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Reviews
Death of a President (2006)
Two for the Premise and None for the Show
I bought this movie on a pure whim of decent premise. The back eludes to neither pro or anti-bush, and even quotes how it's made for "thinkers". This is all garbage.
Basically, you're gonna assume it'll start off with Bush getting picked off somehow by some dubious fellow, and move onto an intriguing "what-if" scenario. Questions riddled my head, "wonder what Chaney would do much different?", "how would the U.S. really respond?", "what would become of Bush's course of actions?", "what would happen in 2008? 2018? 2050?", "how would the rest of the world view this?".
But forget all that, you're set on a journey of 30% anti-Bush protests news clips before death, 60% forensic "whodunit", 10% no freedom wagon.
Firstly, this movie is overwhelmingly anti-Bush with the only pro-remarks coming from his speech writer (all mainly personal, not political). Second, this is NOT a political movie, it's a murder mystery you don't care about because it didn't happen.
Even when it mentioned Chaney moving up to presidency I perked up for a moment, as if the opening credits ended and the movie were about to begin, but no, no, back to some fictional trial with a bunch of malarkey about evidence. It's fictional, make overwhelming evidence, make the assassin found dead, and give us a political yarn to unravel.
This movie deserves to be protested, shot, then put on fictional trial before we all come together and whine about crappy movies.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
1 of 2 Movies I've Ever Shut Off
Calm down my Gothic emo kids excited that your wannabe cult flick resulted in another poor victim that "just couldn't handle it", there's quite a further reason why: It was terrible.
That's right, this is a 30min review. I'm ignorant, didn't watch the whole thing, don't care to know the ending, and glad to know I wasn't like a prior poster that lost Xmins of their life.
Well, actually, since I can't review it, here's my reasons why I'd convince people to avoid it:
-Burton's little goth thing has lost its appeal. His dead white faces are about as original as Tarantino's plot placements. May as well use black and white film if you're gonna desaturate it that much, but oh, need color for the blood! -The blood looked completely fake. Japanese ninja b-films have better effects. In fact, the dubbed dialog in those films are better too. -Script? I mean lyrics... In fact, in the 30mins I watched, that was around 28-29mins singing, with a 30sec musical interlude between scene changing. Can't say I'm a huge musical fan, but, really? Is constant singing necessary? Oliver! is one of my favorite movies, every song is memorable and fitting, and easy to see a good musical over one of the worst movies I've ever seen. -Ever notice how the only people to recommend this movie are people you'd normally encounter at the local Hot Topic? "Misunderstood people" that only a singing zombie could impress. Scoff the normality of society as you consume Todd's tees, stickers, dolls, and dvds, heh. Seems to be a rarity that an average film lover would enjoy this (let alone feels it earns such a high IMDb rank). Hell, even the followers of the older version have their deeper knit picking against this movie. With such a fine fan base it should be obvious whether or not you'll enjoy this movie.
*Only other movie shut off was King of the Ants, if you've seen either one all the way through, you have earned my respect and an award of many sorts.
Bibleman (1995)
Another Poor Spin off Attempt
There's a common consistency with Christians and "fishing for men(children, really)" that cracks me up. Whenever there's an attempt to copy, it fails. This is seen in movies, video games, music, and TV shows. It's beyond me how a religion expects to dopplegang a popular thing and make it suitable for their morales. As stated, many times before, shows like Veggie Tales sell--both monetarily and morally. This is due to originality... To summarize: Christian copy = FAIL Christian originality = SUCCESS
That said, "Bibleman" fits in the prior. It's a garbage copy of a copy. It spins off other children's shows, and doesn't bring anything further to the table. The plots are lacking creativity, the messages are mixed, the characters are terrible, the edit job is comedic, and the sets are a B-film joke.
I don't want to knock any of the "values" or "ideas" expressed in some of the episodes. This is a children's show, and not meant to become a forum for non-Christians to retort (which is hard, lol). I find it funny that religious trollers lurk to the Da Vinci Code/Golden Compass/ETC. boards and rant hopelessly, and this comment list is filled with the exact same thing (in an opposite fashion), so forget it.
My recommendation to the Christian parent: Check it out and pick it up (I'm sure it's cheap). As other parents stated before, it does have the values you're looking for. Nonetheless, don't expect anything fantastic, like more mainstream religious entertainment.
My recommendation to the rest of us: Watch this. Not for its values or purpose, but for the sheer morbid love for terrible shows. If your one of those people that "knock" at things for the comedy of failure, this is for you. I'm sure it'll spark a blog or youtube video of all sorts.
The Breed (2006)
Are you serious?
I've seen some really bad B-Films--pornographic, shaky cam, dubbed and redubbed, poor actors off the street, and sheer "youtube" better than this.
Firstly, it doesn't try to be a B-film, so you won't find the "plan B" humor at all.
Secondly, this isn't a horror film, it's drama. Minute to minute comparison is vastly swayed toward the two brothers' whining, the two girls' sexual needs, and one out of place black guy along for the drama. Seriously, how many classic horror films have this? -Halloween, no -Friday the 13th, no -Nightmare on Elm St., no -Nosferatu, no -Night of the Living Dead, no -etc, etc, etc...
Anyways, back to the real review.
Third, the actors were portrayed as "intelligent", yet stray far from the idea. Countless examples of never barricading, arming, or planning. Instead, it was whining and drama until a dog showed up; a shock to be sure, heh.
Fourth, no reaction to their close friends' deaths.
Fifth, Cujo rip offs, never close to the original chills.
Sixth, "They chewed through the ropes on purpose!" <- That line alone makes the movie terrible in my opinion.
Eh, too much more to be said about this. So, I'll leave with this:
=AVOID=
Go see: Cujo, The Birds, or even the upcoming Black Sheep.
Kidô senshi Gundam F91 (1991)
I'm fairly impressed
Through my course of anime obsession, I've grown to love anything and everything Gundam. Though, there have been a series or two I've strayed away from (SEED and TurnA). Gundam F91 was once in the category. Being a whole series condensed into just one movie did not fancy my interests, not to mention it looked cheesy compared to the rest of the UC era. Finally after picking up the first few volumes of Crossbone Gundam manga, I knew I'd have to see the movie. It turns out, it was pretty good for what it is.
Story(***): Out of 5 because it is fairly intriguing, but nothing new. One does tire of the same old plot of a civilian getting into a Gundam, showing Newtype abilities, and being thrown into the chaos that's happening around them. Nonetheless, it does get the extra push because it is slightly different, and the original scenario does set a great backbone for the rest of the movie. Also, the character's individual stories were fast moving (due to time limits), but you do begin to feel for them.
Animation(*****): If Neon Genesis came out in 1996, and this predates it by 5 years, it looks spectacular. The mobile suits look great and the characters hold true to the gundam style. What I truly enjoyed are all the minor details: The F91's fins opening as it launches, minute strafe thrusts as mobiles suits dock, snow and rain, debris of everything you can imagine pouring out of a space colony breach... it's all there.
Sound(*****): I do not believe, in a single Gundam series--past and present--have I heard such details of battle. Again, it's small things like bullets ricocheting off of armor, individual rocks moving, small scrapes from mobile suits landing on metal carrier decks, etc. Also, the music is second only to Char's Counter Attack. You gotta love "Eternal Wind", and the "Imperial March"-esquire background score.
My biggest gripe is how short it is. This is perfect material for a 6 OVA series. Had it been a little longer, we'd see more of the villain's background, and some nicer fights with Seabook facing off against Crossbone aces.
There's a lot of drama, a lot of good flashiness, some amazing sound, and a good deal of light hearted humor from the would-be-heroes. So, I suggest definitely giving this movie a try. As always with Gundam anime, you're going to want to start from the beginning and not here.
Kidô senshi Z Gandamu III: Hoshi no kodô wa ai (2006)
The Final Installment
Many fans got to see the first two movies of the trilogy through fansubs, but upon licensing, were left out on the final movie.
The same highlights of the first two movies are here as well, cleaned up and/or redone animation, some new soundtracks (primarily the opening and ending songs).
The story continues where II left off, Hamaan and the Neo-Zeon (though their name isn't established until ZZ) show up and begin negotiations with Char and the AEUG. In an attempt to re-establish the Principality of Zeon with a new heir, they've dragged the asteroid Axis along for the ride (filled with nuclear weapons and a fleet of new ships and advanced mobile suits). As if this wasn't enough, Scirocco begins his coup against the Titans, and all four factions (including the AEUG) struggle for dominance in their beliefs for the future of the Earth Sphere at the Gryps colony area.
As the movie progresses, it gets complicated. Alliances are made and broken by not only the four factions, but several characters as well. With the already set fast paced, the viewer can expect to see two characters fighting together, then fighting each other every 5-10mins. Normally, this course of events would take several episodes to accomplish, and allow a feeling of time passing by, but this isn't the case. Also, with the fast paced action, Titan and Scirocco ace pilots have a new mobile suit in every battle. It becomes hard to distinguish who's who and who's fighting who very quickly unless you've seen the original series. The original trilogy (0079) faced the same problem, but it wasn't nearly as bad as this. It took time to build up why each suit was greater than the last. The Gouf was found to be a stronger though much different form of the massly used Zaku II; the Doms were first introduced through the Tristars before seen as mass produced in the third movie; and even Char's constantly changing suits weren't too hard to keep up with (Zaku S->z'Gok->Gelgoog->Zeong). In Zeta though, it's much different.
Also, in the original series, large plot battles showed more emphasis on Amuro fighting common enemy pilots and ships before dog fighting his rival. In this movie, you can expect to see Camille launch, fire a salvo of missing shots, and watch the rival retreat; over and over again. Though the movie is heavily action oriented, I felt bored watching my "heros" launch, and chase other mobile suits all over the battle field, then retreat. To make the final battles more enticing, instead of the usual missed shots and retreat, another pilot would get killed before the enemy's retreat. Just once, I wanted to see Char and Camille go out and destroy a fleet of commons before the enemy aces could show up, as Amuro originally did.
In the end though, it holds as a good movie after getting through some serious chaos. I must admit, it made me anxious to see ZZ because it does end on almost a "to be continued..." note.
In summation, be prepared for some fast paced chaos, and several boring battles, but in the end a solid gundam classic.
Also, I compared much of A New Translation to the original 0079 trilogy due to the same format of 50+ episodes into 3 movies.
Kidô senshi Z Gundam - A New Translation: Hoshi wo tsugumono (2004)
Yay, Zeta is back!
Many Gundam fans consider Zeta their, by far, favorite series. It's dark, it's depressing, many character relationships, and a lot of old favorites (like Amuro, Char, and even Katz) unite under the same banner.
A New Translation refines and gives glory to the aging series, for a new generation. As discussed in previous posts, much of it got a nice face lift, but allow me to summarize what to expect (along with my sole gripe).
The series primarily opens and follows the path of Camille, a young boy driven by his emotions. Living under the opening oppression of the Titans, Camille steals one of their prototype gundams (the MKII), and is recruited by the Anti-Earth United Government (AEUG). It is here that we begin seeing familiar faces. All characters suffer and witness many hardships through their battles and grow stronger in their commitment and abilities (mainly Camille developing his Newtype abilities).
Having seen the original episodes that correspond with the movie, I can tell you not much has been left out or changed. A few scenes are shortened, and the ones left out feel more like a deleted scene extra that many DVDs have. Also, only one major plot point was delayed until later but it still eventually occurred. My only gripe is that things do begin moving faster and faster, but not enough to get lost (until III, which I'll comment on as well).
If you've seen the original Zeta, definitely pick this up, it'll be nostalgic seeing it in modern glory.
If you've seen other gundams, but never Zeta, be hesitant. If you're still enthusiastic about seeing Zeta, try movie I, and if it interests you, pick up the rest. If this route is taken, be prepared to look up additional summaries and FAQs as the trilogy progresses (I do believe MAHQ has the original Zeta episode summaries).
If you're new to anime and wanna see a gundam after something you saw on Cartoon Network, do NOT begin with this, you'll be beyond lost. Try watching the UC gundams in their time line order: 0079 (original trilogy is very good), 08th MS Team, 0080 (my personal favorite), 0083, then Zeta, ZZ, Char's Counter Attack, and if you're still feeling excited, V.
If you're not into anime, why would you even be reading this?
OK Connery (1967)
Sorry You're Related Sean...
I checked this out through MST3K (as most have already pointed out). To tell the truth, I was pretty excited... being a huge Bond fan, and loving the small Bond roles like in OHMSS, but this was worse than B-Film "comedy". Allow me to lay out the plot of this fiasco:
Sneaking dealings arise when Largo/Diabolico surfaces and kidnaps a patient of Dr. Connery. Apparently, Bond's brother (as mentioned by M) is a plastic surgeon with the special ability to hypnotize unsuspecting people Jedi style (within 2-3sec). For some ungodly reason, I suppose the real Bond was busy with more important things (I'd like to think getting plastered on a remote island). So, the MOD hires his brother to discover what's going on.
Before you know it, Dr. Connery is taking out electric fence perimeters with a bow and arrow, showgirls in the middle of nowhere manage to take out an army convoy, and blind Arabs are weaving radioactive carpets. One may wonder where this will lead, well, Largo manages to unleash an EMP (they just called it a magnet) on a small mountain town in the Alps. At this point, I'm sure nobody would care, but no, a squad of horsemen with bows and arrows somehow appear and storm the enemy base.
In the end, the day is saved by the dud, and he settles in by somehow managing to get a whole ship of women under his charm (more mind tricks I'm sure cause the desperate brother couldn't con his right hand into charm).
Q, or someone pretending to be him, never makes an appearance, but you can expect three fine spy gadgets in this film: a bow with a spool, a knife that shoots its blade(used by a female villain, and also may I add a useless weapon compared to say... a gun), and a belt that becomes stiff for throwing as a javelin *rolls eyes*.
Any Bond fan should vier away from ever being disgusted by this movie.
Kidô Senshi Gundam 0080 Pocket no Naka no Sensô (1989)
One of my favorites
When Gundam0079 became the movie trilogy most of us are familiar with, a lot of it was sheer action and less of anything else. This OVA is kinda the opposite. Though there're only half a dozen episodes, it isn't filled with action, but emotional things. The two main action sequences in this, I believe, are enough to satisfy me. After seeing so many gundam series, movies, and OVAs, I was completely ready for a civilian-esquire movie. This movie did a fantastic job of that. What makes this movie stand out is that shows both sides of the war have good and bad people. It made the Zeons seem more human rather than the original movies where they're depicted as the second rise of evil Nazis. Most people that don't like anime that I've forced to watch this movie (lol), liked it. So, I'd recommend it to a lot of people just for the anti-war story. If you're a Gundam fan, and haven't seen this, you shouldn't be reading this; you should already be watching it right now.
Spun (2002)
One of my favorite drug flicks
As other commenters said, it's hard to relate to this film unless you've been in the users' situation. In my case, I'm in the center of a bunch of users. This film moreorless glamorizes the drug Meth, until it get towards the end. It is a little unrealistic in some scenes, but overall the idea of being spun and doing absolutely nothing constructive is very realistic. The soundtrack to this is A+, I wish they'd release it.
The actors are all amazing, and I'd say at their best in this.
The story isn't really the most fantastic thing you'll find, but what is really fantastic about getting high of chemicals?
The directing was phenomenal! It's amazing what you'll pick up every time you'll watch it. Any indie film lover will begin pointing out film-geek things like the symbolism of the car. A run down dumpy Volvo that is an ongoing symbol of the main character. Just overworked, clocking mileage, and always getting dinged up here and there... stuff like that.
Hostel (2005)
"Best horror film of the decade"... Yeah right
This looks like a pretty promising movie. I'm looking at the promotions with Tarintino's brand, reviews for being terrifying, and people be taken out of the theaters. The idea of being able to pay to kill someone however you want was interesting and could've made a fantastic movie... sadly this isn't it. When we popped the DVD in, I knew it was going to be bad in the first 5min. 3 guys, in Europe, looking for the almighty sex. How many poor horror films in the last decade have started with this premise!? I thought it'd get better, but for the first half, I was just watching a really poor porno film, with music to boot. When the gore finally came, I found myself laughing uncontrollably rather than even beginning to be scared or creeped out. The ONLY part of this movie I remotely enjoyed were the group of kids straight out of Oliver Twist romping the life out of the pursuers. I got a kick out of that.
Unless you're a huge fan of Fangoria, B-Film, Blood, and Gore movies please please skip this. Even for those people that get kicks out of seeing boobs and sex, get a porn and watch that instead while waiting for a better horror film to come out. Chances are, the story and action will be a lot better in the porn...
Iga ninpôchô (1982)
One of the coolest films I've seen in years!
I picked this up out of a $5 bin at Wal-Mart. It came with 8 other movies all on DVD. In the last three days, I've watched this three times. In the beginning, I got a little confused as to what was going on with all the black magic being talked about, but I got submerged deep into it soon after. The defining part of this movie is definitely when a girl gets her head cut off and just stands there spraying blood for a minute or two while a bad guy just chills next to it. Sonny Chiba was also great in this. I still haven't found Jackie Chan, but I'm sue I'll find him from watching this over and over. I recommend anybody who sees this movie in a clearance bin or laying around to get it. It's sure to please martial art, action, and b-film hilarity lovers everywhere.