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zanicdu
Reviews
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Well, this happened.
I was so, so, so hoping for a good movie. It's decent, don't get me wrong. BUT, the ending is so telegraphed that Western Union came and dry humped it to death. As most movies/reboots today, another franchise ruined. Makes the other two films seem like a waste of time. No pun intended. Just look at the poster and think,, "hmm... it's 2020, wonder how it'll end?" And you guessed it.
Dragon Soldiers (2020)
Good for a Riff Party
I didn't have high hopes for this movie, but man... was I Riffing the hell out of it. I was having a great time. It's not the best movie in the world, but the jokes that can be made are priceless. I LOVE the fact that the movie is self aware of how bad it is. Release date, 05/11/2020 and one of the missing posters has a dude gone missing on 05/12/2020. Which was the date I was watching it on. Too funny. Now it will make sense, in future viewings but, har har. If you love doing MST3K to movies, this one's for you!
A Little Late with Lilly Singh (2019)
Hate your senses? Then this dumpster fires for you!
Unfunny, condescending, repetitive "jokes", unlikable, and VERY painful to watch.
A Little Late with Lilly Singh (2019)
Hate your senses? Then this dumpster fires for you!
Unfunny, condescending, repetitive "jokes", unlikable, and VERY painful to watch.
We Are Gathered Here (2019)
Save yourself the time and stare at a wall!
I've NEVER seen a film where I hated every character. Except Rachel, she started strong and then had her balls cut off. Speaking of which, the two "guys" have NONE! I literally, term used correctly, wanted to see them all doused with gasoline and set on fire. THAT'S how much each character sucked. I kept hoping it'd turn into a horror flick. I had no problem with the ending, but you can't feel bad for anyone when you want to slap the sh#t out of them. Steer clear of watching this dumpster fire from Uranus. And you're thinking, at least there's Rachel. Nope. The polar vortex that is the suckatude of all the characters eventually brings her down as well. It was like in Freaks. Gooble Gobble, One of us, One of us. Once she joined, it was a downward spiral. I took 3 days after watching it to write this. And I still can't stop hating those characters. I mean, I REALLY hate them all. Except early Rachel.
Jessabelle (2014)
Gee, guess what happens?
The movie was decent, for the most part. The continued popping up of VHS tapes got old really quick. Them using a whole freaking tape for not even five minutes was stupider. I mean, at least have it add on to the original. Where there was snow before, now there's filmed footage. More spooky then grossly underused tapes. Again, it was good until you get to the bloody ending. No, there's no blood. Where to start? Them showing her controlling the wheelchair, uh, not scary. Okay, I get, it's in her head. If it was, she wouldn't have been taken over in the water. But they showed it, which meant the binding should have been there. Then, like with every other stand alone horror movie, evil won. Yip yip yaiah. Same thing as every other movie now. Slashers don't count as they usually get a sequel. Disappointed in what could have been a better movie.
The Twilight Zone (2019)
The Twilight NOT!!
I've been a huge of the Zone since I was 5. Seen every episode from 59, 85, 02 and these. I was excited when I heard it was coming back AND Jordan was attached. The acting was okay, nothing to write home about. The little Easter Eggs were cute, but the writing. Rod, Charles, and Richard have spun in their graves. They tried to be cleaver and it wasn't. It was insulting to the name Twilight Zone. I hope this is the only season and never spoken about again.
Us (2019)
Great movie, until the end.
I was surprised with how good this movie was. I've been watching horror movies since I was 6. I'm a lot older now. Every horror movie as of late really sucks, this one was way better than them. Until the end, but I digress. The writing, almost, was very good. The dialog was smooth, except the ha ha white people. I don't mind having ha ha white people dialog, but make it flow natural. They came off as selfish robots.
The only real issues I have, some things were just way too dark. What I mean is, shadows can make a horror movie, this time the shadows were too much. It was hard to see the actors. But, it wasn't overdone to where I can say that ruined the film. It hindered but easily overlooked. What killed it, was Jordan putting in a twist at the end. Okay, I'm a HUGE Twilight Zone nut. I write myself, and my short stories all have a Serling Twist. I get Jordan was going for that, but he ended up with a M Night Twist. It was SO unneeded. And while I'm thinking on it, the one family member who gets it, really has nothing to complain about. So, not only was it not needed, the impact is completely stupid.
Would I recommend this film? Yes. Watch it. It's a fantastic film. Just expect the very end to disappoint you. If you go in knowing that, it should save the film for you. If not, hey, you've been warned.
Unicorn Store (2017)
WTH did I just watch?
Oh, where to begin? The editing was piss poor at best. Flash backs and current time blended in together. Brie was boring AF! For a girl who's supposed to be eccentric and quirky, she's bland as oatmeal. The office people are supposed to be boring, but she fits right in. You can tell Brie doesn't know how offices are by how she directed them. This was just horrid to watch. I forgot Sam Jackson was in this movie he's that forgettable. And her she shed. Oh my coffin! SPOILERS she's surprised by her own work! WTF. Don't bother watching, the "magical ending" falls flat on it's ass and unbelievable. Nothing leads up to make it special. She's a whiny, spoiled girl, who gets what she wants.
Only watch this if you want to be bored and hate yourself.