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Some of them I enjoyed, sort of. Some of them I hated. Some of them confused me so much that I don't know what I like anymore.
All of them wake me up in the middle of the night in tears.
This is not a list of the greatest movies, nor is it a list of the worst movies. This is a list of the movies that will never shake from your soul which makes it a very rare list.
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Reviews
Dokjeon (2018)
Briliant.
For those of you that like edgy Korean action movies this is the one.
The usual stuff for a good Korean movie, great plot, runs smooth and fast.
Plus probably one of the best trailers I have seen.
Koe no katachi (2016)
So Much Depth
I love going into something without much expectations and being blown out of the water.
This anime has so much depth to it and is so relevant to our lives.
This is a mush watch
Gon-ji-am (2018)
Genuinely Scary
Okay so I love horror movies but it's a rare event that I find a decent horror movie and an actual scary horror movie.
Plot has been done to death and I don't even need to click the spoiler button to say: Filming documentary in a haunted insane asylum goes awfully wrong.
I think I've seen 3 or four other titles that are exactly the same.
But this one get's scary. There are a couple of scenes which I'd put up into my top 10 creepiest scenes.
I also love Korean movies but I wouldn't rate this much in my Korean list. I lot of my favorites are 9 and 10 stars out of 10 so this does not make the grade at 8.
Blair witch style hand held camera throughout the whole thing get's a little annoying but that's the gig.
Ban-deu-si jab-neun-da (2017)
Oh God I love Korean Movies
Oh God I love Korean Movies.
I cannot express it enough.
With English Language films, Japanese or Chinese movies picking a movie will have a 50% outcome of utter dismay, about %25 meh and the rest is a range of mild enjoyment to a great movie.
I picked a random Korean movie and loved it. Really enjoyed it.
Great Characters, Great Story, Great plot where you really are trying to guess the ending.
That 70's brown polyester suit!!
Great!
Peulraenmaen (2014)
Not Brilliant but still Great.
I really wanted to see this movie so I think my anticipation got the better of me.
Not the most brilliant of Korean Romantic Comedies but it it still a very entertaining movie.
Great plot and then 3 quarters through the movie there's the tear jerker.
I've never cried so much in a movie as I have cried in Korean Movies and this one is no exception.
Great Movie.
Down a Dark Hall (2018)
Another Journey into "Meh"
I had high hopes with the one after seeing the preview.
The Flitting shadows that disappear had me intrigued.
But no, it was not to be.
There was a whole lot of movie, but really a whole lot of not much.
When I rate horror movies I usually give a little leeway as there are so many bad horrors out there.
Slowly but surely though there are so many horror movies entering the realm that are just nothing.
P.S. Uma does a really annoying job at pretending to be a person pretending to be french.
Wildling (2018)
Trailer gives away twist
I'm clicking the spoiler button but it's not really a spoiler if they describe in detail the twist in the trailer.
I like twists and I knew I was going to be disappointed by the sheer fact that I knew she was a wildling.
Si-gan-wi-ui jib (2017)
Yet another Great movie from south Korea.
This is yet another Great movie from south Korea.
Great Plot, Great twist. Full of emotion and feeling.
A little Jump, a little tear.
I don't know why South Korean Films tick all the boxes but I'll choose a south Korean movie over any other country any day.
This film is a great example of a perfectly polished result.
Observance (2015)
Decent effort that ends in a complete fail.
I had no idea what to expect from this. It was Genuinely creepy which was a good start.
It had some unexplained character past, which usually gives you the inclining of a well rounded, satisfying plot.
Unexplained happenings, research into other character's suspicious past.
Then - Bang! it ends, nothing explained in, not even the smallest detail.
Bang, it ends and you're just wildly guessing.
It's like they forgot to dot the i's and cross the t's and at the end just went "meh, that'll do."
Could have been great, could have been fantastic. Was nothing.
Jian wang cun (2017)
Great, Strange Movie
From looking at the preview of this movie it's unknown what exactly you're in for.
For me it looked like a very dark, the blackest of black comedies.
It was a black comedy but thankfully a great deal lighter than I expected.
It felt more like a Coen brothers movie.
The bandits who sing acapella. The killer post lady, meekly grappling with learning to ride a bicycle.
The kites and crispy springrolls made out of skin -OH.
This has both dark and light moments which make it a very enjoyable movie.
We Go On (2016)
Easy to miss Gem
I would highly recommend this movie as I found it one of the most enjoyable horror movies I have seen this year.
It's also an easy to miss movie. There's nothing in the trailer, the title or the synopses that leads you to believe that this is a brilliant movie.
These days twists are easier and easier to spot. I don't know whether it's because we are becoming attuned to the tell tail signs or because people are just not trying that hard. The twist is this movie, although small I did not see coming at all.
The movie works itself through haphazardly from one scenario to the next giving you the feel that it's more anarchy than a planned plot. But after everything has played out to fruition I feel a very well planned plot may hide itself in what seems like anarchy because life is anarchy and if we feel like we are watching a set out plot line it would feel less real.
Great quotes, the mum is a great character.
The plot is subtle, the scenes are light. It does not aim to hit you with a bat of gore, violence and special effects "WHAM!"
It creeps up on you and at the end you realize you've just watched a brilliant movie.
Bite (2015)
Extremely Entertaining
This movie starts off looking like some shaky cam movies and soon turns into a gruesome, egg laying nightmare that I found extremely entertaining for no particular reason.
I think that I found none of the characters likable, they ranged from hated to disliked. So as they fell foul one by one there was a mild sense of enjoyment found. Even the rapid demise of the main character as she went from "I don't think I'm ready for marriage" to "My job is to lay as many little eggs as possible" was something to look forward to.
There reactions were great as well, going from "It's just a little bite" and then the big "BITE" title comes up. To - where there are eggs, and webbing everywhere and the visitor is saying "It's not as bad as it looks."
By the way, it doesn't matter who's room your walking into, if you open the door and there's webs and eggs everywhere and it looks like some giant insects den you say "opps, sorry wrong room" close the door and run.
Acting was not brilliant, dialogue was just okay but for some reason this has been the best horror I have seen in a long, long time and I need to give it 10 out 10 and I have no idea why.
Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017)
Tries too hard
I eventually turned this off. (hence the 1 out of 10) I gave it over an hour to actually captivate me but it failed so dramatically that I turned off in anger.
This movie tries so hard and fails so hard. It tries hard to be funny and you end up feeling like you're watching a 5 year old making jokes. It tries too hard to be smart but it takes a smart person to make a smart script and not look like they're a Mr smartypants wannabee. This person is a Mr smartypants wannabee. It tries too hard to be sexy and just looks Chauvinistic.
There was some potential here but completely lost.
Don't Knock Twice (2016)
Much better than expected.
I went into this without much expectation, to tell you the honest truth I'm not a big fan of Katee Sackhoff and I see so many horror movies that they all look the same, an endless blur of screaming, running, blood and corny twists.
I would rate this well above par.
Katee Sackhoff plays a mum who is trying to reconcile her relationship with her daughter. The daughter is being hunted by a dead witch.
Story line was good. There were truly creepy moments which I found enjoyable.
Twist was predictable but not as corny as I thought it would be.
Katee Sackhoff was bearable.
Before I Wake (2016)
Great Horror Movie
Really enjoyed this movie and for me this ticks all the boxes.
+ Horror movie with lots of real jumps. I think I squealed a few times. (It's the whole point of horror and if I don't jump I'm kind of a little disappointed)
+ Great story line, not hammering a story done to death. No shallow story, characters are intense and have depth.
+ Little kid is fantastic. You really feel for him.
+ Great ending, not an ending where everyone dies at the end but also not an ending where everything is fabulous, ending hits the spot.
+ Ending leaves unanswered questions which makes you think more.
+ Acting is solid.
+ Cried at the end, love a movie that brings out tears.
Really Perfect Movie
Yong-eui-ja X (2012)
Maybe too Contrived
I'm yet again going to tick the spoiler button because toward the end of the review I am going to give away the ending. SPOILER ALERT
Now, I love Korean movies and that as well as the great reviews this movie has been getting may have been setting me up to watch this with way too high expectations.
For me this movie bombed. a 7 out of 10 in any other movie genre is not a bomb but for me, for South Korean movies 7 out of 10 is a loss.
I found the plot maybe a little to contrived, set out way too precisely and by the time they got to the huge twist I really did not care.
SPOILER BELOW!! The thing that got me the most was that the main character went to so much effort to obscure the murder of the x-husband that he hid the x- husband's body where no one would ever find it. Killed a homeless person the very same way and hid their identity so that the police would think that it was the x-husband's body.
A] The first part of this plan would have done the trick.Hiding the body where it will never be found without killing another person seems like an okay plan. B] No one care about the dead homeless person. "Oh you really love me, you killed a homeless person for me" I think the movie really fails to make a distinction that homeless people are actual people and killing a homeless person is still murder.
Hong yi xiao nu hai (2015)
Good Chinese Horror.
It's been a while since I've seen a good horror movie. It's been a while since I've seen a good Chinese movie.
I can't even remember a Chinese horror movie I'd rate as high as 9 out of 10.
This was a great movie, lot's of jumping scares.
Only downside is I wish the CGI was a little CGIish, maybe a if they had it little obscured or out of the corner. This is only really a slight blemish on a great movie.
I'd recommend this a watch. This goes into my Horror movie Favorite list.
Cooties (2014)
It'll be all over soon
Zombie movies through the ages can be measured. There are the the high times, from out of nowhere a zombie movie comes out and takes everyone by surprise. The world suddenly falls in love with zombie movies and film and television is flooded with zombie movies. A lot of them of outstanding quality. We go from a world with no zombie movies to a world ripe with zombie movies.
Then there's more and more and more and as we start getting tired of the monotonous tirade of the walking dead on our screens they start getting cheaper and shittier. Suddenly we don't want to watch them. No longer are there any good zombie movies and all that remains are unentertaining, bad copies of what lay before. As though just by repeating a good theme badly people will want to follow.
Suddenly it feels like an infection, ironically similar to the zombie virus and we need to get rid of it.
Then finally we are rid of zombie movies, for about 20 or so years until they resurface again.
This movie is proof that the golden age of zombie movies is over. It's not funny, it's not original. In fact it's actually a little painful to watch, the attempts of jokes that fail are more painful than the failed attempts of violence.
At the end of the movie your whole face physically hurts from wincing for 80 minutes.
Soon there will be no more zombie movies, the suffering will end.
Shut In (2015)
wanted more
This falls into the horror category of "Men intend to attack woman and because of woman's previous history attackers get a lot more than the bargain for."
This seems like a very specific category now that I think about it.
Out of this category I can think of one brilliant movie and that's "You're Next." (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1853739/) This pales in comparison. And while watching this I cannot help thinking how brilliant the other one is.
The woman's past, the little set up that her and her brother had is so unusual and feels a little contrived and that is my major annoyance.
The acting is good, the script seems okay, the movie is well set out and for the most part I really enjoy it. Just what they do to their victims downstairs is suddenly frolicked through and I'm not buying it. It should be intense but when they get there it does not seem intense enough.
Then she just lets them go.
All the rest seems intense, when they get to what should be the real horror it pulls the punches.
Kind of fizzled at the end, a big disappointment.
Could have been better but could have been a hell of a lot worse.
Synchronicity (2015)
Needs Patience.
I needed real patience to get through this one.
The whole thing felt immature. The acting, some of the dialogue, some of the script.
Someone is about to embark on the biggest discovery in history. He's popping pills and drinking coffee just to stay awake because it's all he can do. Then for the rest of the movie all he's wanting to do is have sex with one particular woman. I did find this a little annoying.
They were trying to give it that eighties scifi look, synthesizers all over the place, bladerunner style. Even down to the opening font and concrete architectural landscapes. I quite liked the charm that it lent itself to. But it also lent itself to eighties boring. Long, over stylized, drawn out conversations, completely unnecessary unless there was a serious intention to make me turn it off.
And I nearly turned it off, many many times.
But there was a sense that maybe, just maybe the movie would get better. There would be a great ending, or something.
Over time it did get a little better and the main reason I did not turn it off was I wanted to see the end. There was a sense of deliberate creation here by someone who had it in him to make a great movie.
Not this movie though, He missed the target on this movie. You could see where he was aiming for. With the substance and style it could have been a great movie. But when you miss the mark, you miss the mark.
Kiseijû (2014)
Great adaptation.
Okay first things first...
This is an adaptation of a single season anime. The Anime is great. BUT The movie Parasyte (Part 1 and Part 2) is also great.
Don't do what I did. "Oh the series is supposed to be better, I'll watch that first."
The Series is great but the movie holds it's own, especially how they develop the effects. The series takes the plot into intricate detail and kind of wreaks the movie.
I wish I now saw the movie first and then waited a few months and watched the series second.
Because the movies (Part 1 and Part 2) as a whole are great.
Peon-chi le-i-di (2007)
Must See South Korean Movie
I did not know what to expect from this movie.
One trailer I had seen concentrated on the wife abuse whereas a second trailer I saw tried to concentrate on the comedy.
It's not a funny move though.
They try to add comedy to it but it falls fairly flat. But It's a movie about spousal abuse, you don't even realize that there were funny bits put in.
Great Movie, the main actress and the daughter are incredible in the movie.
There are completely unrealistic events in the movie. But without them, no movie.
And I enjoyed this movie completely.
The Lobster (2015)
Someone just went insane and made a movie
Someone just went insane and made a movie.
And now I'm watching that movie that someone made straight after going insane.
Or is it that I really went insane and, in that insanity I am imagining myself watching this movie.
For all I know, I could have been watching the Smurfs but, unbeknownst to me I had gone insane and this is how my mind has interpreted the random movie I was watching. Maybe this review is being typed up into some completely different movie about something that makes more relative sense.
Maybe this is similar to the video presented in the movie called "The Ring" Not the movie "The Ring" itself but the video on the VHS tape that is handed around inside the plot and is what the movie titled "The Ring" is chiefly about.
Upon watching the movie you go insane but the only relief you can receive from the insanity is to persuade another person to watch the movie and become insane by the very act in watching the movie.
If George Orwell had sex with a frog, and that frog had babies. The mummy frog worked very hard to send her little George Orwell/Frog child to school and that George Orwell/Frog child grew up and wrote a screenplay, this would be that screenplay.
I'm going to go now, I need to find a tunic and pants to make a Christmas pudding. There are waffles in my shoes and my hair needs more butter.
He Never Died (2015)
I agree, a little Meh
After seeing the preview to this I was filled with a little hope.
Now, I'm not a big fan of Henry Rollins. Here, however I find myself corrected. He's acting is great in this.
That's the main thing to the preview that stunned me and made me want to see it. Henry Rollins is really great in this. In fact I think if it was not for Henry Rollins this would be a massively more angry review. He's great in the preview, he's great in the movie but it's a pretty mundane movie.
First of all, I've clicked the spoiler button because my main gripe is about the plot. Henry Rollins plays Jack, who turns out to be Cain, from Cain and Able.
The Cain and Able story can be taken two ways. As good little Christian children we are told the story from the bible. Pretty simple and straight forward. But there is a lot more myth and lore surrounding the story than that quick wrap up.
I'm not going to go into all the details but what I'm saying is there a huge amount they could have done with the story line and with the characters.
But they didn't.
And again, I get a "Meh"
Extraction (2015)
Some one just made a movie without giving a toss.
I hate this.
I've said it before, specifically with that Godzilla movie that came out a few years ago.
You've got reasonably decent actors, you've got a reasonably decent script. you've got a decent budget and you poo it all away because you don't give a poo about how the movie actually turns out(I'm trying not to swear)
It's a huge waste.
When you think of how much it costs to make a movie, a movie with Bruce Willis in it, it's a massive waste.
The main woman that talks like a robot, a car chase that looks like two cars driving around a car park at 40 kmph. A lady who's not CIA brought into their "operation" just for the hell of it. She's a crazy driver for no apparent reason then there's a car chase a little later and she's not in it.
And no one said "Cut" Let's try that a different way. Maybe with a bit more passion or with something that makes more sense. But no.
Because apparently "Meh" is the new "Yaah"