Change Your Image
martymillman
Reviews
Girl Meets Farm (2018)
this lady is insane
Idk how she's had a show since 2018. Every time she's in food network her recipes are ridiculous/gross. I'm gonna leave salmon uncovered in the fridge all night to soak up heat juice for benedict the next day? Sure jan. There are people out there with actual good pallets and cooking abilities that would kill for a show like this, so why does this tasteless hack have a show? Also her asthetic/personal stories are very cringe. One time she talked about growing up there was a lake all the animals on her farm would poop in and in winter she would go ice skating on this poo lake. I said EXCUSE ME WHAT?? Woman is crazy.
Malignant (2021)
This is a joke right?
I originally wasn't going to see the film based on the trailer. I read a few reviews saying the film was unexpected, huge wtf moments, and quite frightening, so I decided to give it a chance. I even saw a few reviews saying this movie is camp, to those viewers I beg you to go look up what camp really means. This is not a commentary on horror. It is a mess of poor writing (story and dialogue), bad acting (especially from the cops), and overuse of bad CGI (in particular the blood splatters). From the first scene I could tell the film was going to be over the top. The only shining factor was the cinematography and shot design. The main actress was obviously wearing a wig that wasn't set properly, so the issue she has in the back of her head ended up being quite obvious. The final action sequence looked like a video game. Happy that it was available to stream and didn't have to waste any money to see this in theaters. James Wan has traded in his sparkle and fear factor for easy blockbuster money. What a shame.
The Night House (2020)
a very interesting take on grief
I've seen so many films about the loss of a loved one, but none of them feel genuine. The dialogue and actions from our main character Beth are true to form. She is completely raw, making jokes, throwing her husband's death in people's faces to purposely create discomfort. As someone who has lost a love member to suicide, this is what it was like. I keep seeing reviews say the story was predictable or it was more eerie than scary. Honestly I don't believe this is a horror film. This is a story of a woman's loss and how her mind is trying to process the grief. The night house is not real. None of it is real, the "spirit" even tells her it is a dream. Everything she witnesses is her brain desperately trying to put the pieces together to the puzzle of why her husband chose to end his life. It is a very smart film and an enjoyable watch.
The Green Knight (2021)
a disappointment
Some pls explain the buzz to me. Each stop on the quest did nothing to advance the plot or teach the main character anything. Much of the editing felt sloppy, and many shots were so dark i could hardly see what is going on. I really wanted to like the film, but it left me disappointed. I will forget i even watched it within a week.
Possessor (2020)
squirming
Some of my favorite movies are the ones that hit me so hard i can't even stand after it's over. i'm just stuck sitting there trying to pull myself out of this world i've been living in for the past couple hours. this film is so unsettling in the best way possible. the violence was extremely gory but also felt somewhat tame in a way, i couldn't sit still. i was filled with so much anxiety and unable to fathom how our main character is going to come out of this.
the cinematography, sound mixing, and editing were superb. every detail felt purposeful. i felt like i was part of this bad trip. i was the possessed unable to control the chaos around me.
for only being in the first few minutes gabrielle graham left a huge impact on me. the emotional range she shows in the opening scene was outstanding. i hope to see more of her on my screen. andrea riseborough is such a chamaeleon. almost unrecognizable in every role i see her in. she just becomes the character and delivers truly believable performances. chris abbott truly stole the show for me though. i was reminded of his role in piercing. he does great at playing someone so subdued yet erratic. i literally can't stop thinking about it.
this movie has infected my brain and i can't stop thinking about it. i cannot wait to see it again
Emily in Paris (2020)
wasted potential
This was advertised as Sex and the City (in Paris), but it is nothing of the sort. Lily Collins is a great actor, but her character is basic white girl caricature. Everyone is a caricature. French people are mean and smoke too much. You will just meet your new best friend on a park bench. Every man is hot and going to hit on you. The show was so cringy I couldn't believe what I was watching. It felt like a CW show with a larger budget, then I found out the show was originally set to premiere on MTV. With the toned down language and idealized view of the world, this show is probably great for tween girls who want to put themselves in Emily shoes. This is no Sex and the City.
Modern Love: Take Me as I Am, Whoever I Am (2019)
the dramatics
As someone who has bipolar I was excited to hear about this. however i was let down by this heavily dramatized attempt at a portrayal. Bipolar is more than just extreme happiness or crying in bed all day. Mania is mostly reckless/chaotic, not living in a musical. Depression is more of a wallow, after years and years of a repeated cycle you become adjusted to the feelings of hopelessness. Most days are just average, neither aspiring/devastating, just a feeling of indifference. Anne did a great job with what she was given, but the writers should have done more research instead of giving us the same, almost in a way glamorized depiction of bipolar
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
ahhhh
The violence is fun but the acting is really the scariest part of this movie.
In Fabric (2018)
wow what a ride
I was lucky enough to catch this at the savannah film festival. I expected camp going in and it truly delivered. The film doesn't take itself seriously in the slightest and you shouldn't either. The whole theater couldn't contain their laughter for the first 40 minutes. The people who couldn't get lost in this psychedelic 70s phantasm walked out, no shade it just wasn't their taste.
The cinematography and editing were superb. I felt like I was on an acid trip during a black friday sale. Theres no way for me to go into more detail without releasing spoilers so the last I will say is that this movie is not what you expect it to be. Let go of your idea of reality and let the movie take you downstream into hell
Scream: The Deadfast Club (2019)
girl no
The original scream revived the slasher genre, this is a disgrace. the first two seasons were a bit of a guilty pleaser, but this third season has some of the worst writing and acting i've ever seen. one line from the script was "dude he's a badass. he's had a mustache since the third grade." even kiki palmer isn't bringing her A game here. also the idea of who the killer is and why just makes it more pretty little liars than scream. this should have stayed dead
Knock Down the House (2019)
don't listen to the bad reviews
First off I have to state over 40% of the ratings were given 1 star. This tells me tons of small minded conservatives, who most likely didn't even watch the film, are desperately trying to paint the film as propaganda. This documentary is far from it. As AOC states "Everyday Americans should be represented by everyday Americans"
This documentary is about how much harder it is for women, especially women of color, to succeed in a straight white mans world in the government. it is about women who want to fight for what is right, not how big business can line their pockets. no matter what your political view is i think you will find this doc very eye opening. a definite must watch
Dexter (2006)
My Favorite Monster
I love Dexter. I always have and always will. When the show first came out the season 4 finale upset me so much I had to stop watch. I finally picked the show back up and decided to finish it. Dexter is a great show, but in my opinion the first season wads the best and and it was on a slow decline ever since. Don't get me wrong, Dexter is amazing, just each season was a little less interesting than the last. Then there's the series finale. Everyone told me not to watch it and just pretend the show ended on Season 8 Episode 11. Well I didn't listen and watched the finale. Subsequently, the finale made me so angry I threw my laptop across the room. So whatever you do, DON'T WATCH THE FINALE!
The Neon Demon (2016)
I loved it and hated it at the same time
I've been dying to see this movie for months now. I went in knowing Refn sometimes puts style of substance and was okay with it, until I wasn't. The visuals were gorgeous, the soundtrack was terrific, and the cinematography gave me a metaphorical hard on, but behind that was no real story. Take away the beautiful visuals and you have a very slow plot that feels like it goes nowhere. If Refn put a little more time into the plot, it could have been much better. Also the ending was very upsetting and left the story feeling very unfinished and unexplained. It got more horrory at the end, but they didn't show much of the violent bloody horror the movie became. Also Keanu Reeves felt like a waste. I think the film could have had a lot more going for it, yet I'm still giving it a 7 because of the stunning visuals and great soundtrack.
It Follows (2014)
Interesting Film
It Follows is a 1980s style horror film about a sexually transmitted haunting. One thing you need to know before seeing this film is that it's not for all everyone because it's not like most horror films. It Follows is unlike the BS horror films Hollywood keeps putting out like Annabelle and Ouija. The film makers made it to tell a story, not just to throw some cheep recycled crap full of jump scares on the screen for two hours to steal your money. The film's cinematography was so beautiful I almost cried. The opening scene was just amazing, but sadly it set the bar a little to high for the film. (Maika Monroe) did a great job portraying her character, Jay, but some of her friends, like Paul (Keir Gilchrist), could have done a little bit better, but it still was not terrible. One of the main disappointments was the story. It had a good basis, but it had many plot holes. Also many critics said this is "the scariest movie you'll ever see," but the scariest part of the whole movie was in first five minutes. Not to give away too much, but the opening is about a girl who had "It" before our Jay. The opening scene was pretty gory and terrifying, but that was all. The rest of the movie was not scary at all. One other thing about the film that was the writers portrayal of 80's horror. In most 80's horror the parents are never around, but when they are written out, they have an excuse to leave their kids alone in a time of crisis. In It Follows the parents are around, they just never come on screen. Also the teens were watching classic black and white science fiction comedy, which most teens don't. My friends and I do, but we don't dress and talk like it's the 80's too. Another thing that made no sense is that her friends offer to sleep with her so she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. These friends have seen how messed up "It" has made her, and they offer like it's no big deal to take "It" off her hands. Lastly there were many plot holes. There were some points where it was OK to leave you guessing, but there were some major plot holes. Like the rules behind "It" were very confusing. In the beginning it is said that "It' can't touch you, "It" touches Jay at least three times through out the film and she's just fine. Then there are a few scenes where "It" disguises itself as a a creepy old lady, a naked old man, or a beat up bloody cheerleader. Also there are some tiny plot holes with her kid neighbors, but it was not that big of a deal. Some bigger plot holes are like when the main characters are trying to get rid of "It" they just sleep with anyone. If whoever has "It" gets killed, "It" goes back to haunt whoever had it last, knowing this, why didn't the characters just sleep with someone who has a lot of sex. If given to just some random person at a bar who had sex quite often, "It" could then then "be passed further and further away from the characters, so even if "It" keeps going down the line killing people, it'll be a while before "It" gets back to you. This is finally realized at the end, but it unknown if Jay and her friends are really free of "It". Saying all that, the film was great, but it could have been better.
Orphan Black (2013)
Loved This
I loved this. Such a great show. Only having ten episodes killed me. he only thing I'm mad about is that I have to wait until spring 2014 for season two. I love clones and I think this is awesome.Then when the show started going in the splicing direction, I loved it more. This show just made me want to be stuck in spring. I was sad when summer came because the finally. I don't want to wait a year. In January I saw the promos for this and I thought it was interesting. The more I watched the promo the more I started to understand. I watched the show in my living room and one night my sister was in the room and she got interested. Then she got my dad hooked. Then it turned into a family show for us all to watch every Saturday. I loved it.
Orange Is the New Black (2013)
Loved It
I am a bored 15 year old who needs something to do over the summer and I have been seeing commercials on TV about Orange is the New Black. It is by the same people who did Weeds and I liked weeds, so I checked it out. I really did not know what I was getting myself into. The show started off OK, but got better and more intense each episode. I watched the whole show in one day, on accident. I was just watching the show about to go to bed and one of the cliff hangers just made me not go to sleep. I stayed up all night finishing it. The show was great, fantastic actually. Netflix you've done it again. Also the season finale is a killer!