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Iainkelt
Reviews
I predatori della pietra magica (1988)
Truly awful
This is an "action" and "adventure" movie that actually contains neither. There are long periods where nothing happens...I mean literally nothing happens...like the main characters are going through the jungle or down the river and no one is talking, no clear goal is being pursued, and no one is fighting or shooting anything or anyone. The tiny bit of action that does exist is very poorly choreographed and thought out. The gun fights are laughable and boring, and the fist fights are even worse. Seriously, I saw this on German television one night and was hoping for some lightweight mindless fun and boy was I sadly let down. Terrible, and not terrible in a way that is funny to sit around and make critical comments about.
Troy (2004)
Somewhat entertaining, but not accurate
The movie Troy has some entertaining parts and Eric Bana does a nice job of playing Hector, but don't mistake this for anything close or faithful to the original story. As noted in the trivia/errors section for this movie, a number of characters die in the movie that survive in the poem (at least until later times), much of the equipment and battle techniques are wrong, and the core of the Achilles character is totally wrong. In the Illiad Achilles is vain, powerful, proud, and given to fits of anger and intense jealousy and hurt feelings. The movie attempts to show this by having him fly into a rage when his war prize is taken by Agamemmnon. Achilles is supposedly upset by this because he has some kind of deep feeling for her. In the poem, it is quite clear that he attached no particular importance to her other then as a prize he has won in battle. He is enraged when she is taken not because he loves her, but because it is a loss of face in front of the men to be upstaged by a king he feels is unworthy of the title. There is no love interest plot line(unless you want to suggest a homosexual one between Achilles and Patrocolus). I understand that the writer/director had to condense a lot of material, but a lot of these changes just don't make sense. The Illiad is not a poem about war. Otherwise, it wouldn't start the narrative nine years into a ten year siege that we also don't see the end of. It's about human passion and emotion and becoming more human, as well as telling an entertaining story of conquest and battle. It was the action movie blockbuster of its time but still had 1000% more heart and humanity then the adaptation. Whoever wrote this movie may have read the poem, but they clearly didn't understand it. Some nice acting, but a poor job of translating the story to the big screen.
Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
Terrible....simply terrible
OK, here is the deal. I love action movies and generally have no problem suspending a great deal of disbelief over plot holes or other implausible actions. However, this movie went far beyond minor flaws and went straight to the ridiculous. Let me get this straight. The police send a notorious gangster and cop killer (along with a number of other prisoners) on a bus with a grand total of two guards. They then are forced to stop at a precinct where precisely two cops are working, one of which is a day away from retirement and the other is a burn out. Apparently the building was about to be shut down so somehow the police decided that everyone else in the entire precinct got the night off for new year's eve. Right. But wait, it gets better. Gabriel Byrne shows up to take out Fishburne before he can rat him and other dirty cops out. (although we never find out anything about their relationship or dealings). Interestingly, the cops launching the assault on the precinct are in full SWAT gear with night vision goggles, assault rifles, the whole nine yards. Later on they even bring in a helicopter with MORE people in full gear. I'm not a cop, but I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz out of the station with an entire swat platoon worth of equipment without someone asking what you are doing. And the police helicopter??? In the supposedly terrible winter storm??? Also, no one near the precinct happens to hear or see this major siege going on with flash grenades and heavy rifle fire going off? I mean seriously, come on. I know this is set in Detroit, but even there it would raise suspicion on a supposedly top secret mission. I also love the fact that they find a Tommy Gun in the evidence room and somehow the gun still works and has bullets that are still intact and usable.
I could live with some of these problems if there weren't other glaring issues also. For one, the opening couple minutes of the movie are shot nicely in a very frenetic and hyperactive way and I thought was going to set the tone for the rest of the movie. Unfortunately I was wrong. The remainder of the film has no sense of pacing or tension or drama. The "characters" don't relate to each other in any way which is probably largely due to the fact that they aren't particularly interesting. There isn't enough interesting action to make this a good action movie, and there isn't enough character development/storytelling to make this a passable thriller/drama. The "relationship" between Hawke/Fishburn is the only thing that the director even tries to make interesting or intense. Oh and by the way, the final scene in the wilderness? Uh, I thought this was in the middle of a run down industrial section of Detroit and suddenly we are in the woods?? The acting isn't terrible in this movie, it is just that the directing and writing are atrocious. I really enjoy some of Hawkes, Fishburne, Byrne, Dennehy's other movies but this one is terrible.
Some Mother's Son (1996)
Well put together and shot film
Obviously the other "reviewer" of this film and other films touching upon any subject related to England and its colonies (past and present) went in with an opinion already formed. If you check the other films this user has commented on, its all the same complaint that no one ever sticks up for the British. For those of you who are capable of making decisions without resorting to cheap emotional attacks, this is an interesting film and one you might consider. Make no mistake, there are no easy answers to these issues, but one would hope that as we are able avoid censoring other peoples' viewing habits by use of incendiary references to 9/11.
This film is widely respected and still shown across the country at times on cable. Regardless of your personal political beliefs, it is a very interesting story that transcends the specific location of its events. Issues of honor, family, sacrifice, conflict and ambiguity flow through this film and the impression I got was much more about the struggle to come to terms with an extremely difficult situation as opposed to anything about the factual situation. Any reference to 9/11 and "glamorizing terrorists" when talking about this film is both ridiculous and offensive. Not to mention that it ignores the vast majority of the story and the difficulty of the situation on all sides. Whether or not you agree with the factual depiction, this is a very well acted and well put together film that chronicles some of the pain and anguish of a particularly unpleasant period of time and does so beautifully through its storytelling.
Black Samurai (1976)
Wow
Thats about how I would sum up this bad boy. I'm a big Jim Kelly fan and believe Black Belt Jones to be one of the great movies of the genre. This movie is not on the same level but was enjoyable in an extremely odd way. The terrible acting and dialogue, and special effects weren't surprising. But the bad fight scenes were. Especially when you consider Jim's talent and charisma. Seriously, they were terrible. I'm not sure who was responsible for the "editing," but they should never work in movies again. Even as a clerk at Blockbuster. The action doesn't make sense, people suddenly jump across the screen, sound overlays don't match up to the action on the screen and the overall fight choreography is awful. Apparently Jim was the only legit martial artist in this movie. Go into it with the right attitude of enjoying a terrible and cheesy movie and you'll have fun. But if you want to see him in a much better movie, try Black Belt Jones, Three the Hard Way, and even Hot Potato. I wish Jim had made more movies where he had sufficient backing.
Laurin (1989)
Not exactly horror, but a very good movie
This movie turned out to be quite a bit different then I thought it would be but in a good way. The subtitle would lead you to believe that Laurin is a horror movie but after a few minutes you realize it is something completely different. Previous comments refer to this movie as being surreal and I think that is about as close to an explanation as you can get. This is a gorgeously shot movie that utilizes great natural scenery combined with carefully chosen lighting which sets the mood in every scene. The director makes great use of imagery and color and overall this movie has a really ominous and eerie feeling to it all the way through. As I mentioned though, this isn't really a typical American "horror" movie considering the low body count. It is more cerebral then most horror movies and is artfully put together from beginning to end without being pretentious art house crap.
There are a wholllleeeee lot of interesting characters in this movie, many who have issues with repressed sexuality. The lead character Laurin sleeps in a crib and at first seems to be mentally age-regressed or slow...or something. Also present are the local Priest and his son who both seem to have a number of "issues" relating to childhood and sexuality. Don't forget the crossdressing sissy school-boy, the dope smoking granny, and spying on people in the bathtub.
If you're looking for gore or high body count then keep going but if you are open to something a little more in the vein of maybe David Lynch then I highly recommend Laurin.