will not marry

you will never understand 

WHY

I will not get marry

你永远不会明白，为什么我

不结婚

it's end

So without any discussion,
without any inform...
our ambiguous relationship comes to the end...

it's change within 2 and a half day..
which is sudden.. i got no notice at all

v no more holding hands,
no more kissing,
no more texting like last time..
words from ur mouth different..

i can feel u still care abit bout me..
but u try so hard to hold urself back

so is tis wat both of us wan ?
or is tis wat u wan ?

u nvr talk to me clearly bout "us"
until now..
i dont even know
wat the past 3 months means....

all the words u said,
all the sweet memories u given...

n in a sudden its all ended....

i cant do anything even i still care so much..
even i hav alr told u wat i wan ..
u seems to juz ignore..

anyway u r hurting me..

i juz hav to learn to use to it..
cos i hav to stay strong as usual
walk my path as usual
lean on myself..
all by myself..
i will stay strong n learn to use to the heartbroken feelings
even though is really painful which able to take my breath away ..
i will still learn..
n i will learn to wait too..
cos i really love u so much
u dont know...
u thought that i able to stop now
but u r wrong ..
cos u dunno how much i love you..

J,
u dint even giv me the last chance to kiss and hold ur hand...

juz wan u to knw

If one day,
I gone..
pls remember,

the one i most syg is u J.
u knw i would do anythin juz for u.
i wont hurt u.
i knw i always said something make u pissed off
but trust me, i dont mean it.
u knw im kind of ppl who like joking.

im so sorry im not good in communicating
thats y i hurt u whenever i talk.

u knw i would like to share my everything wit u
my life, my happiness, my $, my health...
everythin u need.

but y u juz dont understand,
i love u so much, i syg u so much ..
do u really think that i will really mean those hurt words i said?
i wont.. cos to u everythin will be ok, no problem...

i wont get mad at u.
cos i love u J .
if i love u but i get mad at u ..
u knw that is contradiction.
n i wont do that n it wont happen..
how can i get mad at u when i so love u.

if really 1 day anyting happen to me..
i juz wan u to knw.
the best things i ever have, is the time i spend wit u .
no matter while u r angry wit me, laugh, pissed..
i still thank god i got the chance to c all that..

if one day i really gone..
i hope u found tis post.
i juz wan to let u knw.
u r the one i love the most.
n i really wanted so much to wait u 4ever,
n be by ur side no matter wat.

if there is next life..
i will no regret to stay to meet u again..
i hope dat time
i able to giv u happiness,
a complete family,
everythin i can give...

i really mean it...

人生迷了路

我...又来了,

走了一段路

发现自己迷了路

停下疑问自己

方向在何处

心中那把尺

还直不直

尺寸有无模糊?

兜兜转转了一年半

知不知道自己想怎样?

如果我明了

何必又在缠?

时间总不让步

我只能加快脚步

就算走的是冤路

只怪自己不懂路

前途哪看得清楚

年纪还轻过度

只知道忙碌

才能让自己假装懂路

忙碌过后

又再停下脚步

直到何年何月

我才能看得清楚

这是不是我要的路?

放下脚步

就好像不停退步

加快脚步

就像胡乱踏步

不前不后

不左不右

终点在何处

从来没有在地图

如果我懂自己走的路

何必总不停原地踏步?

谁能比我更清楚我?

如果我连自己都不懂自己

我只需要一个活生生的指南针

告诉我，一切值得

就算开始踏错步

也可以走得很不俗

HML-hate my life

not updating my blog for so long.

hmm..

im juz too busy on rushing my assignment

everything due tis week 

n some of it next week

not only that, 

my final start next friday

and we have no study week

WUHOO!

die.

8 subjects no study week

n we have to deal with all this assignment 

before our final.

cool taylors.

u r the best uni ..o0o

not only that 

i heard in class 2day 

we have to pay RM1500 for internship fees

harlo, we go out intern, 

u juz provide us few piece of paper

y the hell u wan charge us 1500?

fck u .. 

sucks uni

คุณเคยรักฉันจริงๆ

คุณเคยรักฉันจริงๆ

 I love this song very much..

So touching 

& the important things is..

although i dont understand..

but i can feel it..

Have you ever really loved me by Zee

Is a very down night ..

things happened around..

ppl around...are all depress and sad.

So do i..

Over stressed by assignment..

OopsS. 

sorry, the old me has back...

frens are cutting off their hair..

and tis make me feel like cutting it too

if i cut..

tis time will b damn short one i tell u ...

a little bit of time

finally i hav a little bit of time to breath

to feel the air..

and next 

things brought me down

Lecturer asking for something impossible..

a trip stressed me..

ya.

bcos if u fail to complete u hav to pay

RM500+

imagine how my dad will kill me?

in pieces.

Sigh bout all of the things

The picture in my head was this :

but wat i get at the end ?

i dont really know.

somehow the only things i wan to say is.

Taylor's U sucks.

a little bit of time

whn i hav the time

things keep pop up in my mind

juz something make me sad.

Mainly, tis time the mood was really brought down by the trip

is somethin really unreasonable 

force by lecturer. but v cant force customer

somethin stuck in middle n v hav to take it. Juz like dat.

who cares u die at the end? 

i dunno wat to aim in my life.

juz lost in sudden.

thought being a human

being a student

pass through all the tasks dat given by god n the lecturer

so now $ is the prob i hav to pass through ?

wats $ really mean to tis world ?

the truth.