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Devil's Punchbowl (2024)
Horror/thriller with a low budget that shows, but has its moments
First of all, this is a (presumably very) low-budget horror/thriller, and I presume that none of the cast are established full-time professional actors. It would therefore be unfair to compare it will multi-million pound Hollywood blockbusters, but...
there are several aspects that combine to make a good film - good ideas, a good script, a coherent, well though-out plot, good acting, good direction, good cinematography, good sets, good sound, a good score, etc. Honestly, I couldn't say that any of these aspects of this film are good. There are one or two actors who did a decent job, particularly (the rather gorgeous) Alice Sharpe and writer/director Adam Starks. The rest are generally a bit am-dram. The plot and the script are a bit shaky, as is the cinematography (literally). The score is also a bit grating. I did watch to the end though, and overall I have to give all involved credit for making a feature-length film that has its moments. Overall, though, not a great watch.
Watcher (2022)
Assayas meets Hitchcock in Bucharest
Julia (Maika Monroe) relocates with her Romanian-heritage husband to Bucharest after he gets promoted. Here she becomes uncomfortable, feeling that a neighbour is following her and watching her from the block of flats opposite. At the same time, a series of grisly murders takes place.
A psychological thriller somewhere between Olivier Assayas and Alfred Hitchcock, the setting of Bucharest helps (unless you're Romanian I guess) to identify with the sense of isolation and alienation felt by Julia.
Some of the cinematography is excellent, but there's also some annoying hand-held shaky-cam that loses marks in my book. The acting is good (particularly Monroe), although Burn Gorman's take on the weird neighbour is somewhat hammy.
Definitely worth watching, although the ending could have been more convincing.
6.5/10.
Saltburn (2023)
Intriguing for 90 mins but let down by the last 30
For the most part this is a really well-filmed and well-acted tale of a working class northern boy among the over-privileged. Barry Keoghan is very good as an Oxbridge fresher, but a strange choice given his age (the US trend of casting 30-somethings as high school kids notwithstanding). It builds well for 90 minutes, but descends into farce in the last 30.
The upper-class characters barely seem like real human beings. Perhaps that's the point, although the supporting cast is excellent, particularly Richard E. Grant.
It goes in a dark but intriguing, and often funny direction until the final 30 minutes, but then it gets increasingly less plausible, and with a twist (I guess it's meant to be a twist) at the end that would only surprise the least intelligent viewer.
Overall, worth watching, but could have been so much better.
Horror in the Forest (2023)
The Blair Woods Project
Documentary film makers go to a forest where children keep going missing. It's a found-footage style horror full of jump scares. For hardcore horror fans it's not bad. For anyone who's not madly into horror it's definitely not essential viewing. While it isn't very original, it's quite effective, and the acting and direction are reasonably good, although it has a slightly improvised feel to it, and the ending is a little disappointing. Perhaps the most impressive thing here is the suspicious number of 10/10 ratings - great job mobilising people to bump up the IMDB score, but not very convincing. Something a little more original that doesn't rely on jump scares so much might be a good idea in future.
M3GAN (2022)
Had potential, but is consistently dumb
The plot isn't hugely original here, but it had potential to be a creepy horror thriller. Unfortunately there are glaring flaws throughout, and it works better as a comedy (if unintentionally). A toy/robotics developer with a boss who knows nothing about the subject overnight develops the most advanced robot known to mankind. If that wasn't dumb enough, she gives it superhuman strength and the ability to make its own decisions without setting any sensible parameters, then gives it to her niece. The doll/robot becomes murderous, for which its creator would surely be spending a long time in prison, but no, this film's too dumb to have consequences. It gets very predictable, and all the human characters behave in consistently stupid ways. Despite this, it has its moments, but don't expect anything more than ninety minutes of dumb, predictable action that doesn't credit its audience with more than a handful of braincells..
Tusk (2014)
Twisted fun
A podcast host journeys to Canada to interview viral video 'star' Kill Bill Kid, but ends up following a lead to a mysterious man who has many tales to tell. This is wildly entertaining stuff. Justin Long is a little annoying as the said podcast host, but most of the rest of the cast are superb, particularly Michael Parks, who is superb as the mysterious tale-teller. As the film goes on it gets more and more twisted and progressively funnier. The one thing that really grated was the Canadian policeman character 'Guy Lapointe' who was just too daft and didn't fit with the rest of the film. I had no idea who the actor portraying him was while I was watching, but as it turned out to be Johnny Depp, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised that he wasn't great. I would recommend that everybody watch this film. Some will hate it, but many will love it.
The Hoarder (2015)
Watchable horror
Set in a storage facility with a creepy, off-limits basement section, this is by no means a horror classic, but it's watchable. I really don't get why IMDB allows some of the ratings - this is clearly not a 10/10 film to any rational person, so the 10 scores are, one would suspect, from people who worked on the film, and their mums. The 1/10 scores, as always, seem to come from people who seem unable to give any other score if there's anything they don't like about a film. Both should be ignored. There are some decent ideas here, and a reasonable amount of tension. Nobody's getting Oscar-nominated for this, but the acting isn't terrible, nor is the direction. It may not be objectively very good on any level, but neither is it terrible on any level. It's a middling time-filler that deserves a middling score.
The Last Rite (2021)
Decent low-budget Brit horror
Quite a decent low-budget British horror. Perhaps not much that's really original but I liked the idea of the man in the hat. While the official blurb mentions that the main character is a medical student and suffers from sleep paralysis, neither of these things is evident from watching the movie (what we see in the film bears no resemblance to sleep paralysis). Bethan Waller, in the lead role (Lucy) is as good as can be expected given the script and the lack of budget for SFX, the rest of the cast generally ok, but the biggest problem is Johnny Fleming in the role of Lucy's boyfriend, Ben, partly because his acting isn't great, but largely because his character is so lacking in any redeeming features - why Lucy would have moved in with him is a mystery in itself. There are nods to 'The Exorcist', which is unsurprisingly a far superior film, but The Last Rite is enjoyable for fans of the genre despite its flaws.
Demonlover (2002)
Messy, incoherent, and boring
The plus points - a very strong female-led cast, and a great score provided by Sonic Youth, with a classy soundtrack.
The bad points - everything else. What plot there is is muddled, incoherent, and confusing. The script is poor, direction is worse, and the shaky-cam cinematography is horrible. Maybe if the cameraman behaves himself his mum will buy him a tripod for Christmas. It's just boring and far too long. Very little makes any sense, and the actors often appear as non-plussed as I was watching it. Much of the action is very unconvincing. So what is the point of this film? Who knows. If you've seen Assayas' similarly dreadful 'Boarding Gate' you'll know what to expect.
Lair (2021)
Don't believe the dodgy 10/10 ratings - this is poor all round
At the time of writing, over 3,000 people have given this film a 10/10 rating, which is one of the most blatant attempts at rigging an IMDB rating I have ever seen. Nothing about this film merits more than a 5/10. It's not very well written, and the acting is decidedly mediocre and unconvincing. Oded Fehr is only in it briefly and his dialogue is undecipherable, but he's still billed as the 'star' for obvious marketing reasons. The direction is amateurish. The ideas here are not great. Kudos for having a same-sex couple (even if they seem to hate each other) without making an issue of it, but there's little to recommend in this film.
Them (2021)
I was awake, then I fell asleep
This film is strange, slow, and incoherent. I tried to finish it four times before successfully doing so, as it kept sending me to sleep. There's a lot of scenes with people staring into the distance and not saying much. The concept behind it is rather vague and under-developed. It's certainly different, but not really recommended.
Fantasy Island (2020)
Fiasco Island
Up to the last half an hour, this was a reasonably entertaining, if unconvincing watch, but it descended into a shambles at the end, with ridiculous plot twists.
Incarnation (2022)
Shaky plot, shaky direction, shaky camera
Couple move into an apparently remote house (although it turns out it's next to a freeway) and find demonic goings on. Not original. The demonic door opening/closing/voices are pathetic. The cinematography is appalling - constant shaky camera and dull lifeless colours. Diggs and Uberuaga are not too bad, but the characters they play are terrible and the whole film feels like it was stitched together from rehearsal takes. For Madsen to still be getting work is remarkable. The plot is half-baked. Why this has so many high ratings is beyond me. It's not the worst film ever made but there's nothing good about it, apart from maybe the house itself, which is interesting.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Good series, with obvious major flaws
After a slow start, this turned out to be a good watch. Well-acted, decently written (sometimes over-written), with a good cast. The big problem for me is....vampires and the devil! Nobody on the island appears to have ever heard of either. Priest encounters scary 'angel' and it doesn't occur to him that there was an angel that wasn't, let's say, totally 'good'. And then people get bitten by it, die, then come back craving blood, and it doesn't occur to anybody that there might be some vampire-type thing going on rather than an angel killing people to, err, 'save' them. The hokey over-philosophising of ordinary characters also grated. Worth a watch though. 6.6/10.
Poltergeist Activity (2015)
Why bother?
This is just filmmaking for the sakes of it. There are no new ideas here, which one could perhaps forgive if it was better made. Sure, it was made on a low budget, but the ideas could have been better developed and the script made a lot better without needing more money. It's well enough shot, but it really needed tighter direction and editing. The score is all over the place and detracts from any tension that might have built up. The people who gave this 10 stars clearly either worked on the film or are related to those who did. I think four stars is pretty generous.
Doctor Who: Legend of the Sea Devils (2022)
Oh dear
I remember the Sea Devils from the 1970s. As with every recent revival, they're not scary here. The writing here is abysmal, the ideas half-baked, the acting mediocre. The series needs a reboot, forgetting everything that's happened since the Paul McGann incarnation.
The Heiress (2021)
Mediocre low-budget horror
There are some decent ideas here, but they're not developed enough. The acting is mixed, direction isn't great, nor is the cinematography. Of course the low budget puts limitations on the production, so I'm sure all concerned could do better, but more fully-developed ideas and a better script needn't have cost any more. The gorgeous and talented Candis Nergaard is a bit wasted here. It has its moments but ultimately isn't really satisfying.
Boarding Gate (2007)
Tedious
I gave it 40 minutes, but by then I still didn't really know what it was about and didn't care about any of the characters. The script is poor, delivered indifferently by the cast. Asia Argento looks nice but her lines are often barely intelligible. A decidedly mediocre spectacle.
The Hunt (2020)
A bit of a mess, but still fun
The Hunt is fun, gory, and quite daft. The plot is full of holes. It's an entertaining mess of a film. If it's making a point, it doesn't make it very well, so best leave your brain at the door and get the popcorn out..
Stay Close (2021)
Very enjoyable, but not without flaws
A very enjoyable watch, with plenty of twists and turns, and most characters not quite what they seem at first. Cush Jumbo is very good, others not so good. Some of the casting is a bit off in my view, some of the acting is a bit weak, and it lacks directorial flair, but it's still a lot of fun.
Doctor Sleep (2019)
Fairly entertaining fantasy, but zero scares
Note: I watched the extra-long director's cut.
I love Kubrick's The Shining which is effectively creepy. This obviously uses that as a starting point, but they're not really similar films. This is a fairly entertaining fantasy, but it has none of the atmosphere of The Shining. And no scares.
The Wilding (2016)
Intriguing build-up, bit ultimately nothing makes sense
I've done courses on pitching film ideas. If films like this can get made, maybe I've been wasting my time - how can anyone have pitched this and got funding to make it? It's well acted, has some good moments, and is mainly enjoyable for the most part, but ultimately at the end I was really none the wiser as to what was going on. Some of the scenes in the film don't make any sense at all. The idea is the key thing in a film like this - if you can't come up with a good idea, please don't make the film.
The Banishing (2020)
Ok, but where's the plot?
I was quite enjoying this, it definitely has it's moments. It was building towards a conclusion, but then...nothing. It's a film full of loose ends and half-baked ideas. Jessica Brown Findlay is good as Marianne, but her character needed to be written better, with at least some semblance of a person behaving realistically having experienced what they did. Why Sean Harris has the hair of Quentin Crisp is perhaps the greatest mystery here. A reasonably enjoyable journey but the destination is the middle of nowhere.
Jacob's Ladder (2019)
It may not be as good as the original but it's not as bad as some would have you believe
I enjoyed the original film but it's a long time since I watched it, so I watched this with only a vague memory of the Tim Robbins version. If you know the basic premise of the film from the original, it's a bit of a spoiler before you start but it has some differences. It was enjoyable until the final reel where it fell apart a bit. The acting is fine. Visually it's great. It may have been a not great idea to remake it, and ultimately a lot of it doesn't make much sense, but anyone giving this 1 out of 10 is really doing the film, and the IMDB community, a disservice.
The Bloodhound (2020)
A wonderfully strange film
Beautifully shot, very well cast and acted. It's a strange film that won't be for everyone (e.g. Those who need everything to be explained to them and to make sense), but I loved it.