This popped up on in my suggested movies feed and I immediately dismissed it as direct-to-video trash. But upon further inspection, it has real actors in it...surely it can't be that bad. Bai Ling, Sylvester McCoy, Tom Sizemore...actual actors! Maybe this is a diamond in the rough? Yeah, nope.
It opens with a monologue that makes Ben Stein's voice seem enthusiastic and emotive. The rambling dialog is over what appears to be a video made in a video game engine--mostly an inexplicable car chase that makes the Fast & Furious franchise seem tame. Oh...and a random helicopter shooting into traffic. Who knows at this point? There are some "hell" scenes that look like they're pulled from Doom. That's kind of neat.
Somehow it tries to tie Lovecraft and Alistair Crowley together in some nonsensical plot about the creation of the Necronomicon. Any video not pulled from a game engine is wildly overexposed and accompanied by dialog more painful than the droning "music," if you can call it that.
It's only redeeming quality is that it's about 75 minutes long. Honestly, I'd rather have a root canal than watch this again.
It opens with a monologue that makes Ben Stein's voice seem enthusiastic and emotive. The rambling dialog is over what appears to be a video made in a video game engine--mostly an inexplicable car chase that makes the Fast & Furious franchise seem tame. Oh...and a random helicopter shooting into traffic. Who knows at this point? There are some "hell" scenes that look like they're pulled from Doom. That's kind of neat.
Somehow it tries to tie Lovecraft and Alistair Crowley together in some nonsensical plot about the creation of the Necronomicon. Any video not pulled from a game engine is wildly overexposed and accompanied by dialog more painful than the droning "music," if you can call it that.
It's only redeeming quality is that it's about 75 minutes long. Honestly, I'd rather have a root canal than watch this again.