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Inkubus (2011)
A movie that has a whole lot of nothing ever happening
Inkubus (Robert Englund) spends the evening tormenting the unfortunate members of a police station skeleton crew and Diamante (William Forsythe), the detective who nearly put him away years ago. While it may seem like all fun and games for the crafty demon, he has two objectives: settle a score with Diamante and find a new host for rebirth so that he may live on for another century.
While the film boasts quite a few recognizable names and faces, the dialog is feeble, in stark contrast to the menacing tone and visuals. It's not quite campy and has no flow. A lot of the banter between Inkubus and the officers are laundry lists of past victims dating back to the beginning of time. I get it, he's killed a lot of people, I don't need to hear every name and date. In fact, Inkubus talks more about murdering people than actually killing them.
Englund and Forsythe are always a treat to watch but, yeesh, the acting by the rest of the cast is shameful. It's a baby step above porno-grade. (This coming from someone who watches a buttload of indie and low budget horror.) Speaking of pornos, there are two sex scenes, neither of which contains any nudity, despite the casting of rather well-endowed actresses.
The entire movie is one, long teaser of things to come and therein lies its colossal weakness. Scene after scene, I was itching for Inkubus to go postal on someone, anyone. Is that too much to ask from a beast that, in the beginning of the film, shows up with a decapitated head and a vehicle adorned with dismembered limbs and internal organs? I was both disappointed and relieved when the movie was done. Disappointed because the final showdown between Inkubus and his rival, Diamante, had ended so abruptly. Relieved because I was finally put out of my misery.
Skip this unless you're like me and hellbent on watching every horror ever released.
Resurrection County (2008)
Intense, well-acted, tip-top visually, but no breath of fresh air
Two urban couples head to the countryside for some downtime; however, they're quickly introduced to the other side of 'roughing it' in the wilderness when the men's ATV excursion makes a collision course straight for hell, where the locals aren't keen to strangers. After a standoff with a couple of ill-tempered hillbillies, the residents of Resurrection County go from hostile to downright murderous, out to avenge the death of one of their own.
It's your run-of-the-mill redneck torture flick - city folks wander off into no man's land for some fresh air, only to end up being stalked (sometimes devoured, but not in this case) by a group of inbred loonies who possess the strength of Hercules and the Hulk combined. Lo and behold, the actors and actresses, a bunch of no-names, do a pretty damn decent job. The make-up department and special effects crew deserve a round of applause for creating very realistic blood and gore on a limited budget.
It falters midway through, courtesy of some slow-moving and unnecessary scenes that should have ended up on the cutting room floor, as well as succumbing to the stereo-typical errors that characters in horror movies make. There is a shotgun scene in the beginning that will satisfy sadists but, while gory throughout, there really isn't much on-screen torture or anything that qualifies as extreme, not to veteran horror fans anyway.
Although predictable, it's still intense with genuine performances, but lacks anything fresh or remarkable.
Beastly (2011)
My tween daughter enjoyed this, I almost fell asleep
Kyle (Alex Pettyfer, I Am Number Four) is a handsome, popular, rich kid who is also a grade-A jerk but blame that on his conceited, inattentive father who is more concerned about his career as an anchorman than with his own son. At least that's what the film wants you to do. Like father, like son.
After Kyle plays a cruel prank on another student, Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen, Full House), she transforms him into a bald, boil-covered, tattooed freak. It turns out Michelle Tanner grew up to be a witch dressed in emo-inspired haute couture clothing. Oops, not exactly the person you want to invite to the prom and then publicly humiliate. He has one year to find someone to fall in love with him or he's cursed to stay ugly as hell forever. A blind girl, maybe?
Nope, Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical), a fellow student who moves in with him after he saves her and her father from muggers. The blind person turns out to be a tutor, Will (Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother), hired by Kyle's father. Kyle was moved into a place of his own after doctors told his father that, um no, a face transplant is not a viable option.
We are all familiar with the tale of Beauty and the Beast so we all know where the characters are headed and what happens at the end. This isn't the kind of film for special effects or over-choreographed fight scenes so that leaves the acting.
Both Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens are easy on the eyes but their acting skills have yet to be fully developed, or developed at all. It seems like Pettyfer is trying but Hudgens has one or two facial expressions in her repertoire. I've seen better acting from my daughter's sock puppets. The saving grace is Neil Patrick Harris whose comedic timing is sublime. He breathes some life into this flat fantasy.
Parents, this is okay to let your tween/teen watch but I don't recommend it.
The Creeping Flesh (1973)
Lee & Cushing are great but the beautiful Heilbron steals the show
In the late 19th century, scientist Emmanuel Hildern (Peter Cushing) returns home to London with a prehistoric skeleton that he acquired in Papua New Guinea. While cleaning the skeleton, he learns that water triggers a horrific reaction - reanimation. He slices off the finger, now covered in flesh, and preserves it for later experiments.
While having breakfast with his daughter, Penelope (the breathtaking Lorna Heilbron), Emmanuel reads a letter informing him of his wife's death. Unbeknowst to Penelope, her mother has been in an insane asylum since she was a little girl. Fearful that his wife's mental illness may be hereditary, Emmanuel has sheltered his daughter at their estate with only the servants to keep her company. She's not allowed outside, except for short walks within the gated premises.
Emmanuel travels to the institution where his wife died. He meets up with his half-brother, James (Christopher Lee), who happens to be the insane asylum's director and a competing scientist. Emmanuel was always the favorite of the two siblings, the one destined to achieve greatness, so it's with great pleasure that James tells him that he is in the running for the prestigious Richter Award. In addition, he will no longer fund Emmanuel's transcontinental trips.
I'm not familiar with most horror predating 1980. I rate this somewhere between 60%-70% (about a 6.5/10). I've never watched a movie, horror or other genre, with so much anticipation and dread for what may come. The climax is truly a frightening one. The suspense is nail-biting! Lee and Cushing are great but it's the beautiful Heilbron who steals the show. I want to watch more films she stars in.
I recommend this to horror fans who want to explore the classics. No gore, torture, or loud music cues to instill a false sense of fear. I liked it!
Zombie Strippers! (2008)
This film's biggest mistake is smothering us w/social & political rhetoric
A group of soldiers named the Z-Squad is summoned to Nebraska to take care of a zombie outbreak at a government commissioned lab headed by Dr. Chushfeld. With the United States at war with so many countries, George W. Bush has sanctioned the development of a virus that reanimates dead soldiers. During the brouhaha with the undead, Byrdflough, one of the Z- Squad members is bitten. After witnessing the shooting of a lab assistant who is infected, he panics and manages to escape from the facility, ending up at Rhino, an underground strip club.
The seedy establishment is run by Ian (Robert Englund) who despises the women and is off-put by their affection toward him, as well as a bit OCD with his can of disinfectant spray. Upon the arrival of an angel-faced newcomer, Jessy, Rhino's most popular dancer, Kat (Jenna Jameson), is attacked and infected by Byrdflough. Competition brews as they see Kat command more money and attention as a zombie stripper. One by one, they succumb to their desire to become one of the undead so that they can steal the spotlight for their own.
There isn't too much to say about this gory, sleazy, ham fest. You want boobs? You want zombies? You want porn stars with boobs as zombies? You got it but be warned that the exotic dancing isn't all that titillating (hello, there's a pole there - use it!) until their eyes are sunken in and their flesh is puckered and grey. Even though Jenna Jameson is billed as the main attraction in this film, sexy Shamron Moore outshines her as Kat's bitchy, resentful rival - both in looks and acting. She's prettier, curvier, and doesn't have Botox-injected lips the size of Texas.
The film's biggest mistake is smothering us with social and political rhetoric. Please leave that to Michael Moore or Fox News. The satire fails miserably. It's injected into the movie without any thought or concern about who is spewing it, when, how, where, or why. Zombie Strippers! works as a campy blood-and-guts fest but not as some wanna-be philosophical caveat.
The decapitations, zombie feasts, limb removals, disembowelments, and other nasty, revolting displays of carnage will have splatter hounds howling with joy. Some of the CGI is downright laughable but so is the rest of the movie.
The Shrine (2010)
Sincerely creepy movie w/the right amounts of fright & gore
A hard-nosed journalist, Carmen (Cindy Sampson, Supernatural), her boyfriend, Marcus (Aaron Ashmore, Smallville), and an intern, Sara (Meghan Heffern, Almost Heroes), travel to Alvania to investigate the disappearance of Eric Taylor, the last person of many reported to have vanished after visiting the small Polish village. In the distance is a large patch of dense fog hovering above the forest, the same phenomenon documented in Eric's journal. The three of them make their way to the woods, only to be confronted by a group of men who dissuade the trio to proceed any further.
However, Carmen convinces Marcus and Sara to examine the fog following a confession that her boss thinks she and Sara are back in the states covering a scoop on bees. Her career is ruined if she doesn't return with a killer story. Sara enters the fog first and then Carmen, while Marcus stays just beyond the fog's edge. At different times, both women stumble upon a menacing statue, seemingly serving no purpose other than to scare the bejesus out of anyone who has the misfortune to encounter it.
After fleeing the fog, all three are hunted down by the same men who warned them to leave. Marcus is forced by gunpoint to dig his own grave while Carmen and Sara are brought to a secret sacrificial chamber, stripped of all of their clothing and made to wear the same white gown that they found the deceased Eric dressed in. This is the point of the movie where I almost shut it off, presuming it to be another torture porn flick. That may be your thing but it's not mine.
It turns out that this low-budget horror movie written and directed by Jon Knautz is a well-crafted thriller with better acting than most of its genre, with the exception of Ashmore who appears really damn angry about everything throughout the entire film. The build is slow but those who have the tenacity to stick it through will be rewarded. This is sincerely a creepy movie with the right amounts of fright and gore.
Speaking of gore, there are a couple of scenes in particular that may give you the dry heaves if you're not a horror veteran but if you can handle a film like the The Ruins, you can survive The Shrine. I'd endorse this flick to mainstream audiences who want to watch a horror movie now and then to experience some cheap scares without sex/nudity/torture.
Paul (2011)
It has its moments of utter hilarity
A couple of British comic book geeks, Graeme Willy (Simon Pegg, Shaun of the Dead) and Clive Gollings (Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz), are in America for a science fiction convention and a subsequent RV roadtrip to the famed Area 51. En route, they meet an alien Paul who has been inhabiting a top-secret military base for the past 60 years. Desperate to leave Earth, he convinces the duo to help him get to the mother ship's landing area. They soon find out that Paul is being chased by a relentless government agent, Agent Zoil (Jason Bateman), who enlists the assistance of two inept feds, Haggard and O'Reilly.
They end up kidnapping Ruth (Kristen Wiig), a sheltered, unyielding religious zealot, which prompts her father to join in the pursuit. Along the way, they visit Tara (Blythe Danner), the human whose dog Paul crashed his ship on six decades earlier. After years of ridicule and harassment, she's relieved to see Paul does indeed exist. Graeme, Clive, Paul, and Tara flee the premises after Zoil, Haggard, and O'Reilly raid her house. With the agents and Ruth's father hot on their heels, can they get Paul safely to his mother ship in time?
Fans of the zany U.K. pair will relish this sci-fi/comedy collaboration featuring the voice talents of Seth Rogan as Paul. It's directed by Greg Mottola who also directed the rude, crude Superbad and Paul follows in its footsteps with a lot of swearing and vulgar humor. Not as laugh out loud funny as Shaun of the Dead but it has its moments of utter hilarity. Sci-fi nerds will appreciate many of the references to movies like Close Encounters of the Third Kind and E.T., to name a couple. The CGI Paul blends seamlessly in with the flesh and blood characters. I loved the cameo by Sigourney Weaver - she's still kicking ass and looks beautiful and cool doing it.
I do have to warn Christians and other religious types to avoid this movie if you can't take a pretty harsh mocking of your beliefs. Ruth's entire life is measured by her strict moral code, only for her faith and Bible instructed principles to be shattered by the knowledge of the universe that Paul telepathically shares with her. She transforms from a wholesome girl (although, wholesome may not be the right adjective, considering she wears a shirt that has Jesus shooting Darwin) to a cussing, pot-smoking, sin-seeking fugitive. Just a warning.
A Nightmare in Las Cruces (2011)
If you like Dateline ID & 48 Hours, you'll like this documentary
The documentary begins in pitch black with the chilling 911 call made by 12 year old Melissa Repass, conscious after being shot five times. As she counts the bodies on the floor for the dispatcher, three of them children, you realize the murders at the Las Cruces Bowl in New Mexico are truly a nightmare. Minutes before the call, two men stole money from the safe and then shot seven people, execution style in their heads; the youngest of the victims, two year old Valerie Teran, who later died at the hospital. Miraculously, two others survived, Stephanie Senac and Ida Holguin. The cold-blooded killers have never been found.
The film includes interviews with detectives, the 911 dispatcher who took Melissa's call, the survivors, and the dead victims' families that will have grown men weeping. Midway, there is an attempt at detective work by questioning the owner of the bowling alley, Ronald Senac, who was out of town during the incident. It's a notable effort but the interviewer often stumbles over the questions - slightly annoying. A completely unnecessary part of the film is a short blurb of the director, Charlie Minn, and crew, which has some people questioning his motives.
At an hour and 43 minutes, the film stretches on an hour too long. A Nightmare in Las Cruces packs its punch in the first half hour. About mid-point, it starts losing steam and you can sense the desperate attempts to keep the filler going with questions aimed at evoking waterworks, at which point you're hopeful that the provocation ends soon. How long do these poor people need to be tortured? And are the questions being asked bringing anyone any closer to catching the monsters who looked a two year old baby in the eyes and then shot her in the forehead?
If you watch investigative shows like Dateline and 48 Hours, you'll like this documentary. It's an emotional roller coaster ride and, ultimately, there is no closure for the audience or the victims and victims' families. It's very depressing.
100 Feet (2008)
Watch this only if you're a die-hard horror fan, otherwise skip it
Marnie (Famke Janssen) returns home for three years of house arrest after serving jail time for murdering her abusive husband, Mike. Shanks, the cop assigned to keep an eye on her happens to be her dead husband's partner. He's less than enthusiastic about her release and harasses Marnie every chance he gets. Add to that a sister who is bitter about their mother sacrificing her energy and finances to pay for Marnie's defense lawyers.
Ostracized and lonely, unable to leave the confines of the house, she spends her days cleaning, reading, and eventually befriending a neighbor boy, Joey (Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl), who delivers her groceries. He's the only one who will speak to her or even acknowledge her presence.
Enter the weird CGI ghost of Mike - half Michael Myers and half knock- off Japanese horror creation. He terrorizes Marnie subtly at first but as the film progresses he becomes Hercules, knocking her down stairs, throwing her against walls, giving her numerous bruises, and attempting to shred her hand to pieces. Desperate to rid herself of Mike's spirit, she removes all of his clothes and other belongings but it doesn't work. Will Mike ever leave her alone?
This is a genuinely scary movie at times. The camera angles, the creaking floorboards, and long silences create a lot of tension. For the gore hounds, there is an impressive fight scene between Mike and one of Marnie's visitors. What works so well in the first half of the movie is ignored completely in the last half. The implied turns into an obnoxious, visual assault. It's like the ghost of Mike is training for some underworld UFC and he's using Marnie as an unwilling sparring partner.
Watch this if you're a die-hard horror fan. Otherwise, skip it and go see Insidious or rent The Others.
Red Riding Hood (2011)
The Village + Twilight = an hour and 40 minutes of torture
M. Night Shyamalan's The Village meets Twilight, giving birth to an hour and 40 minutes of torture. It makes sense. Catherine Hardwicke directed the sparkly vampire teen romance. Red Riding Hood plays out in the same fashion - brooding young hotties fighting for the same girl, in this case Amanda Seyfried as Valerie. (I did go into this film not knowing who directed it. I didn't find out until afterward so I viewed it unbiased.)
For many years, the townspeople have kept the beast away by offering it an animal sacrifice every month. With the appearance of the blood red moon, its hunger can only be sated by taking a human life, Valerie's sister. A grieving Valerie returns home to find out that her parents have arranged a marriage with Henry, a wealthy suitor, but she's in love with Peter, a lowly woodcutter (who, by the way, not only can't bring home the bacon but can't act to save his life).
Seeking revenge and justice for the slaying, the people of the village summon Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), a renowned werewolf hunter. He warns them that the beast takes human form during the day, inciting paranoia in everyone, including Valierie who wonders if her true love could be the one who killed her sister. The watered down romance suddenly turns into a whodunit mess.
Despite the trailer and theatrical poster that emit a dark vibe, horror/thriller fans will be grossly disappointed. Even with veterans Gary Oldman, Julie Christie, and Virginia Madsen, the film is constantly bogged down by its simple dialog and cheesy CGI. There is also a lot of nonsensical filler that stretches 10 to 15 minutes at a time. Why can't Hollywood ever offer a decent ending to a movie? It doesn't have to contain a clever twist but it shouldn't be so anti-climactic.
You may think I'm being harsh but, in fact, I bumped my rating up to a generous 40% because of Oldman. Tweens and teens will like the re- imagined fairytale but serious movie-goers will probably walk away frustrated.
Unknown (2011)
Escapist entertainment that relies mostly on its leading man, Neeson
Liam Neeson is Dr. Martin Harris, a scientist who travels to Germany with his wife, Liz (January Jones, Mad Men), for a bio-tech conference. Before checking into the hotel, he realizes he's left his briefcase and passport behind so he flags down a taxi driven by Gina (Diane Kruger, Inglorious Basterds). Her expert driving skills sends them careening off of a bridge and into the drink. She manages to save herself and Martin, then flees the scene, not wanting to risk deportment because she's an illegal immigrant from Bosnia.
After waking up from a coma, Martin can only remember who he is and why he's in Berlin. He finds his way back to the hotel where he finds Liz, only she denies that she's his wife or that she even knows him. Worse yet, she's with a man (Aidan Quinn) claiming to be her husband and the real Dr. Martin Harris. Lacking any identification to prove that he is who he claims to be, he's removed from the premises. And the mystery surrounding the dual Dr. Harrises begins.
He tracks down Gina and, together, they try to understand what is happening to Martin and why Liz denies that she's his wife. They're lousy detectives. If it weren't for the mystery men constantly in their faces (I don't want to give too much away), they'd be wandering aimlessly around Berlin.
Yes, there are plot holes and more than enough "reeeeally?" moments, but Neeson makes it all worthwhile. At 58, he's still got it. The action is intense, the suspense and thrills are the perfect tone, and the mystery is well done. It's up to you to decide whether the twist at the end is satisfactory. This isn't a flawless film. It's escapist entertainment that relies mostly on its leading man. Unknown is The Bourne Supremacy with less action.
Priest (2011)
High flying stunts don't make vampires more intimidating
After the last war between vampires and humans, the Church sets up a walled off society where the people are oppressed and controlled by the constant reminder that "to go against the Church is to go against God". After learning his niece, Lucy (Lily Collins, The Blind Side), was abducted by a vampack, Priest (Paul Bettany) disobeys the Church by traveling to the wastelands to rescue her. Her boyfriend, the town's sheriff (Cam Gigandet, Pandorum), accompanies him on his quest, along with Priestess, who defies the Church's orders to bring him back dead or alive.
The three of them go on a mission to track down Black Hat, another Warrior Priest who was believed to have been killed in Mira Sola, but turns out to have been turned into the first vampire/human hybrid by the vampire Queen. He plans to dispatch an army of vampires via train into the Church's city and destroy all inhabitants there. Priest, Priestess, and Hicks are now saddled with two missions - save Lucy and stop the train before it reaches the city.
Priest is a fusion of western, post-apocalyptic, science fiction, fantasy, and horror genres very loosely based on a manhwa (Korean comic), Hangul, by Hyung Min-woo. The animated sequences in the start of the film are awesome. It's a shame that it all turns to drivel once the real actors hit the screen. Paul Bettany, who will forever be the most perfect Geoffrey Chaucer in my mind, has certainly been choosing some, uh, interesting roles lately. But don't get me wrong, I dig him as a vampire slaying action hero just as much as an English poet.
This is a fine flick to veg out on but, Hollywood, please stop with the crappy CGI vampires/monsters/creatures/animals already. The familiars (humans given a pathogen to make them subservient to the vampires) look cool. The vampires do not. Do vampires really need to be slimy looking airborne acrobats? No, high-flying stunts don't make them more intimidating. The fights are stylishly choreographed but when the action dies down, it's all too easy to zone out. Not surprisingly, the movie is visually stunning - from the dark, claustrophobic city ruled by the Church to the dry, barren landscape of Jericho.
Despite what you may assume, there isn't a heavy or overbearing religious theme. Priest is nothing profound or cutting-edge but most audiences will probably enjoy it for what it is.
Hanna (2011)
Not for action junkies looking for a quick adrenaline fix
Hanna Heller (Saoirse Ronan, Atonement) lives in solitude in the Finland wilderness with her father, Erik (Eric Bana), an ex-CIA agent. For the past 16 years, he has been training her to be the perfect assassin. She is a skilled hunter and fluent in many languages but she longs for the outside world. Realizing that she is finally ready, he gives Hanna a transmitter box which she uses to dispatch her location to Marissa Wiegler (Cate Blanchett), another CIA agent.
Leaving his daughter behind, Erik sets out to Berlin where Hanna is to meet up with him after she has killed Marissa. She's captured, taken to Morocco, and interrogated by a double for Agent Wiegler. Believing the double is the real Marissa, Hanna snaps her neck and flees from the facility, but not before getting her hands on classified files about her own DNA. An intensive manhunt for Erik and Hanna begins.
You should know that this isn't your typical action film fueled by crazy spurts of adrenaline. No car chases through busy streets, superhuman stunts, or fiery explosions. In fact, it's more of Hanna's coming-of-age story - her first real friend, experiencing the power of music and dance after wondering about it for so long, encountering technology and electricity after a decade and a half of kerosene lamps, being with a boy. This is a bit of a Euro Art House film so if you're looking for a movie like Salt, you'll be vastly disappointed.
As a David Lynch fan (director Joe Wright cited him as a major influence), I give Wright props but The Chemical Brothers score is invasive at times. As a stand-alone soundtrack, it is freaking awesome. What Daft Punk does for Tron doesn't always work in Hanna. Take Hanna's escape from the CIA safe house in Morocco, for instance. The blaring track and flickering lights are enough to put the average person into a rockin' epileptic seizure.
Recommended to those who have the patience to let their tea steep but not to action junkies looking for a quick adrenaline fix.
Parents (1989)
Playful satire on the facades put on my human monsters
Michael Laemle (Bryan Madorsky) and his parents (Randy Quaid and Mary Beth Hurt) move to Massachusetts where they quickly set up the perfect suburban life. His father, Nick, secures a well paying job at Toxico and his mother, Lily, is the consummate housewife who spends most of her time in the kitchen. From the outside, they're living the American dream but something sinister lurks behind their doors - Michael's parents.
He's befriended by Sheila, his father's boss's daughter. He confides in her about his strict father but can never find the right words to voice his other fear about the source of the meat he avoids at every meal. He's equally as hesitant to open up to the school counselor (Sandy Dennis), a free-spirited social worker who's honed in on his perceptive yet odd nature. The stronger his curiosity grows, the worse his nightmares become. Where exactly is the mystery meat coming from?
Although billed as a dark comedy, I failed to see any humor in the story. This is a bleak, deranged, horrific cannibalism tale but also a playful satire on the facades put on by human monsters, ones that could very well be tucking you in at night. Don't let the visual horror distract you from the underlying message of Parents.
Randy Quaid aces his character with such perfection, you'll squirm with uneasiness every time he has a confrontation with Michael. Mary Beth Hurt is the polar opposite as the sweet, doting mother and she too nails it. Bryan Madorsky's performance as the intuitive and very aware Michael is thankfully subtle, as it should be. The set designs, the clothing and hair styles, and golden oldies like "Chantilly Lace" and "Purple People Eater" will have you believing you're in the 1950s with the characters. You'll either love or hate Angelo Badalamenti's orchestral score, as he has a distinctive eerie sound to his compositions.
The gore and violence are minimal and the scares are more of the lingering kind, like the lump in your throat that gets bigger and bigger and when the time comes to scream, you can't. Every horror fan should see this. It bombed at the box office back in 1989 (budget of $3 million with a measly $870,532 in gross profits) but it's gained a cult following with many of its most recent reviewers rating Parents at the highest level. I wouldn't go so far as to say this is a masterpiece or brilliant horror but it's definitely one to watch.
Parents, do not ever, ever, ever let your child see this movie unless you want your little one scarred for life.
They Wait (2007)
Decent scares but terrible acting & not a lot of entertainment value
Sarah (Jaime King), her husband, Jason, and their six year old son, Sammy, go to Vancouver for Jason's Uncle Raymond's funeral. During their stay at Aunt Mei's house, Sammy starts seeing ghosts. He ends up in a coma at the hospital after nosing around the basement of Uncle Raymond's warehouse. Soon, Sarah sees them, too.
Desperate for answers, she visits a local pharmacist who shows her a sketch of the spirit with Sammy - her skeletal hand reaching for his exposed heart - that he drew a year ago. He tells her the spirit has imprisoned her son's soul and Sarah has until dawn on the last day of Ghost Month to find out what the spirit's motives are or Sammy will be lost forever.
The R rating has me baffled. There are some disturbing images but not near as gory as The Grudge and that's rated PG-13. There is no sex or nudity, not even a side boob. I don't even recall a single swear word. This is more mystery & suspense than it is horror, in my opinion. The scares are good but the acting is terrible. Pei-pei Cheng as Aunt Mei and the adorable Henry O as Sammy are very believable but King is a whiny mess and Chen doesn't understand the use of facial expressions.
I'm Asian, my husband is Caucasian, and we have two Amerasian daughters. I'm rating this on the low side because the movie was a letdown and only partially entertaining, not because I have an issue with inter-racial couples.
Source Code (2011)
Action/sci-fi/thriller w/a Hitchcockian/The Twilight Zone feel
Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) wakes up on a train to discover he's assumed the identity (and body) of someone named Sean Fentress. Confusion quickly sets in for the military pilot - his last memory is of a mission gone haywire in Afghanistan. Eight minutes later, after the train explodes, he's strapped inside a cold, dark pod. He is soon contacted by Goodwin (Vera Farmiga) who bombards him with questions about the train and the explosion. Struggling to make sense of what happened, he fires back with questions of his own. Careful not to disclose too much information, Goodwin instructs him that he has eight minutes to track down the bomb and the bomber. Any deviation from the mission, including trying to save passengers, is highly discouraged.
He's transported back into Sean's body over and over until, finally, he speaks to a man who appears to be in charge of the mysterious operation, Dr. Rutledge (Jeffrey Wright). It turns out that Colter is in a project called Source Code, which allows him to relive the last eight minutes of Sean's life in order to gather valuables clues about the bomber. For Rutledge, it's about the objective. For Colter, it's now about saving the lives of the passengers, particularly Christina (Michelle Monaghan), the pretty and flirtatious passenger he's steadily been growing feelings for. One problem: Source Code is not time travel - it's time reassignment. It's metaphysics, quantum theory, and a host of other scientific concepts that will likely fly over most viewers' heads but don't worry, you don't need to understand how Source Code works in order to enjoy the movie.
Source Code has been mentioned with and compared to Nolan's wildly popular dream invasion flick, Inception. Having seen both, I urge you not to go into Source Code expecting an Inception knock-off. While both films have their strengths, I found Jones' action/sci-fi/thriller miles better with its character development. Another plus is that it has a very Hitchcockian/The Twilight Zone feel to it in that it relies on its story and the actors, rather than extravagant CGI and a dramatic soundtrack. Having said that, as much as I gripe about the over-use of CGI, the special effects in this movie are rather underwhelming and a bit dated. No biggie, though. This isn't the kind of movie that relies on grandiose computer generated imaging and it's certainly not hindered by any lack of it.
Ironically, I loved this film (and its delightfully dreamy leading man) until the last eight minutes. A 9/10 knocked down to an 8/10 for its ridiculously sentimental, typical Hollywood "and they all lived happily ever after" ending. I'm not a pessimist. I root for the underdog. I believe in soulmates and love at first sight. I like to see karma reward the good guy or gal but closure should be a resolution that makes sense for the characters and viewers in a way that doesn't completely insult either parties. There's poignant (frozen kiss) and then there's sickly sweet (let's go look at our reflections in the big, shiny thing).
I think Source Code is more suited for mainstream audiences than films like Inception or 12 Monkeys so I give it the go-ahead to most of you out there.
Mary and Max. (2009)
A complicated tale meant for adults
Mary and Max is a multi-award winning animation that chronicles the relationship between Mary Daisy Dinkle (Toni Collette), a young, insecure girl in Australia who is the only daughter of an alcoholic mother and a neglectful father, and Max Jerry Horowitz (Philip Seymour Hoffman), an overweight, panic-ridden man in New York. One day, Mary picks the first name she finds in a phone book and sends a letter, along with a chocolate bar, prompting a decades long correspondence of letters and chocolate treats. Although Max has longed for a real friend (his imaginary friend sits on a stool reading all day), Mary's sensitive questions propel him into anxiety attacks, one so severe he ends up in a mental institution.
Many years pass with no mail from Max. In between waiting for word from him, Mary becomes smitten with the next door neighbor boy, Damien (Eric Bana), and continues helping her agoraphobic neighbor, Len. Considering advice from his therapist, he finally writes to Mary and confides in her that he has Asperger's Syndrome which affects his social interaction. She decides to enter into university to study mental disorders and ends up penning a highly acclaimed book with Max as her case study. The news is not well-received by Max and he cuts off communication with her, which sends Mary into a drug-induced, drunken stupor (after shredding her hard work to pieces and damning her career). On the verge of suicide, she wonders if Max will ever forgive her.
Let me immediately point out that this is not for young children or tweens. Don't be wooed by the cartoon cover art or pictures of adorable Mary Daisy Dinkle with her clunky glasses and red barrette. It's a complicated tale meant for adults. If you are unable to process rather gloomy, disheartening material without being able to bounce back emotionally, avoid this movie. Aside from the celebration of enduring friendship, there isn't much to smile about. Alcoholism, mental illness, loneliness, pill popping, heartbreak, four deaths, overeating, involuntary manslaughter, schoolyard bullying... a small list of the obstacles the characters struggle to overcome.
The animation is beautifully done and the characters are a peculiar, quirky bunch with a myriad of flaws but endearing in their own ways. The stop-motion figures on the screen breathe life, full of raw, human emotion in such a profound manner, it can be a distressing, suffocating experience. That's balanced with some incredibly kooky humor. The storyline flows effortlessly but, ultimately, it won't appeal to a wider audience. High praise for writer and director, Adam Elliot, for having a unique vision and sticking to his guns. There has been mixed reviews on Barry Humphries' narration. Personally, I found his voice very soothing.
This film appeases two long-time love affairs, claymation and stop- motion. It tickled my funny bone at the right moments but it was too melancholy, even for me.
Kynodontas (2009)
Not for the casual viewer but should be seen by film fans
Three children (Aggeliki Papoulia, Christos Passilas, and Mary Tsoni) live a sheltered existence with their parents (Christos Stergioglou and Michele Valley) who control them to the extreme in order to protect them from the rest of society. They invent an older brother who, they tell the children, ventured outside the confines of the estate and was killed by a vicious, flesh eating cat. The parents improvise new definitions for words like sea (an armchair) and zombie (little yellow flower) to further isolate them from anything beyond their bizarre, manipulated microcosm.
The children's only link to the outside world is Christina (Anna Kalaintzidou), a security guard at the father's workplace, who is paid to relieve the son of his sexual urges. One day, Christina offers a present to the oldest daughter but she is obligated to give her something in return - oral sex. The family structure starts to unravel once Christina is gone and the oldest daughter is forced to replace her role as the son's personal prostitute. Whatever cruel punishment her father exacts, the oldest daughter isn't deterred from rebelling and, eventually, going to great lengths to gain her freedom.
Dogtooth, original Greek title of Kynodontas, is shocking and depraved. This is not for most people and most definitely not for anyone under the age of 18. With multiple sex scenes (a few including incest and a very graphic fellatio clip from a pornographic video tape), an act of animal cruelty, violence and bloodshed, child abuse, and full frontal male and female nudity, this is not for the casual viewer. It seems the only debauchery left out of the film is bestiality (thank goodness).
The dialog is painful to endure at times but the acting is kind of hypnotic. In fact, it's hard to stop watching entirely because of how inappropriate and insane the movie is. It plays out in a silly fashion with the lies the parents tell the children elevating to absurdity for their own selfish desires (e.g., Frank Sinatra is their grandfather so they have a reason to listen to his records).
For me, the highlight of Dogtooth is when the two daughters dance for the parents, who are celebrating their anniversary, while the son strums an expressive tune on the guitar. An innocent, reverent dance with her younger sister turns into a frenzied solo interpretation of Flashdance that becomes so intense, she's ordered by her mother to stop. Imagine contestants on shows like America's Got Talent or So You Think You Can Dance who are aired only because their dancing is so horrendous, so hilarious, so over-the-top, but so full of spirit that it must be witnessed.
Open House (2010)
Bland, empty, and really freakin' boring
Two good-looking crazies, Lila (Tricia Helfer) and David (David Geraghty), take over the home of a recently broken-up couple, Alice (Rachel Blanchard) and Josh (Stephen Moyer), and start their reign of terror in suburbia. David stows a bruised and sedated Alice in the cellar while Josh ends up meeting his grisly end during a naughty little romp in the hot tub with Lila Loonybrains (sorry, guys, no gratuitous boobies scene). Several more mundane characters meet their demise, mostly stabbed in the neck with a kitchen knife or having their throats slit.
Throughout the film, it's assumed the partners in crime are romantically involved until Lila gives her unwitting dinner guests a disturbing synopsis of the book David is supposedly writing. It's about two children living in the forest who are deceived by a magical creature that persuades them to leave their home to go to utopia. But the children can't keep up with him because he's running so fast and, soon, they're lost. Frightened and alone, they cling to each other but "they can't exactly fall in love because they're brother and sister - twins." Oookay.
It's clear that Lila calls the shots. She's a psychopath, one hell of a sexy one, but her bossiness quickly becomes tiresome. All the while, the audience is wondering if David was castrated - come on, man up. Emotionless and muttering no more than a few words at a time, he's an awkward fellow to watch. A lot of cheesiness with no creepiness makes for a really lame serial killer. His one act of defiance is keeping Alice alive in a basement cubbyhole, letting her out during the day while Lila is out and about. Alice uses his fondness for her to her advantage and convinces him that she'll run away with him when the time comes. So he's not only a wimpy dullard, he's as smart as a pile of rocks.
Open House is bland, empty, and really freakin' boring. I spent more time checking the clock than actually watching the movie. I had to rewind so many parts I missed because, no joke, I kept zoning out. It's not scary, suspenseful, or like many bad films can be, unintentionally funny. Because the movie's only location is the house, there are limited opportunities to introduce new victims. A more experienced director would have offered more than wasted minutes of David cooking or washing dishes and conversations that serve no purpose except as filler. And is it just me or are the aerial blood sprays too watery and unrealistic?
I'm not a True Blood fan but if you are, don't rent or buy this because you see Sookie and Bill on the cover. Combined, they get no more than 10 minutes of screen time.
Trespass (2011)
Didn't care for Trespass at all
Yawn.
An hour and and a half of torture.
Kyle Miller (Nicolas Cage) is a diamond dealer who appears to have it all - a gorgeous wife (Nicole Kidman), a beautiful daughter, and insane wealth. He's targeted by a ragtag group of thugs that hold him and his family hostage. They know what he has, where he stashes it, and they're not leaving until he forks over the goods. Sound familiar? It should because Hollywood has done the hell out of the captive and captor scenario.
Cage is surprisingly subdued. Kidman is Kidman, a little melodramatic with everything, but that's her style. (I like her as an actress. I don't get all of the hate.) It's not the acting. It's the lack of any level of suspense, mystery, intrigue, or action. Trespass is basically 91 long minutes of people crying hysterically, screaming, cowering, and doing even dumber things than people in the worst B-movie horror movies out there.
The R rating is probably due to the smoking and drugs since there is no nudity or sex and the violence is tame. What a shame. If a movie is going to be as dull as this one is, at least give the audience some juicy material to lust after.
Shark Night 3D (2011)
Shark Night 3D has no guts, figuratively and literally
Sara (Sara Paxton) and her college friends travel to her lake house on the Louisiana Gulf for a wild weekend of beer pong, sunbathing, and death by shark. Be mindful of the PG-13 rating because, if you go into this expecting the finned version of Aja's silicon laden Piranha 3D, you'll be sorely disappointed. The most you're going to get to feast your eyes on is a brief shot of Katharine McPhee's and Alyssa Diaz's side boobs.
It's light on the carnage and heavy on the sentimental and often over-dramatic monologues. The gore is pretty watered down for the teen/tween audience. This is neither a good thing nor a bad thing - it's a boring thing. While there are quite a few deaths, the attacks are short cut scenes that end with the camera lingering over pools of red coloring dye to signify, yep, they're dead.
What's missing from this humdinger is good ol' fashioned fun. Most of its ilk celebrate the B-movie campiness with richly funny dialog, revel in the opportunity to mock its genre, or totally go off the deep end with exaggerated kills and/or gratuitous nudity. I realize Shark Night 3D wasn't made to be an in-your-face exploitation film but it's not Open Water either. It falls to the wayside because it has no guts, literally and figuratively.
Trust (2010)
Sometimes loses its focus but still a decent film
An insecure teen girl, Annie (Liana Liberato), starts a relationship with Charlie, a boy whom she's never met but after a couple of months of online and phone correspondence, she agrees to see him in person. She's been convinced by Charlie that he is a 20-something college student. When she finally sees him face-to-face, he is far from the young, twinkly-eyed boy in the photos Charlie has sent to her - he's a 35 year old man. Still, she goes to a motel with him and ends up being sexually assaulted.
Directed by David Schwimmer and starring two brilliant actors as Annie's parents (Clive Owen and Catherine Keener), Trust didn't receive a nationwide release, probably due to its heavy subject matter and a very un-Hollywood like ending, one that doesn't deliver that warm and fuzzy feeling. Most people have no idea the movie even exists. If you're a parent of a teen/tween, do yourself a favor and watch it.
Although the performances were spot-on, it did creep into that weepy Lifetime/Hallmark Hall of Fame territory every so often. I admit, it worked like a charm. I cried like a baby. Sometimes, the film lost its focus, bouncing back and forth between the criminal investigation and the father's increasingly neurotic behavior and lust for vigilante justice. There were some scenes that stood out, reminding me of the misconceptions so many people hold about rape.
Despite what the trailer at the official site may lead you to believe, the film's message is not that the internet is evil. David Schwimmer is a long-time anti-violence advocate for women (he's also on the board of the Rape Foundation) but he's careful not to get too preachy or overbearing. Don't view Trust as a lesson to be learned. In this technologically advanced age, we're well aware of the dangers, of the predators, of the steps we have to take to protect ourselves and our children. Instead, consider it an opportunity to explore the reactions of the characters on screen and reflect on your own emotions, both positive and negative.
Contagion (2011)
Slick, stylized fictionalized docu-drama w/a CSI element to it
Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) returns home to the midwest after a business trip to Hong Kong, only to die soon after from unknown causes. Immediately following her death, her young son dies. Several more people who had contact with Beth meet their untimely demise and thus spurs an investigation by the CDC. We peer into the lives of her husband, Mitch (Matt Damon), who turns out to be immune, Leonora (Marion Cotillard) of the World Health Organization, Erin Mears (Kate Winslet), an EIS operative sent out into the field, and Dr. Ellis Cheever (Laurence Fishburne) of the CDC, among others.
The film moves fluidly, with brief shots of objects we touch every day to remind us how susceptible we are - a door handle, an elevator button, a pen at the office, a bowl of peanuts at the airport. While it's captivating throughout, I couldn't help but feel like I was stuck in biology class now and then, particularly scenes that delved extensively into the genetic analysis of the virus. But I am content to have learned a few things about r nought (the reproduction number of a virus/infection), fomites, and how crap-my-pants scary Gwyneth Paltrow's hospital scene really is on a gigantic cinema screen.
This isn't much of a thriller. It's more of a slick, stylized, fictionalized docu-drama that is very bleak and pensive with a CSI element to it. It's a sobering look into what could realistically happen during and after a pandemic outbreak. It's pro-science/pro-medicine. Unlike many movies of today, the heroes don't have bulging muscles, superpowers, or cool gadgets. In Contagion, the saviors wear lab coats and their weapon is a vaccine.
The Caller (2011)
Refreshingly unpretentious but easily forgettable
Mary (Rachelle Lefevre) moves in to an apartment complex in Puerto Rico to escape her abusive ex who is none too happy about the divorce or the restraining order placed against him. Soon after, she's plagued by a barrage of phone calls from someone who identifies herself only as Rose. Slowly, their casual conversations veer toward an ominous direction, and one by one, people around her start dying or disappearing after she tries to cut off contact with the deranged caller.
If you have the patience to wait out the first 20 minutes, The Caller is a decent, straightforward mystery and suspense type thriller with reasonable acting and the welcomed absence of any CGI. Most of the scenes are shot at night or in Mary's dimly lit apartment, adding to the overall gloomy and grim tone. The movie is meant to inject you with fear, not with a quick jab to the jugular but, via a slow and steady stream. The borrowed time alteration theme from Frequency has its pitfalls - don't over-analyze and you won't be bothered by the plot holes.
A refreshingly unpretentious flick that relies on old school horror techniques (no gore or guts, no obtrusive soundtrack, no deafening sound effects) but, sadly, easily forgettable.
Primal (2010)
Great B-movie horror fun until the last 20 minutes
Formulaic B-movie horror flick about a group of 20-somethings that venture into the Australian wilderness with their anthropologist friend, Dace (played the very buff and very sexy Wil Traval), to study an ancient cave painting. It's paced well and it's not too long into the movie that Chad's free-spirited girlfriend, Mel, begins a horrific transformation into a frenzied predator that stalks them one by one.
For the gorehounds, there are rocks bashing heads in, teeth falling out, flesh ripping, cannibalism, and much more. Veteran horror fans, it's nothing you haven't witnessed before. The film borders on cheesy but, I have to be honest, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie until the last 20 minutes or so, when the special effects department decided to throw in some hokey CGI and a bizarre attempted impregnation scene between Anja and a seven foot cave-dwelling slug.
Primal isn't so much scary as it is intense. There are quite a few white knuckle moments, as well as a couple of holy sh*t, what the hell was that scenes that will stun and amuse you. It's almost devoid of gratuitous nudity since Mel's transformation from cute blond chick to ravenous killer with three inch fangs happens fairly quickly (sorry, men).
Definitely not recommended to the squeamish type or the casual viewer. If you liked movies like Cabin Fever and The Ruins, you may get a kick out of this return to Ozploitation from writer/director, Josh Reed.