- Gina Garrett: So when are we inviting them over for drinks?
- Chris Lecce: Uh, Bill.
- Bill Reimers: Yes, Chris?
- Chris Lecce: Did I just hear you ask me to invite the neighbors over for drinks? The very people we are here to stake out?
- Bill Reimers: Why, no Chris, I'd never think of such a thing.
- Chris Lecce: Good to know Bill!
- [Chris and Bill have had enough of Gina]
- Detective Chris Lecce: Here is my badge, here is my gun, and here is me, *leaving*!
- [Chris Lecce is angry with Gina Garrett because of her interference in the stakeout]
- Chris Lecce: If this assignment gets blown, I want to go on record right now, that this is the most stupid, dimwitted, idiotic, moronic piece of putrefied garbage that I have ever in my entire professional career, ever had the displeasure of being involved with.
- [Gina Garrett asks Bill Reimers to shave his mustache to look younger]
- Bill Reimers: I don't think you understand the relationship a man has with his facial hair.
- Assistant D.A. Gina Garrett: I'll miss you guys, a little. I am going to sue for custody, though.
- Detective Chris Lecce: [Pointing to Bill] Of him? Take him, he irritates the hell out of me.
- [Maria and Chris are arguing, Maria meanwhile is holding a TV in her arms]
- Chris Lecce: Now, Maria let's go over something. I came home last night.
- Maria McGuire: [nods crazily]
- Chris Lecce: We had sex.
- Maria McGuire: [nods crazily]
- Chris Lecce: Then I woke up and went to work like I do every morning. Now did I forget something?
- Maria McGuire: [drops the TV causing it to smash]
- Chris Lecce: [looks down at the floor with an unbelievable expression on his face]
- Maria McGuire: I'm leaving. And when I come back, I want you gone.
- Chris Lecce: [to Maria who's running off] All right, all right! I'll marry you.
- Maria McGuire: [smiles wickedly and comes back to Chris and then plugs him in the stomach with her fist!] Life is just too short.
- Chris Lecce: [doubled over gives a weak cough]
- [Bill Reimers and Chris Lecce call to Archie (a dog) who is chasing a neighbour's cat - Archie takes no notice]
- Bill Reimers: Come back here!
- Chris Lecce: Oh stick 'em Archie. Eat the cat!
- Captain Coldshank: Your cover is you're renting the judge's house for a month of vacation.
- Chris Lecce: As what?... friends or lovers?
- Detective Bill Reimers: [On seeing their suspect] I think we should arrest him for what he's wearing!
- Detective Chris Lecce: I usually wait about three days before introducing myself to the people I'm staking out!
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