- 2000 Year Old Man: [Referring to his book] It was a bestseller!
- Interviewer: How many copies did it sell?
- 2000 Year Old Man: Three.
- 2000 Year Old Man: Paul Revere was anti-semitic! Yelling all through the night, the Yiddish are coming the Yiddish are coming!
- Interviewer: He was saying the British were coming
- 2000 Year Old Man: Oh.