- Workman: How did you manage to stay alive inside that crusher? It develops a hundred thousand pounds of pressure.
- Batman: Fortunately, we were able to reach our utility belts, where we always keep our emergency Bat-airpumps to pump up the Batmobiles tires.
- Workman: You mean you countered the hydraulic crusher with air pressure?
- Batman: As the crusher increased it's pressure, it automatically increased the counter-air pressure.
- News anchor: [voice coming from TV set] This is the third day that Penguin and his henchmen have been hold up inside the sub-treasury vault. Commissioner Gordon and...
- [rest is drowned out by Aunt Harriet]
- Mrs. Cooper: Three days, Alfred, imagine that! What can they be doing inside there?
- Alfred: I imagine that our law enforcement agencies are asking the same question, madam.
- Chief O'Hara: [cut to the sub-treasury vault] What could that mangy creature be doing in there?
- Batman: I wish I knew, Chief.
- Commissioner Gordon: And what's he doing for food?
- Batman: I wish I knew, Commissioner.
- Robin: And what's he...
- Batman: [interrupting] I wish I knew, Robin.
- The Penguin: [Aunt Hilda is firing the cannon on Penguin's solid gold tank] Stop her! Those shells are solid gold. Every time she fires that cannon, it costs $50,000 dollars!
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: Oh, let her have some fun, Pengy. After all, you're a millionaire now.
- The Penguin: Even a millionaire blinks at $50,000 dollars!
- Batman: [referring to Chief O'Hara] He's blocked the tank!
- Robin: But he'll be crushed like a walnut!
- Commissioner Gordon: The brave fool!
- Aunt Hilda: This is the best batch of toad stew I've ever made.
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: Somehow I don't think the men are too enthusiastic about your cooking, darling.
- Aunt Hilda: I don't see why not. Do you know how much vitamin B there is in the average toad?
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: No.
- Aunt Hilda: Just twice the daily minimum requirement.
- The Penguin: Well, what's for dinner tonight? I'm starved.
- [looks in the stew pot]
- The Penguin: Not again. Can't you cook anything else?
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: Do you have any idea how much vitamin B there is in the average toad, darling?
- Henchman #1: Oh, you'll never crack that safe, Batman.
- Robin: [cuffing him] Put your hands in these and cut the comments.
- [Batman unlocks the safe]
- Henchman #1: You did it!
- Batman: It's not difficult if you have steady nerves and a good ear - qualities destroyed by the tenor of criminal life.
- Henchman #1: Oh, the laughs on you, Batman. That's nothin' compared to the haul he's gettin' now.
- Batman: What's that?
- Henchman #1: Well, he - Oh, no you don't, Batman. I might steal, but I don't squeal. And like the Penguin says, after this caper, Gotham City is gonna be in the soup!
- Batman: Thank you. You just told me where Penguin is.
- Henchman #1: What?
- Batman: Clip his cuffs to the safe, Robin, while we make a fast trip.
- The Penguin: [Aunt Hilda is playing a snake-charming flute] We can stay in here was long as we want. Only thing is, if I keep having to listen to that, I'll go straight. Can't you make her stop?
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: Aunt Hilda gets nervous in closed rooms, darling. This keeps her occupied.
- The Penguin: Not worth the price.
- [to Aunt Hilda]
- The Penguin: Why don't you try biting your nails?
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: You know, darling, it really is a shame. You and I could have made a marvelous career in movies.
- Batman: I'm afraid your movie career will be interrupted for quite a while, Marsha.
- The Penguin: It's a lowdown, underhanded trick! Faugh! I'm foiled again! It's exasperating!
- Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: Oh, be a good loser, darling.
- Robin: A page from your own book, huh, Penguin?
- The Penguin: [to Aunt Hilda] It's your fault wasting those golden shells!
- Aunt Hilda: Be quiet, deary, or I'll turn you into a toad. Should I, Batman?
- Batman: Thank you, we have other plans for Penguin.