Reviews
Barefoot (2014)
Don't step on this movie's toes!
All you have to do is scan thru all the critic's reviews and you'll quickly see why movies like Benny and Joon aren't greenlit anymore. This is one of the most charming, obnoxiously endearing, feel good movies I've seen in ages! And Evan Rachel Wood is hypnotizing to watch.
Don't be gaslit into hyper-focusing on the improbabilities. We all know this is a highly unlikely scenario. As was Benny and Joon. Same goes for Mozart and the Whale (oddly enough, based on a true story). Same thing with so many other adorable, romantic, unrealistic stories that ended up making us feel good and giving us a reason to escape our reality for a couple hours.
Just enjoy this little gem. It's consistently funny and cute and if you're human, you'll be crying a bit by the end. Don't overthink it. Modern critics are why we can't have nice things anymore.
Happy Endings (2005)
I was so happy when it ended!
The worst thing about this abomination of a film is that it's completely oblivious to how truly awful and inconsequential it is. For the record, I love ensemble cast, intertwining stories and even when they're not perfect, at least one story line usually keeps you intrigued. Not the case here.
It's so poorly executed that it would be far easier to point out what worked than to pick through the cloyingly terrible carcus of this story. Jason Ritter. That's about it. Not much else, sadly. It was all so clumsy and those irritating narration subtitles! So so so bad.
The Opposite of Sex seems like a happy accident now! Not sure what happened to this writer/director, but this was grueling. Over 2 hrs, too! He should be ashamed of himself!
Garbage 🗑
The Future (2011)
Pretentiousness killed the cat
The feeling of losing a single marble as it skips across sidewalks in a seemingly familiar setting.
Clink
Clink
Elusive, in its nature, it leaves you and finds itself tangled in the strings of time. Spanning infinitely. You dream and dream, but it's gone.
You wake to find it's essence up in the sky, in the moon. But, alas... it will never be attainable. Futility. Despair.
Why have you left me here, it cries!
Why why why why why why why why why
The meaning of the words cease to make sense as you pull open the curtains and find a single moment crumpled. Like an old comforting t shirt on the floor. "Don't leave!" It cries... but no. I must be on my way.
The end. Thanks for pretending to be deep with me. That was fun.
Kajillionaire (2020)
Matchstick fam
Bring on the hate, but this is a really good example of a "sorry you didn't get it" movie. No no, I got it. The message just got tiresome by the time it was delivered. Most of the people gushing over this will never return to it. Like me, they wanted to like it more than they actually did.
You could watch a good portion of this film on mute until the third act and have a similar experience. And while I appreciated the quirkiness and all the small time grifts, this story embraced randomness to the point where only the culmination felt real.
All in all, I enjoyed the set up and the finale, but found much of the second act to be tiresome. But it ended nicely - actually, it was pretty close to a perfect con movie ending. Wasn't enough for me to give it more than 5 stars, but maybe it will be for you?
Flower (2017)
Zoey steals the show
...shocker, I know. She's simply fearless and completely owns the role. And, honestly, outshines every other actor in the film.
Btw - If you're easily offended or unconformable with teenage sexuality, just skip this one. It's not even somewhat flirting with certain topics, it's unapologetically provocative.
That being said, considering how subversive and lascivious it was in the first half, I was surprised to see it culminate in a paint-by-numbers third act. In fact, it initially had such a no-holds-barred approach that it wouldn't surprise me if the ending was a rewrite. Or some sort of studio decision. Idk. I still really enjoyed the journey, but the ending seemed a tad disingenuous.
And, while I'd love to have believed this was a love story, it was a teen rebellion film first. Then, an awkward coming of age film. Then a drama about addiction. Then about sexual abuse. Then about plotting revenge. Then about accidental murder/ vigilante justice. Etc etc...
Regardless, Zoey was awesome and the movie pushed some boundaries. Without those two elements, it was really an implausible screenplay with a Hollywood ending. Borderline aimless in fact, but full of surprises. It had enough going for it and was never bored, so I enjoyed the ride.
Good Dick (2008)
The title wasn't a great choice, imo...
...but the story was touching, darkly humorous, sad and beautiful. Performances were top notch 👌
I watched this movie about a week ago and can't stop thinking about it! Besides the fact that it's totally up my alley, in terms of storytelling and indie filmmaking, it struck a chord. Largely because I've met people like the main character before. In fact, 4 yrs ago, I met a woman very similar and accidentally fell in love with her. A similarly awkward relationship carried on for a couple years, but it was nearly impossible to maintain. We still keep in touch, but the reality of meeting an emotionally fractured person is that you're only allowed to get so close. And, well... that's another story. But this one is worth your time, assuming you're not an emotionally immature person.
For what it's going for and for all it's constraints (budget and otherwise), I feel like this got pretty close to nailing it. Many will find it frustrating and maybe even aggravating, but certain people will understand and revel in how beautiful and poignant this story is. This will stick with me and I'll return to it one day.
About Fate (2022)
Breakfast at Bennigans
This starts off as implausible, but it was intriguing enough to make me want to believe it might be clever. So, I suspended my disbelief. The first half was a bit goofy, but came across as a totally likeable romcom. The second half is where everything came dismantled.
It wasn't just that almost everything seemed improbable, it was that it was too over the top and trite. This all culminates with an aggravating showdown involving a black belt and our leading man, Griffen, and continues the absurdity until it evens out and returns to the predictable, but likeable conclusion.
I'm going with 6 stars because... ugh, Emma Roberts. She's too darn charming. It's really more of a 5 star movie, but it has it's heart in the right place. I never had any delusions that this was going to be a classic, but it wasn't far from being one of those holiday comfort films that you secretly love.
Brad's Status (2017)
The status of bread
Among the most aggravatingly annoying films I've ever seen. I stuck through it with the assumption that a twist or profound meaning to it all would arise (I gave Mike White way too much credit).
But no. Nothing came of this. Just a sad, narcissist narrating his own boring, inconsequential life for us to marvel at. Oh! What a startling revelation! My life isn't so bad, after all!
Nothing profound happens. No major revelations. No giant character arcs. Just whiny, entitled narration over dull, everyday upper middle class "problems".
There is so very little redeeming about this movie that I'm forced to give it one star. The ultimate bummer of a film and I'll cherish the hate I have for it for the remainder of my, admittedly, mediocre life. Brad, and his aforementioned status, may exit stage left via my foot to his arse. Never to return!
For those terrible people that upvoted this trite rubbish - you know I'm right and you'll never rewatch, or even think about, this exceptionally dull garbage dumpster of a movie.
It's a Disaster (2012)
"I really don't care for Merlot"
This is a very funny film! Not Caddyshack type funny, it's more about human behavior, the relevancy of the times we live in and the absurdity of it all. In other words, this is not meant for immature people. Reminded me a bit of Short Cuts by Robert Altman, but with more dark humor.
By the end, all the intertwining stories culminate and come to a crashing crescendo and i don't think there was a better way for this to end! "Are we doing this or what?!". Perfect.
The cast was stellar, the classical music paired nicely with the mounting insanity, and the script was poignant, smart and just edgy enough without going overboard. Loved this movie - totally my brand of humor 👌
Hit Man (2023)
"Keeps the b*tches b*tchin'"
This movie has a bit of everything! It's like Fletch meets Confessions of a Dangerous Mind with a bit of The Nice Guys and, of course, Linklater's trademark philosophical schtick added. Make no mistake, this isn't trying to be Chinatown - it's most certainly a comedy, in line with the aforementioned movies. There's a lot to like here!
Glen Powell is a funny and charming guy who's rising quickly - he's got that Ryan Reynolds, Gosling thing. A touch of Sam Rockwell, too. This is a great role for him!
Aaand now the negative - it wrapped up too neatly. I, unfortunately, didn't entirely buy the love story. While intriguing (there was some chemistry!), it was too cut and dry. I'm surprised Linklater went in this direction, frankly, and not sure what to say about it. I guess he had his fun with this zany story and gave us a happy ending, but it felt disingenuous. Didn't ruin it for me, just surprised by the Hollywood ending 🤷♂️
Overall, I can't deny that it's a step in the right direction for what people want to see. This is entertainment. It delivered. It's funny, sexy and mysterious with good looking people! It's ok to want that - it's what Hollywood was built on. It's been a while since I've enjoyed a newer movie like this, so I'm pretty happy with my 2 hr experience. Flaws and all, it's just fun!
The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)
Juuust short of totally radical to the max...
This has become somewhat of a cult classic, but in actuality, it's a nostalgic teen film. The soundtrack is pretty killer, the cast is mostly bodacious and the premise is totally tubular. But, upon revisiting this supposed classic, it's really a fantasy for young people. For kids, really.
I hate to complain because it's a good time capsule movie and these were so fun to watch growing up. But, it needed a bit more edginess or at least more plausible scenarios to be a true cult classic. I can suspend my disbelief, but it's just too close to a TV movie at times.
Anyway, you could obviously critique the hell outta this 80s teen rebellion fantasy. I'll cut it short and say that it could've been totally radical. Instead, it's pretty fun and nostalgic with a dash of style and a unique setting (how many movies are set on the gulf coast of Texas?!). Not as bitchin' as I remember, but a nice trip down memory lane. Overall, I'd say it's worth a revisit.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)
I want some, too! Ooooowwww
Well, if you wanna hang out in the summer of '80 and listen to a pretty righteous soundtrack, you've come to the right place!
This film does not have an overly engaging plot. As I'm sure many have pointed out, it's like Dazed and Confused in the sense that it's trying to capture the essence of a time period. A slice of life. A few days in 1980. And that's the film, basically.
If that doesn't appeal to you, you're just not gonna get it. And that's cool, I understand. I grew up in the 90s, but was a kid during this time and still found it oddly nostalgic. Times were different. People were different. I was intrigued by this little time capsule of a movie and I feel like, in a way, it will just keep going on in my mind. I dig it.
The Town (2010)
Townie finds love between heists
Things I'm not crazy about in cinema:
Guns
Cops
Feds
Bank heists
Jabronis with noo yowk or boowston accents
Long action scenes involving guns, cops, feds, bank heists and f'n jabronis from NY or Boston. Don't care. At all.
But this is a solid flick. Completely engaging from start to finish with wonderful performances. Without the love story, this wouldn't have worked for me. And, honestly, it was just enough. In other words, that was the gimmick that roped me in and it worked. Just enough. Maybe too much more would've been sappy, but there were certainly other layers that sucked me in.
Good, solid action film 👍. A genre I, admittedly, kinda hate.
Twin Falls Idaho (1999)
Two-headed boy...
Wow.... this is very close to being among one of the most fascinating and moving films in recent years! Unfortunately, it stutters between the end of the 2nd act into the 3rd. But man, what a ride!
It's one of those films where you want to forgive the shortcomings because there's something there that you love and want to see more of. Maybe that's why the third act feels like a letdown. It's exactly what you'd expect, for the most part. And, maybe more importantly, the way the 2nd act segued into the final act made me realize what was to become. And that pulled me away from the intimacy a bit.
It's an imperfect story, and yes, I thought of Elephant Man and other Lynch films as well early Van Sant movies while I watched (drugstore cowboy, my own private Idaho). But it had an earnest intimacy that mostly endured. And I'll remember it for that. It never falls flat on its face, but in my opinion, there's an undiscovered masterpiece hidden here. So close. Still really liked it 👍
Fresh Horses (1988)
Bring on the dancing horses
I was young when this came out, but I loved John Hughes films. By this point in the later 80s, I remember not getting Ferris and 16 Candles movies anymore. Or at least far less, and not the same. You got these type of more serious, young adult films and I hated it! I refused to see this at the time and thought the title was so lame that I never even considered watching it. Until I was sick in bed and it popped up in the year 2024. I watched it on a whim....
First off, this is technically somewhere between a pretty bad to mediocre movie. But there's also more going on than meets the eye. I could fill this review with all the obvious shortcomings (the screenplay needed a pretty big overhaul - too many unnecessary characters, dialogue issues, etc etc), but I'll keep it to a minimum.
Besides the setting itself, which was refreshingly unique, the film is focused on more pertinent and dramatic elements than you'd expect from the so called "brat pack". Unfortunately, there in lies the problem. The film's heart may be in the right place, but it's all so clumsy that parts of it just fall to pieces. And yes, I'm aware that our socio-economic politics have changed! And our sensibilities, too. Still, there are some poorly thought out aspects to this screenplay and some directorial choices that left me perplexed. If it were pure schlock, I wouldn't think twice. But there's some serious subject matter going on here.
The most engaging aspect of this screenplay (initially a stage play) revolves around the credibility of Jewel. Is she going to f this guy over? Is she telling the truth? What really happened that night? How old is she really? Etc etc... in the end, while intriguing, the details don't matter (and they're never fully revealed). She's obviously been through a lot and that's what's important. Even though the Andrew McCarthy character is, as written, not really a savior, he's made a difference in her life. And that's how the film ends. With him (and us) seeing that a well intentioned connection can be life-changing.
I believe this to be more of a 5 star film, but I can't help but see something more profound hidden. There's a better version of this movie. Somewhere. And with a better soundtrack!
Anyway, this movie will haunt me a bit. Ringwald's character will haunt me mainly. Most of us have met someone like that. Someone who holds dark secrets, but you never really know what it is that lies inside...
Youth in Revolt (2009)
Au revoir, virginité...
Soooo close to being a classic coming-of-age movie! All in all, I guess it succeeded, but it wasn't entirely able to keep the outlandishly stylish and whimsical narrative going throughout.
I saw this soon after it's release, and just revisited it. One thing that struck me - in the 00s, I took these kind of films for granted. It never occurred to me that indie movies with ensemble casts, good soundtracks and loads of style would all but disappear. I don't exactly know when they stopped making these, but it wasn't long after this movie.
I was entertained throughout, so no major complaints. Maybe some pacing issues, but it was fun to revisit. And made me nostalgic for a time I didn't know I was missing! I think the current imdb rating is about correct, but I'm rounding up to 7.
Destination Wedding (2018)
Sitting here like uninvited company/Wallowing in my own obscenities/Share a cigarette with negativity
I can totally understand why not everyone would enjoy the droll, surly back and forth dialogue between these two curmudgeons, but I found it strangely comforting.
There are elements of Sideways and Breakfast At Tiffany's (and other Blake Edwards/Billy Wilder, witty banter type movies) in this film.
Strangest sex scene ever... not "no", I'm just a very negative person! Ha!
The main reason I loved this was the idea of involuntarily falling in love. As in, it makes no sense, but it just f'n happened. This rings true for me, and I'm the only one I can speak for. It's just perfect.
I should mention, in all fairness, that I related to Keanu's character. In fact, most people that know me would say that he was a somewhat exaggerated version of myself. Regardless, I loved every minute!
Since this film is somewhat polarizing, I'll say this: I understand completely why the average person didn't get into it. But I'll be rewatching at some point. Doesn't make me right, I just completely related to it and make no apologies. Oh, and the running time just flew by, which is a rarity for me.
Bodies, Rest & Motion (1993)
Smokin' cigarettes and watching...
I'd imagine the average person would find this quite dull and pointless. Possibly even pretentious and unrealistic. Others will revel in the intimate, stage-like, indie, slice-of-life, raw, gutty aspects of the film. I found it utterly engaging and nostalgic until the final act.
The illusion starting falling apart for me near the end. I was a teenager at this time, so don't get me wrong - people were different in the 90s. Conversations happened. Randomly. People connected in real life over books, music etc and even had relationships based on those encounters! Shocking, I know! But aspects of this film felt forced and unrealistic.
The world's changed and it's good to remember a time when genuine connections randomly happened, but I don't know if this film earnestly encapsulates that time. I enjoyed it overall and it's almost theruptic to open up the time capsule once in a while. Great cast, unique locations, not the deepest story, but these indie dramas from the 90s are nostalgic for me, so I'll give a moderate thumbs up for the performances, settings and independent look and feel of this film.
Niagara, Niagara (1997)
Roadtrip through a lonesome, crowded world
Back in 97, this played at a little theater at St Anthony Main in Mpls. I saw it with a girl I was very much into, but can't remember what I thought of the film. I just remember the girl, who was very sweet with one of the prettiest faces I've ever seen. Modest Mouse was the soundtrack of our Spring that year, which kinda fits the mood of this story.
Upon rewatching, it was hard to not think of this as a more realistic version of Mad Love. That being said, this one is a sad, raw and beautiful movie. Sometimes funny, sometimes frustrating, somewhat dreary (or at least moody) and definitely touching.
Overall, it's a well done indie film with excellent performances that I'm glad I revisited.
Dirty Girl (2010)
I'm a sucker for white trash road trip movies 🤷♂️
There's much to like here, imo. In fact, it won me over in the end despite some irregularities and overall irritating factors. I think it was mainly the ending that clinched it, but I guess I pretty much enjoyed the whole ride. The lead duo rightfully steal the show and are undeniably cute as an ersatz couple on the run. Juno is awesome in this!
The flaws have been covered in other reviews, so I won't dwell long on them. But Having Le Tigré (a 90s band) in the soundtrack was not a big deal to me. Nor was the Charlie's Angels hairdos (having grown up in the 80s, the 70s influence was still alive and well!). Small quibble: didn't love the flour bag schtick. I got the narrative device, and it totally fit the theme, but the expression changes were a bit too...cutesy. Borderline cringey, imo... Also didn't really dig Dwight Yoakam or his character. Seemed like a simply drawn up character, so perhaps the fault goes to the screenwriter.
Anyway, tho i didn't find it to be a modern day classic, I enjoyed it overall. And while the film itself might start to dissolve in my mind by tomorrow, I think the relationship of the two main characters will stick around for a bit.
Love and a .45 (1994)
Chicken-fried white trash schlock...
...that was no doubt made by people raised on Dukes of Hazzard and exploitation films. Sound good? Yeah, I thought so too. Sadly, It's pretty damn lousy. Just simply way too over the top to be relatable and not clever enough to be enjoyable. The 90s were filled with these trailer trash, lovers-on-the-run type road movies and you can do a lot better - Wild at Heart, Kalifornia, U-turn, True Romance, Doom Generation etc etc... and this one wants to be the indie Natural Born Killers sooo badly! But the script is mediocre, at best.
The main cast is pretty good for a low budget movie and that roped me in, along with a stellar soundtrack and I thought the overall premise had potential. But it's all too cartoony and amateurish, which possibly could've worked with more style and substance. It'd make a decent background movie for hitting the bong and having a couple drinks, tho!
For the cast, soundtrack and the 90s nostalgia, I'll go as high as a 4 out of 10. There are a couple of pretty well done scenes, but overall this leaves much to be desired.
Forces of Nature (1999)
Weather rapport
I saw this back in the day, soon after it came out. Pretty sure I only half-heartedly watched it, but seem to recall enjoying it enough overall. Well, 20 some yrs later, I rewatched on a whim and, ya know what? It's pretty damn good for what it's trying to be. It's stylish, funny, charming and adventurous with some truly unique and kitchy settings (kudos to the location scouts).
Some people hate the ending and idk what to say about it, but it seemed more true to real life. And maybe that's why it doesn't seem right for a movie that stays consistently one step out of reality and maintains a delightfully over the top schtick? Either way, it didn't bother me. I just went along for the ride and was taken on a stylish adventure. As far as I'm concerned, It all worked and I'm now nostalgic for these type of rom-coms that were all too common in the 90s/00s. Just suspend your disbelief and maybe you'll be charmed by this silly movie like I was - it's fun and it's not trying to be super deep or even super romantic.
Joshy (2016)
...
This is not a very engaging film and, unfortunately, it's not funny (despite a stellar cast). You've seen this kinda flick many times, and while I think these enable cast comedy/dramas are still worth making, this one just simply doesn't go anywhere interesting. All would be forgiven if there were some actual comedy!
You can do better than this dull, aimless, unfunny, yet admittedly well-cast dramedy... most of the actors (and even the director) have done much better films and shows, so look those up and save yourself the aggravation!
3 stars for the locations and the cast (but not the exceptionally uninspired performance by the guy who played Adam).
The Monster (2016)
Wow A24...
Someone in a rubber godzilla costume wreaks havoc on a white trash mom and her daughter. A tow truck guy guy and an ambulance show up to add to the obligatory body count, but help isn't needed because aquanet and girl power were there all along! Oh and Lifetime movies intermittently added some tear-jerking flashbacks between the daughter and her trailer trash mom. Soooo...like it's super deep and stuff.
This is a sparse, low budget, dark (literally) movie that got enough of the A24 cult on its side to avoid seriously bad reviews. But make no mistake, it's pretty lousy. At best it's entirely forgettable.
Hellraiser (2022)
Welcome To Pleasuredome
If you're a big Hellraiser fan, as I am, you've seen em all and have suffered after the first two. There are aspects of others (pt3 for instance) that gave you hope but there's been so much disappointment over the years. Keeping all that in mind, this one should definitely reinvigorate your interest! There's plenty to quibble over, no doubt, but this is a step in the right direction. It's atmospheric with a succinct plot, interesting settings and an unrelenting creepiness. Doug Bradley will always be Pinhead to me, and while the new Priest did not command as much screen presence, the cenobytes were awesome. In short, def see this if you're into the original Hellraiser. And I'd also assume this'll create a new breed of fans. Hopefully.