will not marry

you will never understand 

WHY

I will not get marry

你永远不会明白，为什么我

不结婚

it's end

So without any discussion,
without any inform...
our ambiguous relationship comes to the end...

it's change within 2 and a half day..
which is sudden.. i got no notice at all

v no more holding hands,
no more kissing,
no more texting like last time..
words from ur mouth different..

i can feel u still care abit bout me..
but u try so hard to hold urself back

so is tis wat both of us wan ?
or is tis wat u wan ?

u nvr talk to me clearly bout "us"
until now..
i dont even know
wat the past 3 months means....

all the words u said,
all the sweet memories u given...

n in a sudden its all ended....

i cant do anything even i still care so much..
even i hav alr told u wat i wan ..
u seems to juz ignore..

anyway u r hurting me..

i juz hav to learn to use to it..
cos i hav to stay strong as usual
walk my path as usual
lean on myself..
all by myself..
i will stay strong n learn to use to the heartbroken feelings
even though is really painful which able to take my breath away ..
i will still learn..
n i will learn to wait too..
cos i really love u so much
u dont know...
u thought that i able to stop now
but u r wrong ..
cos u dunno how much i love you..

J,
u dint even giv me the last chance to kiss and hold ur hand...

juz wan u to knw

If one day,
I gone..
pls remember,

the one i most syg is u J.
u knw i would do anythin juz for u.
i wont hurt u.
i knw i always said something make u pissed off
but trust me, i dont mean it.
u knw im kind of ppl who like joking.

im so sorry im not good in communicating
thats y i hurt u whenever i talk.

u knw i would like to share my everything wit u
my life, my happiness, my $, my health...
everythin u need.

but y u juz dont understand,
i love u so much, i syg u so much ..
do u really think that i will really mean those hurt words i said?
i wont.. cos to u everythin will be ok, no problem...

i wont get mad at u.
cos i love u J .
if i love u but i get mad at u ..
u knw that is contradiction.
n i wont do that n it wont happen..
how can i get mad at u when i so love u.

if really 1 day anyting happen to me..
i juz wan u to knw.
the best things i ever have, is the time i spend wit u .
no matter while u r angry wit me, laugh, pissed..
i still thank god i got the chance to c all that..

if one day i really gone..
i hope u found tis post.
i juz wan to let u knw.
u r the one i love the most.
n i really wanted so much to wait u 4ever,
n be by ur side no matter wat.

if there is next life..
i will no regret to stay to meet u again..
i hope dat time
i able to giv u happiness,
a complete family,
everythin i can give...

i really mean it...