The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)
Alfie Bass: Shorty
Photos
Quotes
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Pendlebury : [replying to Shorty's statement that he and Lackery will wait for Holland and Pendlebury to return from France with their shares of the proceeds] You mean you both trust us?
Shorty : Oh, come off it, gov. You're as straight a pair of gentlemen as I ever worked for.
Lackery : Hear hear!
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[Holland enters the yard and sees Lackery wobble past on a bicycle]
Henry Holland : You're teaching the wrong man!
Pendlebury : Well, I had to change him over. Shorty can't ride a bicycle.
[Lackery falls]
Henry Holland : Doesn't look as if he can either.
Shorty : We're learning him.
Henry Holland : Why couldn't you learn Shorty?
Pendlebury : Because Lackery's color-blind.
Henry Holland : What's that got to do with it?
Pendlebury : Oh my dear Holland, do use your intelligence! If a policeman were to come along and see a green sunset over a purple sea...
Henry Holland : All right, all right, spare me the details.
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Shorty : Okay, you're the boss.
Henry Holland : Yes. Yes, that's right - I am.
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Pendlebury : Now it's all over, I suppose I may dare say it's been a most remarkable coup.
Shorty : The biggest job of its kind since One-Eyed Dobson got away with the GIs' pay packets. Two million dollars, Grosvenor Square, 'forty-five.
Henry Holland : That was before devaluation. And this is one million pounds.
Shorty : Oh, that's right. Blimey. We've got the record!
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Shorty : I didn't like to say so, but I don't really fancy going to Paris meself.
Henry Holland : Why?
Shorty : Well a friend of mine, he pinched a couple of tickets for the Test Match, see? I wouldn't half like to see that.
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Lackery : Bellamy's? In Bromley?
Shorty : That's right. Last June. Twelver.
Lackery : I was casing that joint the night you got pinched.
Shorty : Well, what do you know? Shorty Fisher.
Lackery : Nice to meet you.
Pendlebury : Excuse me, I may be a bit slow but do I understand that in fact, you two are both professional criminals?
Shorty : Well, what else do you take us for, rutty snoopers?
Lackery : What's the setup?