- [From Trailer]
- [about Laurel's appeal being turned down]
- Steven Goldstein: This is an outrageous miscarriage of justice. Their next meeting we show up with 100 protesters.
- Dane Wells: Radicals and strangers from New York aren't going to convince these guys.
- Steven Goldstein: I am not a radical. I am a middle-class, Jewish homosexual from New Jersey. How about you, sweetheart?
- Dane Wells: I'm a straight, white, ex-Protestant, atheist cop. You okay with that, *sweetheart*?
- Steven Goldstein: I am. That is very hot.
- Laurel Hester: When my heterosexual partners die. Their pension goes to their spouses. But because my partner is a woman, I don't get to do that. In my twenty three years of being a police officer, I've never asked for special treatment. I'm only asking for equality.
- Steven Goldstein: Steven, with a V, that means "Very Gay". And when people disrespect my gay brothers and sisters, I rain terror on them! Shock and awe, shock and awe.
- [From Trailer]
- [about Laurel's upcoming appeal]
- Toohey: If they say yes my tax dollars go to her girlfriend.
- Dane Wells: Yeah. The same way your wife gets your pension if *you* die!
- Toohey: Yeah, but she's my *wife*.
- [From Trailer]
- Steven Goldstein: Hell! If you and I got married tomorrow, *I'd* be entitled to your benefits.
- Laurel Hester: Wait, is that a proposal?
- Dane Wells: Oh my god!
- Dane Wells: [to his police team] Who's coming to the meeting?
- [no one responds]
- Dane Wells: [angrily] Oh, don't put yourselves out. Laurel would back any of you up in a heartbeat. And she's dying! But hey, you know, she's a dyke, so who gives a shit? Cowards!
- Steven Goldstein: Hell! If you and I got married tomorrow, I'd be entitled to your benefits!
- Laurel Hester: Wait, is that a proposal?
- Steven Goldstein: Oh honey. I would marry you, but I wouldn't know what to do with your vagina.