PROFESSOR X

Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) is a devoted scientist, working on 'teleportation-pods'. When he brings journalist Veronica (Geena Davis) home to his warehouse lab, he successfully teleports a babboon - after a few adjustments anyway . . . he turned the other one inside out. Next up is he himself; but a fly manages to get in with him and their genes are spliced together. CUE teeth-falling-out, extreme fitness and disgraceful manners. Cronenberg has never been better; balancing horrific gore with offbeat humour and a romantic streak that lets us sympathize with the two leads. Along with its thoughtful, pessimistic finale, ending on a somber note; it is perhaps a useful lesson in our present meddlings with genetic-nature.

Baron of Ballistic John Woo yet again serves up an actioner with a brain. Ultra-cool Inspector 'Tequilia' Yeun (the ever-brilliant Chow Yun-Fat) is the head of a massive gun-running investigation. However, when his partner is murdered by the dealers in the opening-shootout, he swears vengence. After a spectacular single-handed gun-battle, Yeun is forced to team up with assassin Tony (Tony Leung), who is working for evil Mastermind Johnny Wong (Anthony Wong). And that's it. A simple plot obviously proves to be a bombastic experience. Yun-Fat and Leung are sensational as the hero-duo, while Tereasa Mo & Phillip Chan provide good supporting characters as Yeun's mates at the station. The action scenes are breath-taking, while the finale in a hospital can not be put into words . . . it's that good! If you have never seen a John Woo, then this is a brilliant film to start with and you'll be hooked in no time! It's the most rockrolling, heart-grabbing, gun-toting 122 minutes of your life! Forget 'Face-Off', this is what John Woo is made of!

Richard Richard & Edward Elizabeth Hitler (Rik Mayall & Ade Edmondson) find themselves stranded on a desert-island, after stowing away upon a ferry to escape the ol'bill. However, things are slightly marred by the fact that they hate each other and that there's a nuclear bomb to keep them company. And as this 'Bottom', they will fight, squabble, kick and fart through the funniest 90 minutes of your life. And that's official. The two stars work their socks off to produce a rib-tickling, side-splitting, groin-clutching play, that happens to be their third stage performance of these characters. If you've ever watched the BBC TV sitcom, set in a muck-ridden flat, then you'll know what's coming - swearing, fighting, farting, more knob-gags than a Carry on. But, if you haven't then this an absolute must! Although more sensitive viewers beware: They is extreme swearing and agonising violence. But it's all in a good nature . . .