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Reviews
Salt (2010)
Salt
Salt was one of several movies to sell Angelina Jolie as an action heroine which began when she appeared in Tomb Raider.
Evelyn Salt is a CIA agent who is accused by a Russian defector agent called Orlov of being a KGB sleeper agent. Her true mission is to kill the Russian president when he attends the funeral of the American vice president. The Russians have several sleeper agents operating in American soil.
Salt escapes from her boss Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber) and goes on the run. While trying to figure just who she is and clear her name. Salt also goes for the Russian president after hearing her lover has been kidnapped. Orlov clearly is playing another game.
The plot is both convoluted and illogically absurd. Jolie gives it her all in the action scenes but feels like a poor Jason Bourne imitation. The twist reveal was not difficult to guess.
Mission: Impossible: Fakeout (1966)
Fakeout
Daniel Briggs latest mission is to take on cartel drug dealer Anastas Poltroni (Lloyd Bridges.)
He is staying in a country that has no extradition treaty with the United States. Kidnapping is not an option.
Do Briggs has to devise a plan to somehow move Poltroni to a neighbouring country that does have an extradition treaty.
Poltroni is ruthless, arrogant and a smart cookie. He is no push over as Cinnamon tries to entice him as a lonely housewife. Later Briggs arrives as her angry husband.
Then there is Poltroni's henchman Hidalgo (Sid Haig) to deal with.
I found the episode over convoluted. You can sense that the no kidnapping rule was just there for no apparent reason.
At least Bridges kept it all interesting. Haig has a minor role.
Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars: Part Three (1975)
Pyramids of Mars: Part Three
Poor Laurence Scarman, the Doctor kept telling him that his brother Marcus was dead.
He would not listen, when Laurence sees Marcus, he tries to get through to his zombified brother under Sutekh's control. For a moment Laurence might have gone through to him, but Sutekh reasserts control.
The Doctor shows his less than human side when Sarah Jane finds him dead. The Doctor seems so unconcerned.
By this time the Doctor posing as one of the mummies manages to place some gelignite to explode the missile destined for Mars. Only for Sutekh to use his mental powers to reverse the explosion.
Marcus Sheard who is better known as a Doctor Who villain cuts a very sad figure. A good man trying to do the decent thing and met a nasty demise.
As for Sutekh, with his powers growing, the Doctor is fast running out of options.
Juice: Home (2023)
Home
Jamma has a spring in his step as he is going to move in with Guy. He goes to tell his mum about it. Just for council lady and bailiffs to arrive and evict them all from the community centre.
Jamma and his brother Isaac make a last ditch attempt to stave them off. It brings memories of all the times the boys moved about when they were younger.
The community rallies around them but Jamma and his mother were aware of the eviction. The others did not.
Juice rounded off with another episode that seems to be part autobiographical. It was all about belonging and the Rizwan family did move around a lot when they arrived in Britain.
There were some nice scenes as Jamma is weighed down by that radiator he was attached to.
Once again the father character was superfluous. He even has a scene where he confides in Guy that he feels like a spare part.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Rise of the Planet of the Apes that kickstarted the franchise in 2011 was good. The following two movies of the trilogy were not.
20th Century/Disney are continuing the series with another trilogy. This one set about 300 years later after the death of Caesar where humans have regressed even more.
Young Noa live in an eagle loving clan where they like to risk all to collect wild bird eggs.
One day Noa finds out that his clan has been abducted by the brutal Proximus Caesar who is enslaving other ape clans. He goes to rescue them and is followed by a human scavenger Mae who has a mission of her own.
Proximus Caesar is effectively the corruption of George Orwell's Animal Farm. Some apes are more important than others. He wants the arms that humans used, so he can be violent more efficiently.
The movie's plot is ponderous and too slow to get going. It has great special effects and does feel like a planet of the apes movie. It is a while before humans show up. Yet that it also its downfall. You just don't feel like rooting for the apes.
Peter Gunn: The Crossbow (1960)
The Crossbow
A psychopath has been killing random people with a crossbow. Arthur Copeland (Henry Daniell) calls in Peter Gunn to clear any possible suspicion towards him.
He has a crossbow that is missing. He also has a criminal record and it would not look good to the police.
After a few more deaths. Both Gunn and Lieutenant Jacoby find out that there is a link between Copeland and one of the victims, a judge.
Copeland had tried to buy off the judge for some land deals. It is enough for Copeland to be arrested.
I did like how the characters pondered if one of the victim's was not random. The others were random people so the actual target would get lost in the mix.
There is a good cameo from Theodore Marcuse as The Baron. An expert on the history of crossbows. It also allows the show to make a political statement about how the arms race has progressed. The Baron also has a painting of a nuclear explosion.
The Law and Mr. Jones: Cold Turkey (1961)
Cold Turkey
Eddie Simms (Leo Penn) is a successful jazz band leader who has launched a nightclub. Only the police arrest him as heroin was found in his case.
Eddie is looking at 2 to 5 years in jail for a first offence. He pleads his innocence to friend and attorney Abraham Lincoln Jones.
If it was not Eddie. Then it has to be one of his other band mates. Eddie goes to see them, the first one is Carbell Carney (Peter Falk.) He is already acting suspiciously.
There is not much of a whodunit here. Falk is the most well known guest star. It also allows him to showcase his acting ability as a junkie. Falk really goes to town as an addict anting his fix.
The show very much highlights the social issue of drug addiction and how to deal with their treatment. Eddie is reluctant to welcome back Carbell who framed him. Jones wants Eddie to give Carbell a second chance.
Resident Alien: Lovebird (2024)
Lovebird
Lovebird is a fun episode but also very cringey. Harry and Heather are in live and he agrees to go and move to her homeworld.
Until then they are having a lot of sex, mainly in Asta's car and not cleaning up the seats afterwards. They are also kissing a lot and using tongues.
All done without beaking sweat.
Now Harry does not need Asta and he and Heather now share everything. He becomes obnoxious to Asta and D'Arcy over a dinner party. Harry is rude and dismissive of them.
It is not all a bird brained love affair. Sheriff Mike Thompson gives Harry an important clue as to what the Greys want in the shape of a scientific formula.
Lovebird held a good balance between plot and some tomfoolery. It also felt like a holding episode, holding things back a little.
Lady in the Lake: Did you know Seahorses are fish? (2024)
Did you know Seahorses are fish?
Lady in the Lake is a prestige Apple TV series based on the novel by Laura Lippman.
It opens with a woman's body in the lake. The end of one life leads to the renewal of another woman's.
Set in Baltimore in the 1960s. Maddie Schwartz (Natalie Portman) is a middle class Jewish housewife who is getting increasingly frustrated with her husband Milton (Brett Gelman) at a time when a child has gone missing.
Maddie takes a drastic step to leave her husband and family to start afresh in a crummy apartment.
In the other side of tracks is Cleo Johnson (Moses Ingram) a black single mother juggling several jobs and community activism.
The first episode had a lot of world building. You can sense that this is an adaptation of a novel and it felt sprawling. Undercut with the knowledge that one character will have a tragic ending.
Maddie yearns for some fulfillment and has an escape route. When Cleo speaks out in a political meeting, there are identikit black men ready to shout her down. Sent by an underworld goon.
Thriller: File It Under Fear (1973)
File It Under Fear
Well let's get it of the way. Maureen Lipman is miscast as Liz Morris, the lonely dried up spinster on the library shelf at the age of 28!
Maybe they should had got an actress who looked more plain or frumpy. Liz works in a library where the male staff are more interested in the younger and more glamorous library assistants.
However when young women in the town are killed, with one of the library assistant's later going missing.
There is fear and paranoia as a deranged killer is on the loose. Liz has a clue about the culprit, an American stationed in a nearby US air force base. He has taken out some notorious novels.
The police dismiss her. She's just a frustrated spinster in their books.
Only one night Liz finds herself locked in the library and she is not alone.
Brian Clemens has wrote a proto feminist thriller. Slightly undone with a clunky and confusing finale. There are a lot of suspects but it does unravel as fast the collapsing library shelves.
I wondered if Liz even had the power to fire library staff. They would be council employees.
Batman: Give 'Em the Axe (1966)
Give 'Em the Axe
The revolting Riddler has the Batmobile. A book that will take him to some valuable Inca treasure. Now Batman and Robin could be turned into human candles.
Unfortunately he roams off so he cannot be sure if they escaped or not. It looks like the Riddler is responsible for the dynamic duo's demise. It was all a mirage.
Batman uses his polished belt buckle to reflect sunlight to make the barrel of volatile was explode. It got them both off the hook for now.
The Riddler deduces the Gotham City Museum contains a sarcophagus that houses the treasure.
Batman decides the best medicine for the Riddler. Is the chamber with medieval torture devices. Send in the iron maidens.
Gorshin is once again great. The riddles are groan inducing. You just have to laugh at the silliness of it all.
Batman: The Ring of Wax (1966)
The Ring of Wax
Frank Gorshin returns as the Riddler for the third time in the first season of Batman. It is nothing to be sniffed at.
Dutch angles at the ready. The demanded Riddler is full of cryptic puzzlers that has the boy wonder vexed, even waxed.
The Riddler has gatecrashed into the unveiling of the Batman wax statue. By replacing it with one of himself.
It is all a ploy. His real plan is to break into the Gotham library to steal a rare book on the Lost Treasure of the Incas.
Batman and Robin are on the case. They end up getting superglued and later dangling over hot wax. The Riddler is certainly burning the candle at both ends.
Dixon of Dock Green: Vagrant (1976)
Vagrant
The vagrant is question is Joe Conway (John Carson) who someone has tried to deliberately run him over.
Just who is Joe Conway? Maybe a wino who is a known grass responsible for putting several people behind bars.
The police follow up Bert Flower and Gerald Tate two villains who had a motive to take revenge on Joe. Both deny it.
A newspaper clipping suggests something different. Joe is in line for an inheritance, if he can prove his real identity.
It started off as pretty routine but it got better as it went along. Of course by that time it was obvious who was trying to run Joe over. Bert and Gerald ending up as comic relief.
I did like the scenes between Joe and his former wife. I thought how could she not recognise him, only to later admit she knew who he was all along. Just what is in a name.
Once again Dixon goes hi tech running car number plates on a computer. Bill Treacher makes an appearance as a witness.
Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense: Mark of the Devil (1984)
Mark of the Devil
The first story of Hammer House of Horror and Suspense starts off strongly. Dirk Benedict took time off The A Team to star as Frank Rowlett.
A desperate gambler knee deep in debt but he is about to marry a wealthy heiress Sara Helston (Jenny Seagrove.)
Instead of asking his fiance for money to pay off his debts. Frank goes to an illegal gambling den to win the money but he needs to hock an expensive watch for some cash.
Frank visits Hai Lee (Burt Kwouk) a tattooist and a known fence. Only Franks rips off Lee and kills him. Not before Lee puts on a tattoo dot on Frank.
Well Frank's luck has changed. He wins enough to pay off his debts. The wedding with Sara is quickly arranged. The only cloud is that the tattoo on Frank's chest is expanding.
It shows Frank killing Lee and soon the tattoo covers his face. He needs to find a way to unravel it but Frank has also left a trail of violence behind and the police are onto him.
The film has an interesting premise, I did like the creepy ending. There was a nasty bit as Frank tries to burn the tattoo with a red hot iron.
You have to credit Benedict that he tries to make his character appealing as Frank is a vile opportunist.
Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars: Part Two (1975)
Pyramids of Mars: Part Two
Sutekh's servant on Earth takes the body of a zombified Marcus Scarman. He can communicate with Sutekh and is tasked to build an Osiran war missile. It will be aimed at Mars.
The Doctor and Sarah team up with Laurence Scarman, who cannot comprehend that his brother is dead.
Sarah thinks the Doctor should just leave in the Tardis. As the world did not end in 1911. Only for the Doctor to take her to an alternate 1980, where the world is devastated. Sutekh has destroyed all life.
The Doctor needs to stop the missile being built. He also needs to stop Sutekh controlling the mummies.
There is a bleakness to the episode. Not because of the desolate future timeline. The poacher getting killed. Laurence's confusion about his brother's demise, then he enters the Tardis.
This is a well constructed episode. Giving enough exposition about who Sutekh is.
Yuma (1971)
Yuma
Ted Post directed movies such as Magnum Force. He was more known for his television work, especially westerns.
Yuma is a television movie and a proposed pilot written by Aaron Spelling. Marshal Dave Harmon (Clint Walker) is sent to clean up the town of Yuma.
Only the Marshall gets embroiled in a vendetta from cattle baron Arch King (Morgan Woodward.) The Marshal had arrested his brother who was gunned down in a mysterious jailbreak.
It looks like the Marshal did it but he manages to buy time to find the real culprit. Someone has set the Marshal up.
It could be linked to some greedy men in Yuma. There is a contract to deliver beef to Indian reservations, only it has not been delivered.
The Indians are starving and the beef has been diverted elsewhere.
Post struggles to make this interesting. It really is a television pilot within its narrow limitations. The mystery is not up to much. The main actors are sturdy enough, Walker is solid but bland.
Shine on Harvey Moon: The Party Line (1982)
The Party Line
Harvey Moon might only be a recent recruit for the Labour Party but the local party wants him to stand as a candidate for the council by election.
Harvey is not so sure but after talking to his mum. Who thinks that being a ruler is not for the likes of them. Harvey decides to go for it.
Only he has to present a united family front. So he has to rope in Rita with the promise of a better council house.
The Tory opponent Clarence Saxby representing the Progressive Party is willing to fight dirty. Exposing the united Moon family as a sham.
The problem is Saxby resembles a local flasher, which hampers his campaign.
Although shown in 1982. Marks and Gran had written a scene with deputy Prime Minister Herbert Morrison congratulating Harvey for winning, even if he did fight dirty to do it. Many years later Morrison's grandson Peter Mandelson would do what it takes to get Labour elected in 1997 and even 2024!
The Beiderbecke Connection: What Do We Have on Hockey Sticks? (1988)
What Do We Have on Hockey Sticks?
When not sending a couple of lazy cops to look for his missing hockey stick.
DI Hobson belated discovers that a major cyber criminal is in town. He has been staying with Trevor and Jill.
Big Al is grateful with all that Trevor has done for them. Especially with the headmaster signing the receipts.
The two lazy policemen do get closer to the stolen gym equipment and the textbooks. Only when they look at a school that is falling to bits, they know there is no case to answer.
Alan Plater made some pointed political jabs about the state of the country in 1988. Despite the witty banter, the plot was a weak link here. There really was not one.
The Jetty: Episode #1.1 (2024)
Episode 1
The Jetty is in fictional Hap Lake. In real life it was filmed in Hollingworth Lake in Littleborough, Lancashire.
The first episode starts with scenic views. A young woman called Riz talks to her podcast listeners. The disappearance of a schoolgirl many years earlier. It goes downhill from there.
The script is banal, the story is uninspired. DC Ember Manning (Jenna Coleman) and her younger partner investigate an arson attack on a boathouse. Her late husband used to own it, now it has been sold.
Ember was married an older man when she was young. Now in her investigations she comes across Miranda Ashby, a young injured teenager who might be pregnant to an older man.
In her years in the police force, Ember has not fathomed the dark underbelly of the place. That maybe older men have been abusing teenage girls.
The story is in two lines and it is obvious they will merge. This was a tedious opener. The acting was not up to much.
Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Three (2024)
Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Three
Taking up immediately from Part Two. The conclusion of Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths should be a DC fan favourite.
It is lost in abysmal storytelling and animation. It is overstuffed with lots and lots of characters. Both heroes and villains. By the end it is all mush and a dull beige one at that.
The film is overlong and the story becomes incoherent.
To be fair it matches the poor animation, some of it harks back to the cheap 1970s/80s style.
There are redeeming features. That is mainly due t the voice work. Standouts are Matt Ryan as John Considine, Mark Hamill as the Joker and Kevin Conroy in what is believed to be his final voice role as Batman.
Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars: Part One (1975)
Pyramids of Mars: Part One
Tom Baker's second season begins the actor finding his stride as the fourth Doctor. This story helped with its outside location shooting and the first foray into Hammer style Gothic horror.
The Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith land at UNIT headquarters, only it is the building as existed in 1911. The house is owned by Egyptologist Professor Marcus Scarman (Bernard Archard.)
He has been possessed by the malevolent force of Sutekh. An Osirian god who was entombed inside a pyramid in Egypt. A tomb that the Professor found.
Now Sutekh has broken free and wants to kill all humans.
At the grounds of the house the Doctor comes across Laurence Scarman, the professor's brother as they are chased by mummies unleashed by the fanatical Ibrahim Namin.
The 2024 series of Doctor Who heavily referenced this story in its two part finale. So it was a good time to revisit the Pyramids of Mars. Especially as an re-edited story with updated effects was also part of the Tales of the Tardis.
It is grounded in atmosphere, bot ancient Egyptian and Gothic. There is no build up in the first episode, the mayhem is there from the beginning. With an eerie apparition in the Tardis as Sarah Jane Smith sees something sinister.
Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Back for Christmas (1956)
Back for Christmas
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock himself. He adds some visual flare but the story is thin
Herbert Carpenter (John Williams) is the henpecked husband who plans to off his domineering wife Hermione (Isobel Elsom.)
Just before they go for a long holiday to California. They will be back for Christmas Hermione assures her friend. Maybe the stay will be longer according to Herbert.
He has been digging in the basement, making a wine cellar but the hole is just her size. Herbert plans to bash his wife in and bury her in the cellar. Then jet off to a new life in California.
It's early morning beer in the LA sun. Jus what could be the twist be. A bit out of the blue I thought but Hermione did plan a surprise for her husband.
Not much tension here as Herbert's plans are well telegraphed.
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em: Love Thy Neighbour (1973)
Love Thy Neighbour
You would think a script writer living across the road to Frank Spencer would be grateful of all the material that Frank would be providing him.
Here writer Faraday is driven around the bend by Frank. He has managed to break Faraday's typewriter. Then Franked walked off with his unfinished manuscript. It is left to his friend and fellow writer Osborne to bring some sanity. He is not impressed with Frank Spencer as he was mistaken for a doctor.
The trouble starts when Mrs Fisher, Betty's mother turns up to stay. She is not feeling well as her husband has turned up, even though he is away a lot and is rarely at home.
Frank has to call the doctor. As the public phone box is out of order, he goes to Faraday's house to make the call.
The episode is a litany of disasters. Betty cannot watch the television as the sound is not working. Frank has also damaged the phone box. He ends up being locked out of his own house. The neighbours are driven around the twist.
Extraordinary: Magic Bullets (2023)
Magic Bullets
Average first episode. Rubbish second episode. I can see why the main British broadcasters passed on making this.
It is not funny at all. Not even in an infantile way. I doubt even the young adult audience will find this humorous or something zeitgeisty.
Jen is still trying to find her supowers. She goes to an Indian restaurant to eat spicy food only to rush off to drink milk from the nearest supermarket.
Later she goes to a dental appointment as she is afraid of dentists, only the dentist can hear traumatic music. That is the dentist's superpower. Jen ends getting numbed down with Valium.
Only the cat Jizzlord who can turn into a human (Luke Rollason) showed some promise. Boy does this sitcom need it.
Mitch: Postman's Knock (1984)
Postman's Knock
John Duggan is the posman who becomes a have a go hero when he witnesses an armed robbery of a wages snatch and goes to stop them.
He is seriously injured and eventually dies from gunshot wounds. His death leads to a media frenzy. There are calls for a posthumous award for a man who tried to take on several armed robbers.
Tycoon and politician Harry Warren (Paul Freeman) wants to raise funds in his memory.
Mitch finds out that Duggan was drowning in debt. Not only did he have money problems. Mitch is convinced that he was in some way behind the planning of the robbery.
Maybe the actual robbers took his idea, double crossed Duggan by going ahead without him. Thereby not pay him his share. So when Duggan saw the robbery taking place, he intervened out of anger.
Probably the best episode of Mitch so far. Only because it starts from such a low base. Paul Freeman livens it up a bit as the cynical and charismatic businessman.