Reviews

Sheriff Hopper and Joyce attempt to enter the Upside Down via the gateway inside Hawkins' Lab but get caught. Or was that Hopper's intention all along? While the boys stay with El, who's recovering from her exhausting bathtub experience, Nancy and Jonathan are determined to lure the monster out of its dimension and violently confront it... And Steve discovers that Nancy has better things to do with her time than cheat on him!

"The Upside Down" - episode 8 - is pretty much everything you can hope and expect the season's finale of an awesome television series to be. The monstrous Demogorgon finally shows itself fully and extendedly, and of course it turns out to be an astoundingly creepy and hideous creature worthy of a cult-status. The bad guys (and the one bad woman) get what they bloody well deserve, thanks to El's seemingly inexhaustible super-powers. And - most importantly - is there still hope for Will, or was it all for nothing?

Many answers are provided, but still also more than enough questions remain open and brand new little mysteries are created to ensure everyone is already looking forward to season two. Sheriff Hopper particularly acts strange when he leaves the hospital, and the Beyer house doesn't seem to be purified entirely, neither. It took me an awful long time to finally check out "Stranger Things", which I obviously regret now, but I know for certain I won't wait long to dive into season 2, 3, 4 (and 5?)

The "believers" in the 3 different search parties finally come together in the penultimate episode, but not before the boys and Eleven make a spectacular escape from the large army of bad guys that surrounded the Wheeler's residence. Instead of teleporting their BMX bikes in the sky, like in "E. T.", Eleven causes for one of the creepy vans to catapult in the air, which results in one of the most memorable scenes of season one. Eventually, they all entrench themselves in the school's gym and build a sensory deprivation tank for Eleven to sink deep in her subconsciousness and locate Will in the Upside Down.

As you sense the denouement approaching, the tension and uncanniness are mounting as well. Unable to apprehend his beloved "experiment" Eleven, you feel that the evil Dr. Brenner (Matthew Modine) is ready to revert to violence and collateral damage when he's entering the Wheeler's house. Although, it must be said that his supposedly tough henchmen are not too bright and easily get defeated by a quartet of teens and a fatigue Sheriff. El's mental descent into the Upside Down guarantees for a wide variety of creepy imagery, sad discoveries (remember Barb?), and the ideal prelude for an eventful season's finale.

The monster? It certainly is! Nancy and Jonathan narrowly escaped from the most terrifying encounter of their lives. Just when they seek a little bit of comfort with each other, Nancy's boyfriend Steve sees them, and it leads to a different kind of battle. Sheriff Hopper and Joyce join forces and are on the trail of a missing kid, but it's not Will. The boys search for the gateway to the Vale of Shadows with their compasses, but it leads to an argument between Mike and Lucas.

Six episodes far into the first season, and I can honestly say that I'm hooked! There's no more building up atmosphere or loose ends, everything that happens now is relevant and leads to immediate and fast-paced action. The eloquent and surprisingly wise Dustin continues to be my favorite character, together - of course - with the lovely Nancy, who struggles with a wide variety of emotions. The ending of "The Monster" is sublime, with Eleven showcasing the width of her telepathic powers on a whole new level. Wow! The soundtrack highlight of this episode is the sinister - and thus very fitting for the show - "Sunglasses at Night".

Thanks to Eleven's hints and the game of Dungeons & Dragons, but mostly thanks to Dustin's nerdy cleverness and wit, the boys discover what the whereabouts of Will are. He's trapped in a parallel evil dimension. The Vale of Shadows. The Upside Down. All they need to do now, is find the gateway. Sheriff Hopper finds a gateway, but he does so by breaking into the mysterious facility. Many people gather for an emotional funeral service for Will, but the people closest to him continue their search immediately after.

Episode five is less good than the previous, but that is normal since "The Body" was uniquely fantastic and exhilarating. "The Flea and the Acrobat" is more talkative, but it's a joy to see the character of Dustin shine! Hey may does not have front teeth, but he certainly has a neat set of brains (and a lot of nerd-knowledge). The climax, with Jonathan and Nancy discovering petrifying things in the woods, is effectively tense. No particular musical highlights this time, but instead a beautiful homage to Sam Raimi's "The Evil Dead" when a characters says to remove the film poster because it's inappropriate.

The body found in the lake is unmistakably identified as Will Byers, but not everybody accepts the closure of the case. Joyce exclaims it isn't her son, but nobody takes her serious. Best friend Mike also feels Will is not dead, but he'll have to persuade his two pals with the help of El's psychic powers. Even Sheriff Hopper has doubts, mainly because the local coroner wasn't allowed to perform the autopsy and other suspicious clues that point towards the nearby science facility. While a wake for Will is being held at school, Nancy is still the only one worried about Barb's vanishing. She searches for answers and finds that Jonathan's creepy voyeur photos might be of help.

Even though very personal and the complete opposite of objective, I partially judge "Stranger Things" episodes on the greatness of the music and individual songs they feature. From that perspective, "The Body" must be the best episode of the series, because it contains the amazing (and amazingly underrated) song "Atmosphere" by Joy Division. Brilliant song by a brilliant band, and brilliantly used here during the depressing and sad opening sequences. Aside from the song, "The Body" simply is a fantastic episode. There's genuine emotion (notably coming from Winona Ryder's strong performance), suspense, morbidity, humor (when the boys prepare El for school), action, and a plot that becomes more absorbing by the minute.

Quiet but loyal friend Barb(ara) is not at school the day after she got stood up by her BFF Nancy, because the latter decided to offer herself to her boyfriend. Little does Nancy know that "something" took Barb. Is she where Will is? Joyce, Will's mother, is convinced that her boy is trying to reach out to her from wherever he is and develops an ingenious method to communicate with him through Christmas decorations. Of course, the rest of Hawkings - including her son Jonathan - assumes she's simply losing her sanity due to stress. Still hiding out in Mike's room, the boys help El(even) to develop her psychic abilities, but this rapidly leads to painful flashbacks.

While episode #2 was quite tame and uneventful, I have the (pleasant) impression "Stranger Things" is now rocket-launched with this excellent third installment. It features the first sequences with genuine suspense, like when little Holly uncannily wanders through Joyce's house when following the flickering lights, and creepy action as - via a flashback - it is shown what bloody powers Eleven has. Oh, and the episode has a cliffhanger that is guaranteed to make you want to binge watch. Less musical highlight in "Holly Jolly", with the exception of a marvelous version of David Bowie's "Heroes".

Will Byers is still missing, but his courageous nerd-friends (Mike, Lucas, and Dustin) must abort their search because they bumped into the mysterious girl Eleven in the rainy forest and take her back to Mike's house. Her sudden appearance is undoubtedly linked to Will's disappearance. Will's older brother Jonathan is out searching as well, but he's drawn to spying on Mike's sister Nancy at her boyfriend's house with a pool, and he unknowingly registers a strange occurrence on his camera. Meanwhile, Sheriff Hopper becomes suspicious because it's too unfathomable that both a vanishing and a suicide in the normally so quiet village happen on the same day.

Like - sadly - often the case in highly acclaimed TV-series, the second episode is a lot less overwhelming and impressive as the pilot. We get to know the characters more, which is good since I think they all last for 4 or 5 seasons minimally, and the mystery builds up slow but steadily. Like Jonathan, I'm already falling for the unearthly cute (but terribly naïve) Nancy Wheeler. What a beauty, this Natalia Dyer! The musical highlights come from The Clash's epic "Should I Stay or Should I Go", and a terrific version of Paul Simon's "Hazy Shade of Winter" during the end credits. The title is a lovely reference to an ancient episode of "The Twilight Zone"

"Hellhole"... Although I can spontaneously think of three or four movies that are called like this, it nevertheless remains an awesomely cool title for a horror movie. Can you make your film sound even more sinister and grim? Well, yes, if you use the original title: "Ostatnia Wieczerza". It simply means "Last Supper" in English, but in Polish it sounds like two words coming straight out of hell...

As an advocate for pure, genuine, and bone-chilling horror I simply must spread some positivism about this Polish (semi-)gem. "Ostatnia Wieczerza" certainly isn't the greatest horror movie ever made, but the macabre atmosphere is terrific, the setting & characters are nightmarish, and the ending is... Well, wow, what an ending!

The story takes place in 1987 and revolves around a police officer going undercover in a primitive and secluded monastery, because the place seems connected to the cases of various young women who went missing. Not a whole lot happens during the first hour, admittedly, but the place and the people (and the soup) still give you the shivers. The best comparison I can make is probably with the mighty "The Name of the Rose" (1986), because - like in that classic - all the monks look pure evil, and the monastery is the absolute last place on earth you want to be.

Just when you start to get fed up with the lack of action and plot development, "Ostatnia Wieczerza" unleashes its demons... And you may take that quite literally. The last half hour is pure horror, with cruelty, bleakness, and shocking imagery that remains stuck in your head long afterwards. Heck, I even watched the entire end-credits, simply because I kept gazing at the screen and couldn't operate the remote.

Originality: zero points. But hey, if you read the synopsis and behold the film poster of "Killer Book Club", and you are still secretly hoping to see an original and unpredictable slasher mystery, then I am sorry to announce there's something very wrong with your expectation management. "Killer Book Club" - or "El Club de los Lectores Criminales" as it sounds much cooler in Spanish - delivers exactly what it promises: pretty & posh, but empty-headed teenagers getting brutally slashed by a freak in a rudimentary clown's mask. Too insulting for your IQ? Please watch "Poor Things" or "The Substance" instead.

This sick Netflix puppy takes its inspiration from the two biggest (not necessarily the best) horror blockbusters of the 1990s, namely "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer". A group of (fake) campus friends plan to scare the bejesus out of a pervy teacher who went #MeToo on a student, but their prank naturally results in a gruesome death. Immediately after the mandatory "I swear I'll never tell anyone!" sequence, the group finds themselves pursued and relentlessly killed by someone with a mask and a mountaineers' ice axe. Will you hope & pray for someone in the club to survive this horrible ordeal? Not particularly...

Your first guess for the killer's identity will probably already the right one. Every "twist" in the script is laughably predictable and even the finale is blatantly copied from the aforementioned 90s flicks. Don't think. Don't get annoyed. Simply enjoy the gore.

As an avid admirer of the original "Planet of the Apes" franchise, I deliberately avoided the new series (currently four titles and probably more to come) for years. But then I thought: what's the point? These could be very good movies as well. And they are! Or, at least, the first one is.

"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is the definite beginning of the saga. It certainly isn't a remake of the 1968 Charlton Heston classic (although listed as such on IMDb) and it's much more of a prequel than "Escape from the Planet of the Apes" (1973) ever was. The script comes up with a much more plausible and realistic explanation of why (perhaps), in 200-300 years, apes will be the dominant species on our planet instead of humans. And, for once, we didn't destroy ourselves in nuclear wars, but medical science made a terrible mistake. Oops!

Will Rodman obsessively works on a medicine against Alzheimer's Disease, because he's losing his father to it. He reaches a breakthrough and tests it on his pet chimpanzee Caesar (whom he rescued from the lab) and on his father Charles (because his condition rapidly deteriorates). The results on both species are astounding, as Charles is miraculously cured, and Caesar develops a whole lot of incredible cognitive skills. Five years later, however, things still go horribly wrong (which is, I guess, the reason why conclusive tests for a new medicine take 10 years). Charles' Alzheimer returns and spreads faster, and exposure also leads to a slow but deadly and contagious virus. Chimpanzee Caesar becomes more aggressive and uncontrollable. His traumatizing imprisonment in a dreadful primate shelter with abusive guards, in combination with his superior cognitive skills, eventually lead to the titular uprise.

As you can derive from the plot summary, "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" has a slow and meticulously detailed build-up, and there isn't much action. Nevertheless, the plot is absorbing from start to finish, and the finale - taking place on the iconic Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco - is extremely rewarding! Although definitely a better film than Tim Burton's 2001 remake, it has to be said I prefer the special effects & make-up in that one. The motion capture techniques in "Rise" are state-of-the-art, for sure, but I swear by the genius of Rick Baker's craftsmanship.

You like 80s horror, right? Then you are going to LOVE "Stranger Things"! That's what I've been hearing from friends, and from random people on the Internet since several years now, but I've been reluctant because a) I'm a movie person, and don't have the patience for long-running TV-series, and b) the overall Netflix offer doesn't really appeal to me. I finally gave in, and of course "Stranger Things" is one of the first titles of the catalog I tried out.

I do love 80s horror, but when I think of 80s horror, I think of crazy mature classics like "Re-Animator", "Hellraiser", and "The Evil Dead". The only references and tributes I spotted in the first episode of "Stranger Thinks" are towards child-friendly Sci-Fi flicks like "The Goonies" and "E. T." But I must admit, the ominous atmosphere, the awesome 1983-vibes, and the potential of the plot are more than hopeful, and I am looking forward to discovering the rest of the series.

Episode one already features the vanishing of an innocent kid, a sinister secret science lab where monstrous beings escape from, lead characters with clearly a lot of background, a brutal scene in a roadside diner, and brilliant songs by Jefferson Airplane and Toto. How can you not get hooked? Bring on the rest...

Ever noticed how, in horror films, co-workers are always portrayed as loathsome and egocentric people that passionately hate each other? And especially when they're away on a retreat or team-building activity together? I think screenwriters do this deliberately to show "ordinary" people who work in offices and watch horror movies to relax - like me - that we don't have to complain about our own colleagues, after all.

The Swedish "Konferensen" is very similar to the British "Severance". In both films, fellow office workers, who can't stand each other, are taken out of their comfort zones to participate, very much against their will, in forced team-building activities somewhere in a remote location. The films also have in common they are both very light-hearted slashers without too much significance, but very entertaining, nevertheless.

In "Konferensen" we have the administrative employees and project-developers of a rural municipality who are obliged to spend a few days in a sort of boot camp, and at the same time celebrate their great recent achievement; - namely the building of a large shopping center on the grounds where a large, expropriated farm used to be. Lina, who has been absent for a few months due to a burnout, discovers that the over-ambitious Jonas has been falsifying permits and cheating landowners. There is also talk of leases for the new shopping center that don't seem to exist, such as IKEA. Can you imagine a shopping zone in Sweden without an IKEA?

When referring to farmers who were forcibly expropriated, you also know that you don't have to guess long for the identity of the bloodthirsty killer who soon starts butchering the participants one by one, whilst putting on the idiotic mask of the project mascot. It is also not the intention or ambition of writer/director Patrik Eklund to bring forward an original and incredibly intelligent horror film. He clearly just had a pitch-black comedy with a lot of blood, creative kills, and a bit of suspense in mind. He succeeds with "Konferensen".

They sometimes say that all you need in order to make a great movie is one brilliant idea. Well, "The Platform" proves that you still need a few things more... This Netflix production admittedly does feature - hands down - one of the most genius basic plot ideas I have encountered since many years, but in the end it's still a lacking and disappointing Sci-Fi drama/thriller (despite the high rating around here).

The brilliant idea? The futuristic prison-setting of the film isn't a large building with a few floors and hundreds of cells next to each other anymore. It's a massive vertical construction with at least 200 floors, with 2 prisoners per cell and per floor. There's only one important moment per day, and that's when the food descends on a lowering platform and holds still for two minutes for the cell mates to eat. There's a problem, though. The food starts as a luxurious all-u-can-eat banquet on level 0 and doesn't get reprovisioned, thus by the time the platform reaches floor 45-50, the prisoners hardly having anything to eat.

Of course, I get it. We all get it. "The Platform" is one giant metaphor for our society and the dishonest & disrespectful ways people treat each other. Nobody is satisfied with just "enough" to eat, everyone thinks he/she "deserves" to have more than the people below, and every slightest attempt at solidarity is largely unsuccessful. The rich get rich (or fatter in this case) and the most vulnerable people are being kept weak or left to die. There's a monthly rotating system, representing the chances and (good or bad) luck in life, but the only true solution to beat famine is unity, solidarity, and collaboration. Can mankind accomplish this? I think we all know the answer.

Again, great idea! My compliments to the Spanish writers, and to director Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia. Still, and this is probably the only time in my life I'll ever say this, I think a concept like "The Platform" would work a lot more efficiently as a novel or perhaps a TV-series. It's too complex and too detailed, and there's too much potential in everything the supportive characters do or say. We don't know much about lead protagonist Goreng (strong performance by Ivan Massagué) and his three different but intriguing cell mates - each representing a population group - remain too vague as well. On the other hand, even though barely 100 minutes long, "The Platform" already tends to get tedious and repetitive, so maybe a series would not work after all. Strong film, for sure, intelligent and disturbing, and also featuring quite a lot of gore and nasty images.

The colonial history of a country is often one of the darkest and most shameful pages in the history of that nation. I know for a fact this is the case for my country, Belgium. The degrading practices that took place in the Republic of Congo between 1900 and 1960, such as extreme slavery and exploitation of local resources, have left deep wounds on the people of the country and - still today - on their descendants. In recent years, the matter has flared up again, due to riots and protests, and apologies have been demanded from the government and the Royal Family for all the traumas and humiliations caused by King Leopold II and several wealthy industrialists/plantation owners.

"Ritueel" cleverly attempts to cash in on this contemporary (and very sensitive) political/social commotion. When police diver Kiki Schelfthaut brings up a chopped off hand from the bottom of a Brussels' canal, she quickly links it to a ritual that was performed during the revolution at the end of the colonial period, in which the local population cut off the hands of their former "plantation masters" as revenge for years of abuse. Kiki should know, because her father was a lawyer who fought for the rights of the local Congolese population. When missing sons of wealthy industrialists are then found as corpses without hands, it is clear to Inspector Cafmeyer that the killer must be sought in the troubled Congolese community of Brussels. Meanwhile, Kiki also struggles with the trauma of her parents who drowned in a diving accident, and with her useless brother who hides sinister things.

Some nice ideas and plenty of goodwill from the cast, but "Ritueel" fails to make a really strong impression. I haven't read the Mo Hayder (*) novel on which the film is based, but I hope (for the sake of everyone who does read it) it's livelier and a lot more involving. "Ritueel" is often tedious, predictable, and completely unremarkable. Director Hans Herbots seems a bit afraid to tackle the touchy colonial subject, and then chooses to focus on how arrogant and ruthlessly rich people can be, even towards their own children. Also, I love Marie Vinck and she's a more than decent actress, but she can't carry the whole movie (and especially her character's sub plots) alone. At the same time, another very good actor, Geert Van Rampelberg, is barely used in the film.

(*) The story behind author Mo Hayder seems more interesting to me than the novel itself. Apparently, the name is a pseudonym of Candy Davis, who was an actress in the comical sitcom "Are you being Served?" and a nude model in the 1980s! What a fascinating career-variety! Candy Davis / Mo Hayder died in 2021, and "Ritueel" is dedicated to her memory.

Back in the 1990s it was perfectly possible for a silly and implausible B-movie plot to get turned into a class-A Hollywood blockbuster. All you needed was an attractive cast and a halfway competent director. Look at "The Silence of the Lambs" or "Seven", for instance, but "Fallen" is an even better example because this plot is REALLY cuckoo!

Devoted and infallible Philadelphia police detective John Hobbes is righteously proud when he captures infamous serial killer Edgar Reese and sends him to the execution chamber. By doing so, however, the nefarious Biblical demon Azazel becomes unleashed and he/it continues the cruel killing spree. Stopping him/it is impossible, because Azazal's evil spirit seemingly passes along from host to host easier & quicker than the Covid-19 virus. By a mere touch or stroke the hand, Azazal turns even the most cherubic child or lifelong loyal partner into a stone-cold killer.

Some people will claim that Azazal is, in fact, a metaphor for rapidly growing fears and anxieties of the 90s, like AIDS or xenophobia. Might be. I'm not contradicting that "Fallen" has certain ambitions, but still, I mainly consider it as an easy-to-watch thriller with a few excellent moments of suspense and a solid cast. All together now: "Ti-iii-iii-me is on my side... Yes, it is!"

One should always be wary, and perhaps even slightly skeptical, when it comes to previously unknown horror movies that suddenly emerge out of nowhere on fancy and marvelously restored BluRay editions. I never heard about "Beware My Brethren" (aka "The Fiend") before, and sadly too often this means it used to be obscure for a good reason and probably not worth discovering. However, the recent "88 Films" release looks so amazing and so irresistible for fans of (British) (s)exploitation horror of the 70s that I simply had to purchase it, and I also immediately know that I was going to like it a lot more than I probably should.

In all honesty, it certainly isn't a great movie. It's quite flawed, in fact, and I fully acknowledge the more negative reviews around here, but - in my defense - I was really in need of a brutally violent and sleazy horror, and the restoration of picture & sound is awesome! My apologies in advance, as this won't be a very objective review.

"Beware my Brethren" fits into several categories. It's a stalk-and-slash flick with a sexually repressed killer, inspired by milestones like "Psycho" and "Peeping Tom", but it is also a raw "fanatic religious nut" exploitation flick because of all the slaughtering in God's name and the numerous speeches urging to "repent ye Sinners!". And perhaps, most of all, it's one of those barbarically straightforward early 70s movies that want to state clear the "swinging 60s" are forever over and done with! You can't trust handsome strangers anymore, and skimpy outfits and "free love" will get you killed!

Briefly summarized, Kenny and his beloved mother Birdy are members of a secluded but extremely strict Catholic community called "The Brethren". Birdy attends all the lead Minister's speeches, but Kenny prefers to go out and butcher lovely young ladies who - according to him - dress and behave too indecent. Birdy's nurse-at-home suspects the Brethren is a dangerous cult, and persuades her journalist sister to go undercover and collect evidence.

The poor elaboration of the script and the lack of focused direction are by far the main weaknesses of "Beware My Brethren". During two scenes there seems to be a police inspector working on the cases of the murdered girls, but then he just disappears even though the bodies continue to pile up. The private search of the beautiful sisters Brigitte (Madeleine Hinde) and Paddy (Suzanna Leigh) also remains underdeveloped. Paddy's snooping around in the Brethren's chapel easily could have resulted in a couple of suspenseful scenes, but alas. Instead, Robert Hartford-Davis stuffs his movie with loud & endless preaching and full-length gospel songs. I confess I love the gospel songs, but I also love constructive plot and tension building.

Of course, I know and understand why Hartford-Davis made these choices. The Minister is a role of Patrick Magee, and a year before he just starred in the immensely popular "A Clockwork Orange". The girl who does the cherubic singing - Maxine Berrie - is the winner of TV-talent shows. The film could advertise with these names and thus they received prominent screentime. I'm already glad Hartford-Davis didn't cut back on the amount of vicious gore and gratuitous nudity.

Movies like "The Empty Man" (and many others of its kind) painfully provide the evidence that I'm becoming an old and whiny sourpuss when it comes to horror. This movie is so dull and so overlong, and yet the director thinks he's so clever and such a great artist! It's basically a story about missing children being linked to the appearance of a mythical boogeyman. Nothing new there, but writer/director David Prior (*) nevertheless considers his work as the most convoluted, profoundly psychological, intelligent, and original piece of work ever made. Well, it's not.

These urban myths/legends are becoming way too complicated. Back when I was a teenager, you simply had to say "Candyman" five times in front of a mirror and he would appear to slash you with his meat hook hand. To summon "The Empty Man", you must be on a bridge at night, find an empty bottle, blow into it, think about him and then - maybe - something sinister happens. Seriously? Why don't add dancing the cha-cha-cha and do a flip-flop? The appearance ritual of our pal the Empty Man is even duller, as it takes three days of sensatory perceptions (hearing, seeing, feeling).

The length of the summoning & appearance processes perfectly indicates what the overall problem is with "The Empty Man" (and many others of its kind). Too long! Every scene and every shot are approximately 3-4 times longer than necessary. The film opens with a pre-credits sequence set in Bhutan, in 1995, that is already 10 minutes longer than necessary. The search for missing Amanda and the mystery surrounding the group of teenagers that seemingly committed suicide is reasonably intriguing, but the final act and conclusion are so dull and derivative... and too long!

(*) David Prior is not to be confused with David A. Prior, a director from the 80s and 90s who - in sheer contrast to the director of "The Empty Man" - did know how to make fabulously entertaining and unpretentious horror/action movies ("Deadly Prey", "Killer Workout", "Night Wars", ...)

"The Fifth Element" has always been one of my favorite Sci-Fi movies, and I reckon the same goes for many people in my age category. You can somewhat refer to it as the "Star Wars" for kids growing up in the 1990's, what with its imaginatively flamboyant & colorful characters, set-pieces, costumes, special effects, etc...

If you analyze the film in detail, you can only conclude it's preposterous and totally senseless! A giant fireball from outer space that is considered the Ultimate Evil, friendly aliens shaped like oversized steel armadillos, Willis as a starfighter turned cabdriver, a feisty redhead girl as the savior of the universe, Oldman as a sort of futuristic Adolf Hitler with the little mustache below the lips instead of above, a blue intergalactic opera singer hiding stones in her stomach, and Tom "Tiny" Lister Jr. Cast as the President?! Writer/director Luc Besson simply must have been taking seriously wicked drugs at the time!

Logic, structure, plausibility, ... it doesn't matter. Entertainment does! "The Fifth Element" has plenty of entertainment and plain old-fashioned fun to offer in all departments, with as highlights the costume designs of Jean-Paul Gauthier, and the little gimmicks about life in the 23rd century. For instance, we'll still have McDonald's and cigarettes (although it's ¾ filter)

"Lady Dynamite" - aka "La Padrina" which roughly translates as "The Godmother" - is a missed opportunity, for sure. When I first read the synopsis of this 1973 Poliziotesschi/euro-crime thriller, I automatically assumed those clever Italians were already following the example of movies like "Coffy" and "Foxie Brown" and bring to the foreground the character of a strong & independent woman in world usually dominated by nasty and sleazy men. That's also how the movie (promisingly) starts. At the party for their 10th wedding anniversary, Donna Constanza is abruptly widowed when her husband (and mafia boss of five influential families in the NY region) gets gunned down during his speech. With his last powers, he whispers the name of the person who hired the assassin, and she promptly travels to Palermo to avenge him.

Alas, though, as soon as she lands in Sicily, Donna Costanza once more relies on macho men like Venantino Venantini and Anthony Steffen to do her dirty work...

How awesome would it have been if "La Padrina" revolved around a Mafia Donna version of Pam Grier who seduces, misleads, and then mercilessly slays the male enemies that treat her arrogantly and underestimate her? Answer: so awesome, especially because the Poliziotesschi subgenre desperately needed some strong feminist figures and role-models. I passionately love the genre and practically every title that I have seen thus far, but I honestly can't deny it's an utmost woman-unfriendly type of cinema. Women in Poliziotesschi just serve to sleep with, slap around, and murder. "La Padrina" sadly doesn't change this routine and, to my knowledge, no other movie ever did afterwards.

So, basically, this is a very ordinary Poliziotteschi, and if I then compare it to the work of directors such as Fernando Di Leo and Umberto Lenzi, a very weak and inconspicuous one. The pacing is often slow, there are too many supportive characters that I couldn't keep apart, and the action sequences are unremarkable. There is one excessively brutal and vile strangulation, and - of course - the victim is a woman.

A 10-year-old mute girl, who already has a vivid imagination, witnesses a murder whilst on business holiday with her parents in Amsterdam and becomes the next target of the killer. It sounds like the clichéd and overused plot of a standard B-movie thriller, and - make no mistake - it is! And yet, in the capable hands of Dutch deity Dick Maas, who practically shooting this whole thing in his backyard, it definitely still holds some entertainment value.

The story is predictable yet absurd, the plot is full of holes & irrationalities, and the famous people (Hurt, Tilly, Leary) give away terrible acting performances while the local actors have dreadful accents. Then what's good about it? Well, "Do Not Disturb" offers unpretentious and fast-paced action, with good use of idyllic Amsterdam locations and a handful of spectacular deaths.

Of course, what I loved most were the unmistakably obvious references towards the two previous horror movies that Maas made in his home country in the 1980s, namely "Amsterdamned" (with plenty of action taking place in the canals and on tourist boats) and "De Lift" (with a tense sequence inside an elevator shaft).

For several years I refused to watch "Down", plain and simply because the 1983 original is one of the most important and influential movies of my life! "De Lift" was the first horror movie I ever watched, and it simultaneously terrified and fascinated me. It was one of the first genuine horror movies to emerge from my geographical region (The Netherlands/Belgium) but more than 40 years later it's still (one of) the best!

I was never interested in what a US-remake of my childhood nightmare would look like, but admittedly over the years I grew curious to see what writer/director (and personal hero) Dick Maas could do with a decent budget and an excellent B-movie cast, and particularly how he would incorporate his typical sense of sardonic black humor.

Well, the most positive comment I can give is that Maas remained true to himself. Dick Maas is still Dick Maas, whether he shoots a movie in the US or in The Netherlands. The problem, however, is that the audiences and critics can't seem to distinguish. Far too many people take this movie deadly serious, even though it's a campy and deliberately tongue-in-cheek tale about an elevator (!) going ballistic and killing a whole lot of innocent people in gruesome ways. The entire crew and cast, with perhaps the exception of James Marshall, didn't take it seriously, so why should you? Also great is that there aren't any taboos in Dick Maas' world when it comes to death victims! Nobody is safe, not even pregnant women, young children, blind people, or their cute guardian dogs. The gore and suspense highlights of the original are maintained, like a grisly decapitation and a frightening moment with a little girl and her doll, but there also are a few brilliantly over-the-top additions, like the skyrocketing of the elevator cabin full of people until it literally bursts through the roof.

Not a personal or cinematic landmark, like the original, but tremendously entertaining regardless of what the bad reviews state.

It is titles like "24 Hours of Terror" that provide me with the biggest thrills and the greatest satisfaction! It's not very good, but it's extremely obscure and - moreover - a sort of pioneer when it comes to blending styles and subgenres. Finding a (decent) copy of a rare horror/euro-crime movie most people have never heard about - let alone seen - is a thrill.

First, let's be very honest. "24 Hours of Terror" is already a short film (84 minutes) and then still at least 35-40% is pure and redundant filler material. It starts with exaggeratedly overlong footage of someone driving a car to the airport, then parking his car, and then walking towards the entrance. Ten minutes of running time covered; check. Throughout the movie there's also a lot of random shots of owls, and it ends with a seemingly endless shot of a taxiing and departing airplane. You begin to think the plane might crash or explode, or something, but no.

The whodunit aspect of the plot isn't exactly the greatest mystery in history, neither. There are six potential murderers, and - guess what - the one everyone suspects from the beginning is also the actual culprit. There are hardly any attempts to mislead the viewer, to complicate the plot, or to gradually mount the tension.

But you know what? It doesn't matter! "24 Hours of Terror" is nevertheless entertaining and special. The film was made in 1964 and it mixes elements of a Giallo and Euro-crime in the setting of a Gothic horror! The Giallo was only just invented (with Mario Bava's "The Girl Who Knew Too Much" and "Blood and Black Lace") and it would take another few years before the Euro-Crime genre would properly break through.

Although only 12 years old around the time of release of "Basic Instinct", I vividly remember how during a talk show on Dutch television, Paul Verhoeven (who was a guest) aggressively got accused of portraying lesbian and bisexual women as all being psychotic murderers. Moral of this anecdote? Regardless of what movie he makes, Paul Verhoeven will always be controversial.

I love "Basic Instinct", and always considered it as one of the greatest (erotic) thrillers of the 90s. The plot is simple and the denouement predictable, but it's a must-see if you like rough and unrestrained plots, unpleasant characters, and unfiltered sex and violence! And there's more, because of ALL the many "Femme Fatale" thrillers of the late 80s/early 90s era, "Basic Instinct" is by far the most feminist one. The character of Catherine Tramell is very powerful one, and the legendary scene in which SHE is the boss in an interrogation room full of supposedly hardcore macho coppers is just brilliant. Tramell, as performed by Sharon Stone, is pure female power. She's rich, she's intelligent, and she's uncontrollable. No wonder cop-on-the-edge Nick Curran becomes embroiled with her case, and even more with her as a suspect.

One of the approximately 3.000 things for which you can wake me up at night is a good, gritty, and unsettling dystopian Sci-Fi movie from the sixties or seventies! And that includes made-for-TV productions because, usually, they compensate with intelligent screenplays and uncanny atmosphere for what they lack in special effects and spectacular set-pieces due to their low budgets. "Genesis II" is such a compelling and reasonably entertaining TV-movie but, in the end, it's too silly and implausible to be labeled as disturbing (or even memorable, for that matter).

Some of the names involved are promising, for sure. Director John Llewellyn Moxey definitely the most competent TV-director of that era, and the script was written by none other than Gene Roddenberry. Yes, he was the guy who created "Star Trek", so you may righteously assume he knew a thing or two about Science-Fiction. Roddenberry's idea clearly was to recycle the Buck Rogers formula but make it slightly eerier and grimmer. Let's conclude that he partially succeeded.

It's 1979 and brilliant scientist Dylan Hunt is about to test a new suspended animation technique when there's an earthquake that buries his laboratory quite deep underground. The least you can say about his invention is that it works, because it's the year 2134 when Hunt wakes up! Quite a lot changed as well, since there are two main civilization tribes and they both want to claim ownership of Hunt and exploit his technical knowledge and previous life-experiences. Who to choose? Hunt feels the most affection for the stunningly beautiful Lyra-a, but can you really trust a woman with two bellybuttons? "Genesis II" is overall too slow, too talkative, and too cliched to remain interesting until the end. Alex Cord is strong as Hunt, but he got nevertheless replaced with John Saxon for the sequel (more or less) "Planet Earth.