Perfect Strangers (1986–1993)
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Photos
Quotes
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[Larry has rented Balki a tuxedo]
Balki Bartokomous : Yours?
Larry Appleton : Yes.
Balki Bartokomous : Yours... looks... just like mine.
Larry Appleton : Yes.
Balki Bartokomous : But if we dress alike, how will people tell us apart?
Larry Appleton : Dental records.
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[Larry is installing a shower head]
Balki Bartokomous : Where are the instructions?
Larry Appleton : I threw them out.
Balki Bartokomous : You threw them out?
Larry Appleton : Appletons have never used instructions. My dad completely rewired the house in Denver without instructions.
Balki Bartokomous : Isn't that the house that burned to the ground?
[Larry pauses for a second]
Larry Appleton : [sheepishly] They never proved it was the wiring.
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[Larry is hanging from a hook on the wall]
Balki Bartokomous : Cousin, do it for me, please?
Larry Appleton : No, no...
Balki Bartokomous : Oh, please. Please, Mr. Scarecrow, which way is it to the Emerald City?
Larry Appleton : Some people go that way, and some people go that way...
Balki Bartokomous : But, of course, people do go both ways.
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Larry Appleton : I didn't lie. At most, I massaged the truth a little.
Balki Bartokomous : Massaged? You gave it a full body scrub and a mud bath!
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Larry Appleton : Was it me, or did you see steam rising from his head?
Balki Bartokomous : Are you asking did - did I see *steam* rising from his head or did I see *you* rising from his head?
Larry Appleton : I'm asking, was it me, or did you see steam rising from his head?
Balki Bartokomous : Okay... Okay, are you asking was it *me* who saw steam rising from his head or was it *you* who saw steam rising from his head?
Larry Appleton : I'm asking, was it me, or did you see steam rising from his head?
Balki Bartokomous : [pause] Yes. Now, I have one for you - Was it me... or was that Miss Lydia's beauty mark sliding down her cheek?
Larry Appleton : It was you. It was definitely you sliding down her cheek.
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Larry Appleton : Our goal for this evening is to acheive physical contact. Now how do we acheive physical contact?
Balki Bartokomous : Begging?
Larry Appleton : Dancing.
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Larry Appleton : Take three steps east, please be meticulous.
Balki Bartokomous : Well of course we will, don't be ridiculous.
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Larry Appleton : Oh, my lord...
Mr. Wainwright : Appleton, you idiot!
Larry Appleton : I just shot my boss in the butt.
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Balki Bartokomous : Hi, cousin! I just baked a big batch of bing bong binki binki bakalava.
Larry Appleton : ...Bing bong binki binki bakalava?
Balki Bartokomous : Bingo! Want a big bite, booby?
Larry Appleton : Better not, buddy.
Balki Bartokomous : ...bummer.
Larry Appleton : Bitter, Balki?
Balki Bartokomous : You bet your Bibby Babkas I'm bitter, baby! I busted my butt baking these itty bitty binkis, and believe me, I banked on a bit of basic brotherly bolstering!
Larry Appleton : Balki, buddy, baby!
