Murder on the Emerald Seas (1974)
1/2 (out of 4)
A cop is trying to solve some bizarre murders and when he finally gets a lead it takes him to a cruise ship. This cruise ship is full of drag queens so the cop must go undercover in drag to find the killer.
Before landing an acting gig in the cult classic CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS, Alan Ormsby co-wrote and directed this horrible comedy that I'm guessing was trying to become some cult film among the gay community. Wahtever it was trying to do it ultimately failed as there's really not too much going on here.
There's no question that the biggest problem with this film was the horrible screenplay. There are a lot of lame jokes throughout the picture but the most shocking thing is the fact that they try to play out this "mystery" when there's not a single interesting character and the situation itself is just plain stupid. None of the characters are entertaining and you certainly don't care about who the killer really is.
I'm really at a loss of words because this film is about as bad as it gets. As I said, the laughs were just horrid but I will say I laughed twice but that's not a good ratio. The performances are all rather silly but maybe they too didn't know what was going on. Ormsby would become a cult figure thanks to the Bob Clark film but there's just nothing here that shows he could direct and make a film entertaining.
