- Janice Courtney: I'm sorry, Jim, but scheming two-headed sex-pots make great parts for an actress, and no one is gonna talk me out of playing it. I've worked too hard and too long to wind up my career as chief cook and bottle washer in Connecticut.
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Well, I guess that about covers it.
- Janice Courtney: You know, children, you have to understand that sometimes, even when people love each other, they make mistakes. And I love you.
- Kinsley Kross: Well, I realize this is pretty heady stuff for a man of the cloth, reverend. But there are other days in the week beside Sunday.
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Trash is trash any day of the week, Mr. Kross.
- Kinsley Kross: Well, let me put it into simple language. A civilized woman rebels against the dichotomy of modern society, and seeks her euphoria in.. depravity.
- Marty Bliss: Why, it'll make a bombshell at the box office
- Ethel: That explains everything.
- Selena Johnson: It's very important for a budding young actress like Ava to study fine acting.
- Ethel: On television?
- Marty Bliss: [Carrying Jan's large birdbath pedestal] I'd like to meet the idiot that buys this thing.
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Oh, well, uh, we'll find a sucker.
- Ethel: I don't think he likes caviar.
- Marty Bliss: [Trying to feed Sherman a cracker with caviar on it] At eleven bucks an ounce, he likes it. Don't ya?
- Sherman Smith: Uh, uh.
- [Marty slips the cracker into his mouth as he speaks, and everyone laughs]
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Jan, you're an intelligent woman. But I don't know what kind of intelligence it is that makes you wanna play the role of a .. a scheming two-headed sex-pot. If this is an example of, uh, modern theater, I don't think you oughta be part of it.
- Kinsley Kross: This play breaks with the past, transcending also the trending modern postures which I find equally irrelevant in their persistent search for universal verities. It, uh, springs from a personal ethos that I call generative nihilisms. Do you agree, darling?
- Janice Courtney: Oh, yes, of course I do. Um, how do you feel about it, Ethel?
- Ethel: He lost me at lunch, right after he said, "Pass me the potato salad."
- Kinsley Kross: Where's your flaming star going - for a cooling walk in the rain?
- Marty Bliss: Uh, let me put it to ya this way, Kinsley. She's escaping from the dichotomy of modern living and she's going to seek her euphoria in Connecticut.
- Janice Courtney: I ran out on you too. Will you forgive me?
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Forgiveness is part of my job.
- Janice Courtney: I stopped thinking of you as a minister a long time ago.
- Ethel: Selena, if you have a menu for dinner tonight, I'd like to look it over later.
- Selena Johnson: Today is Tuesday.
- Ethel: What's wrong with Tuesday?
- Selena Johnson: Tuesday is Ava's night at elocution. We'll be dining out.
- Marty Bliss: Now, she's got enough on her mind without you calling every time some uncoordinated thumb-sucker spills pablum on his bib.
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Look, P.T. Barnum, you stay out of this.
- Kinsley Kross: And under my brilliant tutelage, every good, healthy, schizophrenic impulse within you will surge to the surface.
- Kinsley Kross: I see you've been reading my play.
- Reverend Jim Larkin: That's right.
- Kinsley Kross: Well?
- Reverend Jim Larkin: Well, I've always had a grudging respect for your work, Mr. Kross. Even though it's offended some people, it's always had a certain honesty. I wish I could say the same for this.
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