on to find absolutely nothing.
It's a sad pathetic lazy rushed money grab of a movie that will instantly be forgotten as just a terrible sequel.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Designed to be watched on your phone
Well this is where we are going with marvel movies now, very simple plots and poor cgi.
I dont know if this was rushed of they just don't care, but the cgi looks about the quality of a computer game, maybe you wouldn't notice if you were watching on a tv or your phone but it fails on the big screen.
Story is predictable, nothing novel or original. I guess the production line that is Disney will just be churning these movies out now.
Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
It's not awful...
And that's saying a lot for horror movies these days. It's basically a pretty typical found footage style movie, so expect shaky cameras, lots of turning in circles and catching glimpses of scary things.
It has absolutely nothing to do with the paranormal series of movies though, they are just using that as a "brand" to try and give a very generic horror a boost in ratings.
Zone 414 (2021)
Thinks it's smarter than it is...
They tried to make a clever sci fi movie, they gave it a solid shot using all of the existing common tropes, but it doesn't go anywhere. There is nothing new, nothing novel, nothing interesting or unique.
You have seen it before and you have seen it done better. It's a mediocre forgettable movie that won't leave you any richer after seeing it.
Bake Squad (2021)
A good show to hate watch...
...if you know anything about professional pastry chefs.
The constant self proclamations of how amazing they all are is honestly one of the only things they are good at. I guess in a world where mediocrity and failure are actively celebrated this is now what people think talent is.
These are a bunch of amateurs at best, fumbling their way through briefs, with a captive audience who will always say they are incredible even if it's completely pathetic.
Watch it if you enjoy seeing that sad American culture of unfounded over confidence.
Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020)
Star Trek stuck right in the present
Star Trek used to be about an idealistic future, if you look at the next generation or voyager, they were trying to be ahead of their time showing a future where there was true equality and respect and the negative traits of current times had been fixed and addressed.
And now we have this. This is firmly set in current 2020s ideals where the primary goal of all culture is to take all the atrocities and negative behaviour towards woman over the past century and apply it all firmly to men in the guise of equality and feminism. This is the easy way to get equality, just make everything bad for everyone. Why didn't we as a people try to take what was good and apply that?
Anyway, in the last episode the solution to the problem was literally repeatedly a female character kicking the male character in the balls until he was in so much pain it ended. Truely an inspiration to all, nothing like a bit of physical violence and abuse against the other gender to solve a problem.
And that basically summarises the world at the moment and why people get tired of "Wokeness", we are as a society now expected to accept that abuse and violence against a gender is acceptable so long as it is against one socially acceptable gender.
We are now allowed to express as much hatred, abuse, violence, and bullying as we want as a society, so long as it is against one gender. This is apparently equality.