Entering the third decade of my life has given me new cause to reflect and ponder on my journey in life thus far.
Unlike most of my peers who took the earliest route to a family and a career, I chose to delay such delights in pursuit of further academic goals. I was eager to see a different side of the world, and I chose Lubbock, Texas to be the site for my postgraduate pursuits.
In my seven years of living, teaching, studying and researching here in Lubbock, I have had my ups and downs. Thankfully, there were more ups than downs.
I came to Lubbock in my early mid-20s, eager to experience the American environment, and I recall that my first year and a half as a Master’s student were not anything to hype about. My social circle was terribly small. I made only a handful of friends, and not having a personal vehicle meant that I kept myself to within my university campus, South Plains Mall, Wal-Mart or relying on others to take me to places.
My aim then was simple: to get my Master’s degree and look for Ph.D. opportunities elsewhere.
“Elsewhere” did not work the way I anticipated, and I returned to Lubbock to pursue my doctorate. While this decision was not without its share of problems, my five years living here as a doctoral student are filled with memorable moments and wonderful company.
I am extremely grateful and touched by the sheer kindness and generosity that people, especially my friends, have shown to me over the years. The experience was not only humbling, but to an extent embarrassing that I was not as kind, as generous and as charitable. Being kind, generous and charitable does not necessarily involve money, and selflessness in the form of simple gestures goes an extremely long way: friends who woke up early in the morning just to pick me up and drive me to the airport so that I did not have to charter a taxi; friend who woke up from bed after I called him on a little kitty misadventure and brought lots of supplies to make sure I have all that I need to manage the situation; friends who made me a priority and sacrificed time, energy and money to honour that priority; friends who make amazing gifters despite the circumstances; friends who welcome me into their homes, their families and treat me as one of them so openly and so readily; friends who see me as one of them and would be just as sad as I am if I have to leave the United States.
“I cannot believe that you are not at least a permanent resident here. I know you speak with an accent, but I have always thought of you as one of us.”
“It sank in me last night, after you told me that you might have to return home, that I may not see you again for a very long time. It was a difficult moment for me.”
“You mix around the locals so much and so well that you have become part of the community, and the idea that you will leave because you cannot get a job here…”
“What?! You cannot stay if you do not have a job in the States? Well, I am going to call this guy and see if I can help you so that you can get a job and stay! We shouldn’t lose people like you!”
These words, or some form of them, uttered to me and the tears that fell will make the potential parting all the more difficult to me, but at the same time very comforting and heartwarming that I meant something to the people around me. Moreover, they saw and accepted me for who I am, and not where I am from or whether I am a foreign national. If my imminent departure is inevitable, I shall take these words to heart and remember them with much fondness.
The academic journey as a doctoral student is nothing to brag about or to discuss. While academic experience differs between students, the academic journey is not necessarily the memorable component of my life in the United States. The irrefutable fact is that this academic journey has placed all the kind, generous and charitable people in my life, therefore I feel that I have been very fortunate and blessed.
My pursuit of a doctorate has come to an end, and while I can hold my head up high at my achievements, those are no substitutes for the blessings that I have received. A chapter of my life will close to allow a new chapter to open. I hope that I can pay it forward by emulating the kindness and generosity that my friends have lavished upon me, no matter where I go or where I am.
So, to my Lubbock friends who stood by me, laughed with me, grieved with me and came to me when I needed them, I shall miss you very much, and you have my utmost gratitude for being the great friends that you are. What I will say if and when we part ways is that, to quote my international student counselor, “This is not a goodbye, but a see-you-again-later.”
Henry Yew 