Sanctuary

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as "rootless and stemless." We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped, nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is [whole] as it is (Gallwey 1974).

Getting Ready: The Physical Preparation

The mind and body are connected. If you want to feel your best mentally, take good care of your body. This only stands to reason. So often people who feel stressed, fatigued, and mentally "down" are under-exercised, undernourished, and under-rested. Often, they assume that tending the body takes too much time or is too difficult. So they hope for quick fix that allows them to ignore their basic physical needs, while their mental health and performance suffer. The point is important enough to restate: You can't ignore your body and expect to feel good. Time invested in physical health is a wise investment indeed. It saves time by sharpening your performance. More importantly, it improves mental health.

The object of this chapter is to help you set up and execute a simple, written plan for optimal physical health in three areas: aerobic exercise, sleep hygiene, and eating practices.

Aerobic Exercise

Exercise improves self-esteem (Sonstroem 1984) and general mental health (Morgan 1984). Exercise is also the treatment of choice for weight management and sleep improvement. The goal here is at last thirty minutes of aerobic exercise most days. Strength and flexibility training are very useful and confer additional benefits. If time permits, you can add these to your program. If not, or if adding these appears overwhelming, then be content with aerobic exercise. Aerobic exercise is continuous, rhythmic exercise that keeps the heart rate gently elevated. Aerobic exercise includes walking, biking, rowing, swimming, stair stepping, and jogging. The best exercise choice is probably the one you enjoy doing most. Moderate, regular exercise is the goal.

Walking daily for thirty minutes can be quite effective for losing weight and for stress management. Adding strength training also helps lose fat because muscles burn energy rapidly. However, don't be overwhelmed. Any amount of exercise is better than none. Even a ten-minutes "energy walk," an exercise break from sitting at the desk, has been found to increase energy and lift the mood (Thayer 1989).

Start your exercise gently, and build up gradually. You are not in a competition with anyone. Exercise should leave you feeling refreshed and energized. It should not hurt or exhaust you beyond a pleasant fatigue. If you can eventually work up to thirty minutes or more on most days, great. If not, do what you can to start. Do make a plan for regular, moderate exercise. If you have trouble falling asleep, try exercising before dinner, or earlier. Consult your physician if you are over forty years old, if you have any known risk factors for cardiovascular disease, and/or if you have any concerns about starting an exercise program.

How fortunate is the person with self-esteem. There is a general agreement that self-esteem is central to good mental and physical health, while self-dislike degrades health and performance. Self-dislike appears to contribute to:

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Stress symptoms

* Psychosomatic illness, like headaches, insomnia, fatigue, and digestive tract upset

* Hostility, excessive or deep-seated anger, dislike and distrust of others, competitiveness

* Spouse and child abuse

* Entering into abusive/unhappy relationships

* Alcohol and drug abuse

* Eating disorders and unhealthy dieting

* Poor communication (e.g., non-assertive, aggressive, defensive, critical, or sarcastic styles)

* Promiscuity

* Dependency

* Sensitivity to criticism

* Tendency to put on a false front to impress others

* Social difficulties - withdrawal, loneliness

* Poor performance/classroom achievement

* Preoccupation with problems

* Status concern

No wonder self-dislike is called the invisible handicap. Conversely, self-esteem is highly correlated to overall life satisfaction. In a 1992 Gallup survey, 89 percent of respondents said that self-esteem is very important in motivating a person to work hard and succeed. Self-esteem was ranked higher as a motivator than any other variable. It is not surprising, therefore, that those with self-esteem are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors. Those with self-esteem tend to be friendlier, more expressive, more active, more self-trusting and trusting of others, and less troubled by inner problems and criticism (Coopersmith 1967). When mental disorders do strike, those with self-esteem tend to respond better to professional help, while recovering alcoholics with self-esteem are less likely to relapse (Mecca, Smelser, and Vasconcellos 1989). Indeed, one searches the literature in vain to find a disadvantage of having self-esteem. Thus, an assumption is that self-esteem not only helps reduce undesired stress and illness symptoms, but also is an essential foundation for human growth.

Despite the importance of self-esteem, surprisingly little attention has been focused on building it directly rather than indirectly. For example, an oft-stated aim of psychotherapy is to build self-esteem. However, the assumption that reducing illness symptoms will indirectly build self-esteem is unsupported. Lacking a comprehensive approach, some well-intending individuals have prescribed quick fixes based on unsound principles, which can actually damage self-esteem in the long run.

These entries will provide a step-by-step plan based on sound principles to help you build a healthy, realistic, and generally stable self-esteem. The approach requires that the skills herein be applied and practiced. Merely having knowledge is not enough. Each self-esteem skill is based on mastery of the skills that precede it. As Abraham Maslow noted, developing self-esteem requires many and major impacts (Lowry 1973). Therefore, resist the tendency to read through these quickly. Instead, commit now to applying and mastering each skill before moving on to try the next one.