Going Postal (2010)
Charles Dance: Lord Vetinari
Photos
Quotes
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Lord Vetinari : Mr. Lipwig, you have had a most strenuous day, have you not?
Moist Von Lipwig : Can't be as strenuous as signing death warrants.
[Moist laughs and Lord Vetinari gives him a long stare]
Moist Von Lipwig : [stops laughing] Joke.
Lord Vetinari : Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't realized.
[Lord Vetinari chuckles briefly]
Lord Vetinari : Do tell me if you feel obliged to make another.
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Lord Vetinari : Well, you've made quite a splash. As the fish said to the man with the lead weight tied to his feet.
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Lord Vetinari : I brought you here because I want to talk to you about angels.
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Ridcully : [entering Lord Vetinari's office] This had better be important. I'm in the middle of an experiment.
Lord Vetinari : Involving a knife and fork, no doubt.
Ridcully : [sighing] I don't expect a layman to understand the pressures of university life.
Lord Vetinari : Incredible though it may seem, we've found a practical use for one of your magical devices.
Ridcully : Have you?
Lord Vetinari : The object in question is, um...
[Lord Vetinari looks at Drumknott]
Drumknott : An omniscope, my lord.
Lord Vetinari : Enabling us to see things at a distance, I believe.
Ridcully : The omniscope is a highly complex, very unstable piece of equipment.
Lord Vetinari : You mean it doesn't work?
Ridcully : Well...
[stammering]
Ridcully : Relatively speaking, it works.
Lord Vetinari : Excellent. Kindly have it up and running by dawn tomorrow.
Ridcully : Now listen, magic is not some kind of workman's tool that you can hire out by the hour.
Lord Vetinari : Just as well, because I wasn't intending to pay you.
[Drumknott smirks]
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Ridcully : Now, listen, magic is not some workman's tool that you can hire out by the hour.
Lord Vetinari : Just as well, because I wasn't intending to pay you.
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Moist Von Lipwig : [chokes on water]
Lord Vetinari : Little sips.
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Moist Von Lipwig : Seems a little harsh?
Lord Vetinari : But fair!
