- AP reporter: [to Joe] Remember, in the future, when a reporter comes in and asks you for an interview - don't talk so much!
- Joe Bascom: Couldn't Jones make it?
- Harry Lambert: Oh, sure, but he'd still be a smith.
- Joe Bascom: How can a Jones be a Smith?
- Ed Mason: Keep your eyes open for a pudgy little guy who looks as if he's always apologizing for something. Dark complexion about 5 feet 5 and fat.
- Policeman at Ticket Seller's Booth: That description fits many men. But even if I do see him how would I know him?
- Tim Williams: Well that's our trouble we don't know him either.
- Policeman at Ticket Seller's Booth: Then how you know he's down here?
- Ed Mason: We traced him from El Paso. He won a dance marathon contest there and used the prize money to get down here. He dance the Samba for 68 hours strait and we understand he's still a little goofy from it too.
- Harry Lambert: [Seeing Joe's initials on his handkerchief] Hey look at here? J.B. Did you see fish spelled with a B?
- Joe Bascom: Barracuda.
- Harry Lambert: Just a minute my good man. You've made a terrible mistake there's something wrong here I happen to know Mister. Uhh?
- Joe Bascom: Fish!
- Harry Lambert: Uhh Mr. Fish for quite a number of years. Why I'd rather call myself a crook.
- Joe Bascom: And so would I.
- Harry Lambert: You keep out of this.
- Tim Williams: That's a lot of malarkey Mr. Winthrop. This guy adds up to Joe Bascom. And Joe Bascom is short and dumpy.
- Joe Bascom: Like you?
- Tim Williams: Like me. And he's got a Rollie Pollie face.
- Joe Bascom: Like you?
- Tim Williams: Like me. And he's got short fat stumpy legs.
- Joe Bascom: Like you?
- Tim Williams: Yeah! Like me!