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Reviews
Tarzan and His Mate (1934)
The best of the Weissmuller films!
I have the entire Weissmuller Tarzan series on DVD (fully restored editions) & I never tire of watching them. My personal favorite is "Tarzan and His Mate", due entirely (well almost entirely) to Maureen O'Sullivan's costume and the occasional flashes of her genital area beneath that leather flap hanging in front. Before anyone claims that A - It wasn't really her, or B - It wasn't really what it looks like, let me say that I have watched it numerous time, in high zoom mode, and trust me...it IS her, AND she is completely naked underneath that costume...several times, especially during the lion attack at the end, careful viewing in slow motion and maximum zoom will reveal that she was shaved except for a tiny patch of dark hair covering her labia...There is NO mistake about that at all. As to the swimming scene being a body double in a "skin" suit, yes, it is a double, BUT she is NOT wearing any "skin" suit or anything else...again, slow motion and maximum zoom shows everything to those who want to see it. Now, that controversy out of the way, let's move on the actual movie...I thought the script was really well thought out and written tightly...The action sequences were simply great, although it is obviously a stuntman riding the rhino, Weissmuller actually wrestles the big male lion...The use of background shots that were second unit stuff from Africa is very well blended with the studio & US locations making it sometimes hard to tell which is which. Don't complain too much though, remember that 90% of ALL films is phony anyway, so just relax and enjoy the damned thing with a big bowl of popcorn, some cold beer, and a fresh pack of smokes...a sexy and willing girlfriend/wife isn't out of line either...lol. Oh...One final word about nudity...at the very beginning, while the white hunters are speaking dialogue, keep your eyes on the background extras...there are several good shots of nude African girls (obviously shot on location) behind them. One more thing, the movie is not racist by the standards of the 1930's until the 1960's...that's the way colored people were thought of and portrayed back then. Shaft hadn't even been thought about at that time, nor would audiences have accepted any other portrayals of them at the time in history. Safaris actually did use natives carrying luggage on their heads...and Tiny's character did die a heroic death trying to save the white hunters and Jane. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until Gene Autry treated the native Americans and colored people in his Westerns like real human beings that Hollywood began to see that it was okay to do so.
The Beast Must Die (1974)
A lot of fun late at night.
This is a fun little film to watch late at night with a girlfriend...It is actually a fairly good "who-done-it" British style, but not all that scary for the most part. With some fine plot twists, and the infamous "werewolf break" added at the end, I enjoyed it a lot...The main things that ruin this movie are...1- the horrible 1970's Techno-funk music...(Now THAT is really horrible!!!), and...2- the idea that a black guy in England would have that many honky friends to invite or that he would have that much money without being a deposed African dictator...All in all, an enjoyable romp with excellent acting from most of the cast...but don't expect too much from it, just sit back and let 'er roll.
The Singer Not the Song (1961)
One film I have never been able to forget.
I was a young airman who went to the base theater from sheer boredom one night (and because the adv. said it was a Western?)...I sat through the whole thing, stunned as if I had been hit over the head with a hammer!...I don't know if "enjoyed" is a word I would use to describe this movie, but most certainly "impressed" would fit the bill...There were enough gunfights and charging about on horses to satisfy the Western lover in me, although the girl running around in a Cadillac convertible (or was it a Lincoln?) was a bit strange and took some getting used to...As someone who was raised strict Irish Catholic (oh, those were the days!!), I understood the priest's sense of duty and inner turmoil over the beautiful girl, but as a young man with more than my fair share of hormones, I also appreciated the lust and sex aspects of the affair between the bandit chief and the girl as well...As to the final shootout at the end, well, all I can say is...WOW...it totally satisfied the action requirements of a Western film...The Mexican army against a gang of ruthless gunfighters, bodies all over the place, gunsmoke hanging in the air, and of course the bloody demise of both stars...Since finding out that Bogarde was both a homosexual AND a raving Commie, I have lost all respect for him as a person, but still retain admiration for him as an actor...Like I said, this film (which I have not been able to find, or see, since 1962) is one that I have never been able to forget, even to quoting many of the lines of dialogue from time to time...Oh yes, and don't forget the bandit's white Persian cat being hand fed goldfish...(ala Blofeld's cat in 007 films!!)...A powerful movie even if not a successful one!!
Never Cry Werewolf (2008)
I liked this one for two reasons
I know...it's the most blatant rip-off of Fright Night imaginable...I can't understand how the writer wasn't sued for plagiarism...lol...BUT I liked it for two reasons...both of which are attached to Nina Dobrev's chest...wowza!!! Actually, the acting was credible, the werewolf effects were well done, and Kevin Sorbo was delightful as the has-been TV star who, although a total phony, came through at the end as a genuine hero (Yes, Roddy McDowell did it better but then he was a GREAT actor, not just an competent actor)...In short, while no Academy Award winner, it was fun to watch. I'm going to add this one to my werewolf collection. At least, the werewolf looked good, not like that crummy chow-chow dog they used in American Werewolf in London...what a waste of film THAT one was!!!
The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956)
Just good clean fun for everyone!
While I have to agree with most of the reviewers about the amateurish stop-motion animation, the monster is not really all that bad, it seems that way compared to the movie magic that modern CGI (Jurassic Park) is capable of now. The acting is quite good, with Guy Madison proving that he had more than the ability to ride a horse with the best of them...he had genuine talent as an actor too. Patricia Medina is more than lovely...she is a dream in color. The plot is surprisingly well thought out, and the script is pure 1950's fun from start to finish. Once the action gets going, it is worth the wait...a tough fist fight, a couple of fast draws, and some horsemanship that is very impressive. Some people complained about how the monster meets its end, but I thought that it was quite a change from the usual manner in which the hero brings it down...actually something that might work if such a monster was to show up for real. In short, this is NOT Valley of Gwangi, or Jurassic Park, but it is just good clean fun for everyone in the family! Sit down with a big bowl of popcorn, a mug of Pepsi, a pack of smokes, turn out the lights, and enjoy an hour & a half of pure fun. Don't criticize it, just enjoy it.
Waterhole #3 (1967)
Hilarious to men, hated by women
This film ranks as one of my personal, all-time favorite comedy movies. I laugh myself silly every time I watch it, but I have never known any woman who enjoyed it, or even sat through the whole thing, due to the blatant sexist script, especially the jokes about James Coburn's rape of the sheriff's daughter. For example, the line "Hell, Sheriff, it wasn't rape...it was only assault with a friendly weapon!" While there are many fantastic comedic performances by a host of actors, both famous & lesser known, the one great scene that always reduces me to uncontrollable laughter is the shoot out in the whore house with shotguns blowing everything to smithereens. That scene must be seen to be believed. The title song is funny & really sticks in your memory too..."It's the Code of the West!" (a man soaps his own saddle, brands his own cattle, and some of his neighbor's as well). To sum up...this is a movie that will reduce men to so much laughter that they will have trouble breathing, but will offend every woman who tries to sit through it. A really great comedy movie but don't watch it with your wife unless you want to be called "a sexist pig" and forced to sleep in the garage for a week.
Dune (1984)
Loved this film...hated the book!
First, let me state that I really love this film...it is one I never tire of watching. I have both versions, the long one & the short one, & I usually watch them both, one behind the other. Yes, that makes for a very long night, but I'm retired so I have more time than anything else. Secondly, I tried to read the books, but got so bored about 1/3 of the way through the first one that I just gave it up as a bad job. Third, I cannot understand why so many people disliked this movie. It has a superb cast, wonderful music, great costumes (although what was with the designer of the Emporer's daughter's dresses...is that girl really that flat chested???), stunning set designs, and excellent stunt work. Fourth, While the SFX do look sort of cheesy by today's standards, if taken in the context of 1984's technology, they are very well done. You simply cannot judge SFX done almost 30 yrs. ago by what was done in LOTR, or any of the newer, big budget sci-fi films. That's saying an apple is just like an orange...they are not the same. I may be in the minority opinion, but I rank this film very highly on all counts.
La lupa mannara (1976)
Werewolf...No...Nude Blonde...YES!!!
This Italian film from the '70's is NOT even in the class with Dog Soldiers, The Howling, or even that awful American Werewolf in Paris, BUT...it is fun to watch. I'm talking about watching the lead actress, a stunning blonde, run amok in her birthday suit. We're talking about graphic, complete nudity...it's obvious that she is a real blonde...humma humma humma!! The story is a hoot, the SFX are childish, and the acting (for the most part) stinks. The only redeeming value of this movie is all (and there is a LOT) the nudity & sex scenes. Tame by HBO standards, but still fun to see when you find yourself without a date on Saturday night. OK...HERE'S THE SPOILER...There is NO werewolf (except in the opening scene of the heroine(??)'s ancestor. The girl just imagines that she's a werewolf...in other words, a clinical Lycanthrope.
The Werewolf of Washington (1973)
so awful it's funny
Imagine what would happen if Mel Brooks, Roger Corman, & the Democratic Party teamed up with that asshole Micheal Moore to make a horror movie. That pretty much says it all. But IMDb says I have to type 10 lines of comment. So... The acting is terrible (Even the normally competent Dean Stockwell goes through his paces as if he was stoned on something). The constant digs at conservative Republicans is more than just annoying, it is another reason why we hate the Demon-crats so much. The film quality is so bad that if it had been shot on 8mm film it could only have improved it. The jokes fall flat, and the makeup is a total farce. Is that 10 lines yet? I hope?
I lunghi capelli della morte (1964)
Outstanding Thriller
While the film quality of the DVD I bought is rather poor (faded & a little blurry), this is an outstanding movie. The plot is horror with a witch burned at the stake & cursing her accusers, a daughter violated & murdered, & another daughter raised by her killers & married off to the lecherous son. Of course, the dead daughter (Barbara Steele) returns from the grave to exact vengeance on the family who burner her mother & killed her to hide the fact that the Count raped her while she begged for her mother's life. The best thing about this film is the way a mood was set early on & never let up on the suspense. The plot is solid & well scripted for an Italian movie. For its day, the SFX are not too shabby. At times, I had the feeling that Shakespeare might have written this if he had been alive in the 1950's...lol. Another thing I enjoyed was seeing Barbara Steele in her prime, not to mention some scenes of her naked tits. While very tame by today's standards, the sex scenes were very daring & explicit for the '50's. I know that most of today's young people will not like this movie, finding it slow moving & even perhaps a bit boring, but anyone who enjoys well done suspense, atmospheric horror, & an intelligent script, will thoroughly enjoy this film.
The Last Legion (2007)
An exciting movie from beginning to end!
The Last Legion is one of those films that really didn't get the credit it deserves. Taken as straight action/adventure with a semi-historical plot, it delivers exactly what it promises...entertainment with non-stop action and really good battle scenes. I actually prefer it over "Arthur" as a matter of fact. True, it is NOT Academy Award stuff, but then most enjoyable films are not. The A.A. folks seem to only give that Golden Statue to movies that no one but the film critics like. If it has one flaw, that is the lack of more flesh when the girl warrior gets in the water, or in the hero's bed...lol. I've seen her nude photos on the internet and believe me...she is HOT!!!! It is out on DVD now and will make an enjoyable addition to anyone's action/fantasy/adventure collection.
To Hell and Back (1955)
A Great Film about a Great Man!!!
Of course this movie "sanitizes" WWII, look at the year it was made, the Hollywood censors would NEVER have allowed a "Saving Private Ryan" film to be released. That said, this is a true story, starring the man who actually lived through everything it shows and much, much more besides. I knew Audie personally and I can tell you that he was, and could really do, anything you saw him do on the screen. He actually did kill 283 German soldiers, not as a unit action, but he, himself, with his own guns! If anything, this movie down plays his real life heroics to a large extent. Audie's book tells a lot more detail about what happened during the War. When I knew him, Audie suffered from severe PTSD, but the VA had not recognized that as a real medical problem, so he never got treatment for it. He did sleep with a pistol under his pillow every night of his life, and he carried a loaded gun on his person everywhere he went, every day of his life (I do the same thing btw...and the VA treated me for PTSD after 'Nam). Finally, this is a wonderful movie about all the brave heroes who fought in those campaigns, dying, maimed, or just lucky enough to come home at the end. Audie was a much better actor than he was ever allowed to be by Universal Studios. His Westerns made money, and that was the studio's bottom line. BTW...To Hell and Back was the BIGGEST money maker for Universal until Jaws was released...that's not a bad record for Hollywood...20 yrs. worth of Dollars in the bank.
Many Rivers to Cross (1955)
A light-hearted gem of a film!!!!
I watched this on TCM one night & my wife & I laughed so hard we almost fell off the couch!! This is one of those little movies that has something for everyone...comedy, action, a wonderful script, & characters that force you to like them. Robert Taylor was perfect as the footloose, frontier Romeo, & Eleanor Parker was never more beautiful & funny playing the love-sick woman who intends to "get her man" no matter what it takes...but make no mistake, she is no wimpy, sighing, helpless female...she really is "Steppin' Woman"!!!! The title song is so catchy that you'll have trouble not singing it for months afterward. Some of the dialogue is at one turn hilarious, then a few lines later, subtly humorous...a real scriptwriter's dream. There is nothing to offend anyone but lots of things to delight everyone. A great family film!!!!
The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943)
A touching, heartwarming, film that I am so glad I stayed up to watch it.
This is one of the most touching, heartwarming films I've ever seen. I'm so glad I stayed up late to watch it on TCM last night. The acting was superb, the sets true in every detail, & the costumes totally authentic. The script was literate, yet not snobbish. If there is one fault I had with this movie, it was the lack of action. The big game hunting was done off-camera (although I admit that the way it was handled was incredible!!), & there was almost no war time scenes...even the duel was cut short. That aside, this film kept me riveted for the entire 2 hours. At the end, I had to wipe away a tear as I realized that time was catching up with me in much the same way. Not a film for the younger audiences...no sex, no nudity, no blood & guts. No, this is film for those of us who've lived long enough to know that life is more than explosions, sex, machine guns, & car chases. In short...I loved it...Ten Stars!!!!
Ring of Fear (1954)
Brings back fond memories!!!
While the plot/acting/script was only mediocre, the footage of the actual Clyde Beatty Circus & its performers make this a better than average film. It is a very enjoyable film for this reason alone. The acting was not all that bad, just not top-grade. It is in color & cinemascope...rare for such low budget pictures. Rent it, I think you'll like it even if you never saw a circus under "the Big Top". As a child in the '40's, I got to see this circus many times, along with Barnum & Bailey's, so this brought back many fond childhood memories. What kid didn't want to be a lion tamer? 40 yrs later, I did get to try my hand at it...what a thrill even though I had too much fear of the cats to be successful...only did it twice. I did work several seasons with circuses as a trick shot, bullwhip & knife throwing artist...memories I will carry to my grave.
An American Haunting (2005)
An excellent ghost story...BUT....!
I just saw this movie on Showtime (or HBO...I forget which) & while I found it to be an excellent ghost story, with exceptional acting, eerie settings, mood music, good SFX, & a plot that kept you on edge, I absolutely hated the contrived, "modern" ending. I did rate this film a 9 out of 10 because of all the good things about it however. I know the real Bell Witch story quite well & this movie only paid lip service to it. There were many more frightening things that could (& should) have been included in the film. I think the director & producers missed a great bet there. Now that I've talked about the good things, let me expound upon that rotten ending! Parental sexual abuse? Give me a break! There was never, ever, any reference to that in any of the historical records. So why was it put in the script at all? Simple, to pander to the "politically correct" feminazi "blame everything bad on men" attitudes of modern left-wing liberals! Then to bring it forward to suggest that the descendants were being abused in the same manner? Ridiculous in the extreme. If I were a descendant of the Bell family, I would be filing a big fat lawsuit against everyone involved in this production. Watch it the next time it's on TV, but with that caveat.
The Covenant (2006)
I enjoyed it.
While I had my doubts about this one (whoever puts together movie trailers usually has never watched a film...lol), I ended up enjoying it. Certainly not a classic like The Craft, or even Practical Magic, but still pretty good for a late night Saturday thriller flick. The SFX are very impressive, with lots of explosions, fantastic flying wire stunts, & fires/wrecks, etc. The kids who starred in it really do need some acting classes, but I've seen a lot worse too. The blond girl was really a cutie...what a shame she kept her clothes on for so much of the movie. The plot left a lot to be desired, but the action sequences more than made up for the sloppy script. The director did an OK job too although not in a class with some of the old Universal horror films. All in all, if you need a date movie that pretty scary, rent this one & cuddle up on the couch with the lights off. I promise you, when the spiders come crawling, so will she...lol.
The Postman (1997)
One of the few Costner films I like.
While I have only liked a few of Costner's films, this is one of them. For the most part, it seems as if he is on a self-destruct career course with turkeys like Waterworld, Robin Hood (about on a par with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...lol) & Dances with Wolves, but the Postman, Silverado, & the Untouchables, were worth the ticket price. One of the things I like most about The Postman is the message it sends that no matter how bad things are, if you have hope & a purpose in life, things will get better. The battle scenes were well done, the stunt work very good, & the plot kept everything moving along as it should have. Costner is a better than average horseman, he must've taken lessons while making Silverado, & handled the action scenes like a real pro. I know that many people disliked this film but I can't understand why myself...I thought it was much better than a lot of the drivel that Hollyweird puts out.
Billy the Kid Versus Dracula (1966)
Not great but not all that bad either.
While the title is laughable, the production values were okay, as was the cinematography. The acting was...well...less than wonderful, but not bad enough to ruin the fun. Poor John Carradine..."Lo how the mighty have fallen" is about all one can say regarding his appearance in this film, but even old actors have to eat & pay bills, so we forgive him. There were quite a few old favorites working in this one. Roy Barcroft (everyone's favorite "bad guy" in almost all of the Rocky Lane movies), Bing Russell (yes, Kurt's daddy), Harry Carey Jr. with only a few lines early in the film, his mom, Olive Carey,(remember her from "The Searchers"?) as the town Dr., and a few others whose names won't ring any bells but whose faces are instantly recognizable to anyone who has ever seen a Western or a Cop movie/TV show. It was also fun to see the old Corriganville Movie Ranch sets again...a lot of fond memories for us old Western actors there! Chuck Courtney (the star),was quite a horseman. Watching him ride & handle his mounts was almost enough to make you forget that crummy rubber bat. He did a credible job of acting, & his fast draw skills were very good. I did some stunt work with him many years ago, & he was well respected in the industry as both a daring stuntman & a competent stunt coordinator. When you did a fight scene with him, it always looked real & no one got hurt. All in all, this movie is not a "great" horror classic, but it is fun to watch as light entertainment. A real "popcorn & beer" film for late night viewing.
Blood and Chocolate (2007)
I really liked this one!
I've read some reviews that lament & belabor the fact that this film was not faithful to the original novel. Well, boo hoo. With only a few exceptions, movies usually aren't...it's the nature of the beast (pun intended...lol). Get over it, kiddies. As to the actual film, I found it very well done, with good acting, enough action to keep your adrenalin up, & a story line that went a few steps beyond what most werewolf movies attempt. Actually, I thought it was more of a love story with werewolves thrown in to spice it up. The director was, perhaps, not up to the job, but it was adequate at least. I would've liked to have seen more nudity (there were some hotties in it), but then one can't have everything I guess. It just sort of bothers me that in 99% of werewolf films, the characters start out fully clothed, but end up dying naked as eggs. What happened to the clothes in between? Do they just evaporate or what? At the very least, they should have shown the clothes neatly piled up somewhere. Anyway, since I have never read the book, it didn't bother me that the film departed from the original source. It wasn't as good as "Dog Soldiers" or "The Howling" but then, this isn't really a "monster movie." It was miles better than that dismal "American Werewolf in London" and "American Werewolf in Paris" both of which were absolute bombs as far as I'm concerned. I did like that instead of phony CGI werewolves, they used real live wolves...that was a classy touch! Finally, if you enjoy these types of films, or even if you just like love stories, I think you'll find this movie a treat. I did.
The 6th Day (2000)
Outstanding Sci-Fi thriller!
What's not to like about Arnie doing his action thing as only he can? The sci-fi gadgets are realistically done & most of them are very close to being actually in use within a few years. The action is non-stop & as always, very well done. The stunt team was really on the ball here. OK, so it is not "true" science...who, besides real scientists, cares about that? If you want "real" science, watch "The Andromeda Strain," or "Outbreak." If you, like most people, just want to be entertained for 2 hours, then this is a really great movie to watch with popcorn, some ice-cold sodas, & your date snuggled up next to you on the couch. It has some classic "Arnie" one-liners to chuckle at, some comedy scattered through it, & lots of explosions, laser blasters, chases, fights, & a plot that keeps you guessing until the very end. The negative comments I've read about this film must have been written by the science/computer nerds that escaped extinction so far.
The Last of the Mohicans (1936)
An Excellent Adventure Film!
There have been many films/TV shows made from the Cooper novel, but only 2 really stand out as movies I never tire of watching. This 1936 version, starring Randolph Scott, is one of them. While lacking the majestic beauty of panoramic cinematography that the 1992 version has, it tells the story straight out, with great acting from Randy Scott & his supporting cast. Scott, always the stalwart hero, was never better than as Hawkeye. The director cut no corners, giving the actors whatever they required to make their characters living, breathing, people rather than just cardboard stereotypes as many Hollywood productions did in those early days of sound film. The B/W photography, rather than detracting, actually gives the film a certain historical aspect, as if we are watching a real event through the binoculars of time. I whole-heartedly encourage anyone who hasn't suffered terminal "brain-rot" from the modern crop of "hack-em & slash-em", drugs, sex & rock music, movies, to add this one to their collection of really excellent films!
Cadfael (1994)
Another Great series from the BBC!
We have the entire Brother Cadfael series on VHS (DVDs are still too expensive for us), as well as all of Ellis Peter's novels. We never tire of watching/reading them. The production values are exquisite, the acting (even the bit players) is above excellence, & the scenery, sets, photography, is among the best I have ever seen. If there is one flaw to this series, it is that they quit before they made all of the novels into teleplays. This is one series that could have gone on for another 5 years or so & not lost our rapt attention. Sir Jacobi did his part with both professionalism & a human quality that made the character totally believable. Our only actual gripe is that Sean Pertwee did not continue his role as Hugh Beringer throughout the entire 13 episodes. He was the best "Sheriff" in our opinion, although the other two actors did very creditable jobs with their portrayals. This is one series that any mystery/history buff needs to add to their collection pronto!
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
What a let down!
While I count Pirates...Curse of the Black Pearl...as one of my favorite pirate films (right up there with Captain Blood, Cutthroat Island, Pirates! (the Walter Matthau film), & Crimson Pirate), and I did enjoy Pirates 2 somewhat, I found Pirates 3 to be a waste of time & money. There was very little of the witty dialogue & humor that made the 1st 2 films so good, & there is just too much reliance on CGI scenes. Also, the story was so contrived and disjointed that it was almost a hindrance to the action. Also, the ending, with Orlando Bloom's character ending up as the new "Davey Jones", & Keira Knightly's "Elizabeth" spending the rest of her days sitting on a lonely beach waiting for her lover to come back once every 10 yrs for a quickie, was not my idea of a happy ending. Johnny Depp is a great actor, but in this sequel, he just seems to be going through the motions so he can collect a fat paycheck. All in all, Pirates 1 is a keeper, but #2 can go into my next yard sale, and I won't throw my money away on a DVD of #3. I suggest you do the same unless your mind has been totally eaten away by all the loud rock music & cheap beer that most of the audience seemed to be devotees of. To sum it all up...as Nero Wolfe would say...PFUI!!!!!
The Good Shepherd (2006)
Excellent acting, Excellent plot, No action at all.
I rented this film because I like Matt Damon in almost everything else he has done to date. This is a classic example of a "Talkie". It is also an excellent movie in terms of plot, acting, direction, camera work, in short everything that makes film, except one. There is almost NO action at all. Don't misunderstand me, it IS an excellent film but except for a few (very few) assassinations done by others (as ordered by Matt Damon's character), nobody DOES anything except talk, talk, talk. While I fully realize that this is what spy work is actually like in real life (my brother was a military intelligence officer & another relative is in the CIA), the movie would have benefited from more action sequences. The Bourne Identity it is NOT. So, if you enjoy tightly written, extremely well acted, textbook directed movies, then you will like it. If, on the other hand, you like James Bond, or the Bourne films, you will probably be bored to tears. Did I like it? Yes, but I would've given my left arm for just one gunfight, or at least something blowing up.