Straight off the bat I must confess to only watching the first 52 minutes of this movie before I had to relieve the agony by sticking red-hot needles in my eyes. This movie is both puzzling and depressing in equal measure. Why do Messrs. Rimawi and Latt appear in the opening credits, yet there is no mention of The Asylum? Why does Linda Hamilton appear? (I'm assuming that post-divorce from James Cameron she doesn't need the money). Why has she lost all acting ability? She's the same age as me, so why does she now look about 103? (Sorry Linda, but it's the truth). Why didn't the producers spend the money on a well-scripted and acted story rather than blow it on 3rd rate CGI and dodgy sets? I don't know the answer to any of these, but I do know that I found the experience of watching this movie to be quite saddening. Apart from the disappointment of seeing one of your cinema heroines being reduced to this dross, the very fact that films as bad as this continue to see the light of day engenders a sense of ennui akin to that felt when contemplating the end of mankind.
This movie's plot and the quality (or otherwise) of the lighting, music etc. are irrelevant in this case. The overall sense of crapness drowns out any potentially less than awful aspect of the film. Go and watch some paint dry, or some grass grow, or just gouge your eyes out - any of these are preferable to watching Bermuda Tentacles.
