Van Wilder (2002)
Tara Reid: Gwen Pearson
Photos
Quotes
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Van Wilder : Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not suppossed to be.
Gwen : And how many times has your heart led you into the women's locker room?
Van Wilder : This would be a first.
Gwen : Why do I find that hard to believe?
Van Wilder : I'm not saying this is the first time I've been in here, just usually it is another part of my anatomy that does the leading.
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Van Wilder : It's a date.
Gwen : It's an interview, not a date.
Van Wilder : Gwen, first dates are interviews.
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Van Wilder : [speaking about Gwen's boyfriend Richard] I'll bet he's a tighty whitey guy.
Gwen : Excuse me?
Van Wilder : White, elastic band, constricting. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear. Like you - granny panties I bet.
Gwen : Does that allude to me being the plain, boring type?
Van Wilder : Mmmm, no.
Van Wilder : [sighs]
Van Wilder : I just wanted the visual.
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Gwen : [Mouths] What are you doing here?
Van Wilder : [Mouths] I don't know!
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Gwen : I'm doing a human interest piece... on you.
Van Wilder : I'm flattered, I'd love for your piece to be on me.
[looks up at the ceiling and sighs]
Van Wilder : ... But sadly I don't do interviews, never have, never will. Do lunch though.
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Gwen : Well I think it takes a lot more then the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person.
[Van looks shocked]
Van Wilder : Like what?
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Van Wilder : Well just take a look at this... ya... doodles... I attended class today just about stayed the whole time too!
Gwen : I'm glad you went to all your classes today.
Van Wilder : And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed.
Gwen : That's great!
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Gwen : Is it true this is your seventh year at Coolidge?
Van Wilder : Carry the two, yes that's correct.
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Richard : Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now!
[grunts and giggles]
Gwen : Are you okay?
Richard : Yeah. Why? Well, didn't you?
Gwen : Well, it's kind of hard in 15 seconds.
Richard : Damn it, Gwen! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams.
Gwen : I'm sorry.
Richard : Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine in the next 10 years of our lives together. Do you realize that?
Gwen : You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.
Richard : [laughs] What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group.
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Van Wilder : Blue - it brings out your eyes. The kid has killer eyes, not unlike yourself - anyone ever tell you that?
Gwen : Yes, my boyfriend.
Van Wilder : Your boyfriend? What's his name?
Gwen : I don't think that's any of your business.
Van Wilder : [Puts on sunglasses and turns away] You're right
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Sally : [straddling Van and kissing him, turns around and sees Gwen walk into Van's room] You must be Gwen, the truck driver
Van Wilder : Gwen?
[chases her outside]
Gwen : What were you doing up there?
Van Wilder : As smashed as I am, I'm pretty sure that was my room...
Van Wilder : [looking back]
Van Wilder : Wasn't it?
Gwen : What was that girl, a freshman?
Van Wilder : She reads at a sophomore level.
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Van Wilder : Take your clothes off.
Gwen : I'm not taking off my clothes.
Van Wilder : Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit.
[a hairy naked guy runs by]
Van Wilder : Except that guy.
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Gwen : Relax, guys. They're just Doritos.
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Gwen : [quietly to new pledges] Relax, guys, they're just Doritos.
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Gwen Pearson : [reading the title of a newspaper article] Light Beer Vs. Dark Beer- The Showdown by Darius Greyson. Is that the same...
Elliot Grebb : Nobel Prize winner Darius Greyson. He's an alumni of our journalism staff. He wrote his best stuff during Detox and still does. I have got a very challenging assignment for you, a story that no one has been able to get.
Gwen Pearson : About what?
Elliot Grebb : No, no. It's about whom.
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Elliot Grebb : Brilliant Pearson! I have been excited about how many people enjoy reading about this guy. They want more, and so do I. I want you to do a follow up.
Gwen Pearson : I did your story, Elliot, and I'm not doing another one.
Elliot Grebb : Even if I tell you it's going to be on the front page of the Graduation Issue in two months?