Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Extras (2013)

Wendie Malick: Victoria Chase

Quotes 

• Victoria Chase : You fake porned him?

  Melanie Moretti : I fake porned him.

  Joy Scroggs : Why?

  Melanie Moretti : I-I panicked. Emmet said men like enthusiasm, so I went a little overboard. I mean, I was like someone reviewing their own business on Yelp.

  Victoria Chase : You set the sex bar way too high.

  Melanie Moretti : I know! And now he's going to expect fake porn Melanie every time; I'm going to be so busy putting on a show that I won't be able to relax and enjoy it.

  Joy Scroggs : And you can't go back; it's like tipping. Once you go thirty percent you can't go back to twenty. You have to fake your own death and find a new manicurist.

• [first lines] 

  Joy Scroggs : Say 'Nana'. Say 'Nana', Wilbur, 'Nana'.

  Elka Ostrovsky : It's official. Men of *all* ages ignore you.

  Joy Scroggs : Look, some of the other babies in Wilbur's play group have already started talking. Actually, I was getting a little embarrassed so I knocked a few months off his age.

  Mamie-Sue Johnson : You lied about a baby's age?

  Victoria Chase : Ah, I wish my mother had done that for me. But, no... I'm a self-made thirty-something.

• [last lines] 

  Joy Scroggs : Wilbur, Nana's home. Were you a good boy for Elka and Mamie-Sue?

  Mamie-Sue Johnson : Oh, yes; we read Baby Shakespeare, listened to Baby Beethoven. I think both of them did better work as adults.

  Joy Scroggs : Wilbur, darling, say 'Nana'. Na-na.

  Baby Wilbur : Nana.

  Joy Scroggs : Did you hear that? Wilbur just said his first word. And it was Nana.

  Mamie-Sue Johnson : Well, actually his first word wa...

  Elka Ostrovsky : Zip it.

  Victoria Chase : I'm on a film mission. Now, have him do a second take.

  Joy Scroggs : Wilbur, say it again. Say 'Nana'.

  Baby Wilbur : TV.

  Melanie Moretti : Did he just say 'TV'?

  Elka Ostrovsky : I heard 'Nana'.

  Baby Wilbur : TV.

  Elka Ostrovsky : That's from Baby Shakespeare. TV or not TV.

  Joy Scroggs : Owen and I made it very clear: no TV, no processed sugar, watch your language.

  Baby Wilbur : Crap!

  Elka Ostrovsky : That is us watching our language.

  Joy Scroggs : That's it; you two are off the baby-sitting list. You are never watching Wilbur again.

  Baby Wilbur : Bitch!

  Elka Ostrovsky : I got nothing.