- Detective Wasserman: [draws his gun on Ralph] Drop those knives.
- Ralph: Knives? These are not knives, these are fine surgical instruments.
- Dr. Alex Karmen: [trying to hit Dr. Berrisford with his car] If you don't like the way I drive, Dr. Addictive Buttface, stay out of the parking lot!
- Dr. Alex Karmen: Mm, you know, I thought you might need some company tonight. It's safest here, really. The police are here, I'm here. We're going to have a nice, boring evening tonight. I even brought provisions: pure, unadulterated junk food. At this point who cares about chemicals?
- Harris: [while giving a TV interview] I could kill you right now, couldn't I?
- Reporter #1: You could.
- Harris: [laughs] But I won't.