Andrew Ray credited as playing...
Willy
- Train Guard: Oh, it's you lot.
- Grib: Is this train on time today ?
- Train Guard: Four minutes late.
- Willy: I appreciate that you will soon be redundant, but speaking as a shareholder, don't you think it is incumbent upon you to make our trains run on time.
- Train Guard: One of these days I'll find out exactly what you get up to on this train, then watch out !
- Grib: Okay.
- David: Grocs ?
- Tinker: Grockles, holidaymakers. Most holidaymakers are grockles., but the real ones you can spot a mile off. Usually they wear shorts, woollen socks and thick black leather shoes, with their shirts undone all the way down the front so you can see the full extent of their manly chests.
- Willy: Or he wears a white open-neck shirt, wide braces and 24 inch grey flannel trousers.
- Tinker: They arrive in Grockle wagons.
- Sneakers: Shower bangs.
- Tinker: Eat Grockle food.
- Willy: That's anything, as long as it's with chips.
- Tinker: Is never seen without his Grockle box.
- Sammy: 30 bob camera.
- Willy: In simulated leather case.
- Tinker: And invariably carries his Grockle comforter.
- Sammy: Transistor radio.
- Tinker: And spends most of his days in Grockle traps.
- Sneakers: Gift shops.
- Tinker: The Grockle is closely related to the Troglodyte. The Troglodytes lived in a natural cave, stoned their grandparents to death and came out three times a year for food. The Grockle puts his grandparents in an old folks home, lives in a pre-cast concrete cave and comes out once a year to make a religious pilgrimage to the sea from whence he came. There he ceremoniously rolls up his trousers and dips his feet in the water.