starandrea | Recent Entries

Happy birthday

marcicat!!!!!!!! You are my favorite person in the world and I hope you have the best and sparkliest year yet ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I was trying to think of a fic rec I don't know for sure you've already read, and it was not easy! I have likely not succeeded, but I thought the excerpt was funny enough to be worth it regardless.

♥ Pre-Existing Condition, by Helenish

“Isn’t this fraud?” Matt says. He’s inspecting the card again, who knows what’s so interesting about it, just John’s name at the top next to SUBSCRIBER NAME: and then a neat row of lines at the bottom under DEPENDENTS: SPOUSE Farrell M; CHILD McLane L; CHILD McLane J.

“Oh, right, I forgot what a law-abiding citizen you were,“ John begins, “You can do whatever you want because you’re a fucking anarchist—“

“—Democrat, but okay—“

“but god forbid I should ever—“ the argument clicking along down the old familiar track—except Matt laughs.

“Fine, man, you got me. I only have one leg. What do you want for dinner?”

Speaking of AI, I just gave google translate an image description to spellcheck, and it added a definition of "guqin" to the English translation of my Chinese alt/title text.

Original Chinese: 一个非乐高积木的瀑布，旁边有魏无羡迷你任务和蓝忘机站在一起。魏无羡有他的笛子，蓝忘机有他个古琴。

Google Translate's English: A waterfall made of non-Lego bricks, with mini-figures of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji standing next to it. Wei Wuxian has his flute, and Lan Wangji has his guqin (a Chinese zither).

I deleted "guqin" to see what would happen and no lie, google translate added "(the sentence ends abruptly)".

(Will it be years or months, I wonder, before this post will sound hilariously dated?)

(...Or weeks?)

Our work computers periodically become outdated and are replaced, which is greatly appreciated and less disruptive with every iteration, as cloud backups and connectivity proliferate. In the spring of 2020, I went home with two six-year-old laptops.

(In defense of my department, they had been encouraging me to upgrade for at least a year, and I resisted because the technology worked fine. I didn't see a need for new if old was doing the job.)

By fall one computer was no longer compatible with company security, and IT sent me a new one that combined everything I needed from both old computers. But we were in the process of moving from one campus to another (a process hugely extended by the pandemic) so the old computers went nowhere.

My point is that when IT upgraded my computer again this week, and they invited me (now a remote worker) to campus to pick up the new one, I brought them three old ones in trade and a whole lot of memories.

Even after my previous department became remote in 2020, we were required to attend a variety of in-person events from client meetings to company all-staffs. In the depths of my three laptop bags I found parking receipts, boarding passes, Chinese readers and snacks, along with masks - so many masks - hand sanitizer, and a note from a deceased coworker about the name of one of my laptops.

It's hard to believe it's been six years. It's also strange to me personally that the time between going home and starting my current job - four entire years - has largely disappeared from daily recall. I remember working with my previous department, on-site, for 18 years. And I remember working with my current department, remotely, for the last two.

Everything in between: the years between 2020 to 2024, from going remote to moving house to saying goodbye to Mimi, all still exists in my memory, but it's largely unmoored from the rest of the timeline. It's neither "now" nor "then," but some secret third option that my brain initially skips over when looking back, somehow assigning those years to a parallel life track rather than a sequential one.

I wonder if it will settle into place as life goes on, if life goes on (thanks body, I appreciate you), or if it will remain disconnected, like the semester I spent teaching at a residential school during the fall of 2001.

Memory is so interesting. I try to let experiences change me in the moment as much as possible and desirable, so I get more out of them than thinking of (or forgetting) them later.

And being kind, of course. The most important connection to any experience.

“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

~Etienne de Grellet,
Quaker missionary

My workplace requires the use of LLM as AI, so I pay particular attention to how it comes up in my hobbies. Every day is a chance to learn more than I knew before.

Will AI replace Chinese teachers | Chinese podcast #184, by Dashu Mandarin 大叔中文

Ben: I don't think I'll be replaced by AI; I'll be replaced by someone who knows how to use AI.
Richard: You'll be replaced by PeiPei.
PeiPei: Follow me!
Richard: If you can't beat them, join them, right?

Ben: 我是觉得呃我不会被AI取代但是我会被会AI的。
Richard: 你会被珮珮取代。
PeiPei: 跟着我干吧！
Richard: 对打不过就加入是吧？

LLM as AI is everywhere in the language-learning space, from chatbot "tutors" to my favorite prompt: "Tell me about this story in another language." So I'm learning, as they say, through immersion.

Here's what NotebookLM produced when I asked for its basic "deep dive" on "The Untamed," using only the episode transcripts as a source. It makes mistakes, but I was particularly interested in what it identified as important and why.

Also, it was unexpectedly funny.

(This is actually a Turboscribe transcript of the podcast NotebookLM produced; I've labeled the speakers "Host 1" and "Host 2.")

( notebooklm analyzes the Untamed scripts: reputation vs reality )

I started learning Chinese in the Arisia registration line seven years ago this weekend. I gave myself five years to figure out how hard it would be, and another five to be able to use it. By the end of this year, I'll be more than halfway through the second five years.

I'm pretty sure I'll spend the rest of my life learning Chinese. It's more than a language to me; it's a fundamentally different way of looking at the universe. At the end of the day we're all more alike than different, and I care a lot about the stories we tell. Language is a filter and a tool that lets us share each other's perspectives.

Chinese storytelling is different from English storytelling in part because it's based on different assumptions about why we're here, where "here" even is, what happens before and after this life, and who and what we share it with.

Experiencing this is like sneaking a whole second life into my time here on Earth. So efficient. So exciting.

In conclusion,
♥ Today is "one day," and there's no guarantee of another one like it.

♥ Do what you want to get good at: it's the best practice and great motivation. Plus you get to do the thing, why wait?

♥ As Marci says, "five years" is going to pass anyway. Let's make them interesting.

( notes from Arisia 2019: 'writing outside your comfort zone' )

Wishing you and yours a peaceful season and a lovely holiday ♥

"put a little holiday in your heart
it'll put a little shuffle in your step
give you a song that you can sing
with a melody you can't forget

and if you want to join in a little harmony
to keep the world from tearing apart
you know where to look
you gotta put a little holiday in your heart"

--leann rimes

Happy Solstice!

This sure has been a year. I adopted two new gardens, finished

inkingitout and novel-writing month, and bought both a car and a dog sled.

The dog sled is a kit that's supposed to double as a kicksled; it should arrive in a couple of weeks. (Daphne will not be pulling it. If I'm lucky she'll ride for a bit.) I just learned about kicksledding ::checks:: yesterday, so. As per usual.

Relatedly, I heard the following fun bilingualism today:

“我已经try very hard to 给我自己花钱。” ("I already try very hard to spend money on myself.")

Currently in legos I'm building a waterfall, which the box tells me will light up and move when I'm done. Despite my decades of STEM employment, my engineering experience is largely limited to assembling furniture and garden equipment. I suppose success or failure will determine whether this part of the jianghu becomes Cloud Recesses or Lotus Pier.

I found the velociraptors, by the way. And the dolphins! The dolphins are now frolicking at the foot of Baoshan Sanren's mountain. (I've already forgotten what I did with the velociraptors. They might be in the garden.) (ETA: They are in the chicken coop.)

The sky was very beautiful today.

( pictures of solstice sunup and sundown )

Yesterday Daphne participated in her first 5k! I've taken her to races before but yesterday was the first time we did a course with hundreds of other people and dogs. She was great.

Then there was gardening, Thanksgiving lite, napping, and Legos ♥

I finished building the Yiling Wen settlement last night, did my Black Friday shopping for me, and have enough groceries to last through the weekend. Which means it's time for

The Super Special 10k Catch Up Or Else Writing Marathon Event Of The Year

I'll be here all day.

Remember last month when I said I bought a lego tree for the dollhouse? I had so much fun building it, now I'm planning a lego dollhouse for my tree. I've devoted maybe two whole nights of research to this plan and I've already had to increase the planned surface area significantly.

From time to time I remember the lego jianghu in my mind still only consists of one tree. Then I laugh and go, "Yeah, but it's me." Remember when I used to be into legos? Neither do I because it's never happened, except that one time I spent two months collecting X-Men minifigures.

I did a journal search for "legos" to see if I could find a picture, since who knows where those minifigures are now (probably in a box under my desk with Jungle Fury DVDs, paper pocket dictionaries, and old check registers). And that journal search was basically a con tour from Vancouver to San Diego to Orlando, which I did not see coming at all, but according to me I also own lego dolphins.

I remembered the velociraptors when I saw them, but why did I have dolphins? Do I still have dolphins? I may have to look under my desk after all.

♥ ~~2300~~ ~~596~~ 0 words to the halfway point of my novel, days to the halfway point of the month: ~~.44~~ ~~.33~~ .02

♥ my fox diamond painting is also approaching the halfway point, but I've been working on it since August; like life and language an exercise in process over progress

♥ plants rescued from the discard pile = 8, number of rescued plants that are likely to survive the winter = 0, however = science

♥ fall decorations deployed
wreaths: 2
garlands: 4
gourds: 13

♥ winter decorations on standby
trees: 3
lights: 5
garlands: 7

Today's cute bilingualisms:

Planters still on the porch: 7 3 0 (planters moved from porch to patio... 3)
Vacuuming to do: ~~all of it~~

Current favorite bilingualisms:

Days behind on noveling: 2 1 0, ~~not~~ counting today *\o/*
Bulbs still to plant: ~~all of them~~ ~~210~~ 0 *\o/*

Neighbor: I guess it's time to put the gardens to bed for the winter.

Geraniums being hustled in: 6
Dahlias curing in utility room: 9
Canna lilies to lift, clean, and dry: 32
Spring bulbs just arrived from Brent & Becky's: 410

Me: ...yeah, I guess.

( can't relate )

Last year a kind neighbor gave me an orchid when Mimi died. "So you'll think of her every time it blooms," she said. I am not an orchid whisperer, and although I was very touched and tremendously appreciative, I was not optimistic.

Yet lo, the miracle orchid has bloomed again ♥.♥

Oh, friends, what a month. We are all doing such a good job; kudos to us. Consider collecting a beverage of your choice while I do not try to tell a tale.

Instead:
♥ November noveling month is coming; it's year 3 of 50k in Chinese.
♥ Daphne and I got to see the weir being taken down this fall. Neat.
♥ And the wind and waves of an early nor'easter blowing in on the beach.
♥ Marci and I enjoyed an autumn craft fair with lots of crochet and cider donuts.
♥ Next is a Halloween race by the bay; matching sweatshirts may be involved.

The world is an amazing place.

Quarterly update to check in on my year goals while there's still time to achieve them:
1)

inkingitout morning pages goal going well
2)

inkingitout story goal intermittent but reachable*
3) reading goal faltered a bit over the summer
4) gave up on

chinesestudy early I see
5) restarted and re-stopped

fandom50challenge
6) finished black dragon diamond painting & started seasonal fox
7) gardens went significantly better than expected

*my plan for the rest of the year is 5% Tron: Ares fic and 95% seasonal Mo Dao Zu Shi fluff

I got a lego tree for the dollhouse; I should build that. Loved doing the poster art for

battleshipex. Very happy to have recorded more speaking during

communal_creators.

Got a shirt that says "love everyone" and every time I wear it I am reminded to act more the way I want to be.

(Thus I went with "fake it til you make it" as the subject, but "just because you can't do everything doesn't mean you can't do anything" was a close second.)

Happy October!

Recently I learned:
1) Tinnitus can sound like music.
2) Enzyme cleaners are great at unclogging pipes.
3) Less authentic mooncakes may be more delicious.
4) Some very dramatic plants think 50F is a killing frost.

Also, you can explain to your dog that you will always provide her with more food, you can show her all the food you have which is more than any three dogs could possibly need, and she will still ask for 100 dreambones so she can hide 50 of them for the hard times, and you will find them in places you never knew she'd been, usually still clean-ish and not gross but NOT ALWAYS.

On the plus side, when you ignore the lose bolt in her dog stroller too long and it falls out, never to be seen again, the internet can actually teach you enough about nuts and bolts that you can order a correctly sized replacement online, without having to interact with a single human being while still benefiting from humanity's collective wisdom and ingenuity.

I was cleaning yesterday: not the light garden, which I cleaned last week because plants were knocking on the door at the end of September this year, but all around the light garden because sometimes I worry that my laissez-faire attitude toward cleaning will result in a dust dragon, which sounds so much cooler than what I imagine I will find when I pick up all the blankets lying on the floor. (Dreambones, mostly.) There were no dragons, and the dreambones have been thrown away.

My point is, why do I worry so much? ("It's people like you who survive disasters," someone once told me. But waiting to survive a disaster doesn't seem like the most fulfilling use of my life on Earth.)

I have a Chinese journal now; it's mostly private because I'm using it for

inkingitout this year, but I'm also using it publicly for all the other challenges I've mentioned, and when I'm not tending the plants for hours I collect pictures from my or other local gardens, along with occasional fic recs or notes on the Untamed.

Welcome to follow or not as you wish: this isn't an advertisement, just a PSA given that some of us are in the same communities, and I'm not a big talker but I get that there's no reason to expect

xinger ("star") and

starandrea are the same person. They are.

In conclusion:
5) Last year's dahlias were yellow; why are they all red now?
6) A single vine can grow so many different kinds of gourds.
7) Glow in the dark bracelets light up night corn mazes.
8) Pledge of the Peony ftw.

In times like these it feels important to be visible when spoons and safety allow, so I just wanted to say: you are loved, and we're here for you. You're in this world to be exactly who you are.

In the immortal words of a fellow teacher explaining the plan for getting three different field trip groups along multiple walking routes to the same destination at the same time (cartoon maps and faux football play diagrams were involved), when responding to the following question:

"What do we do if it rains?"
"...If it rains, we go out and we fight. We fight and we fight and we win."

Relatedly, in the way that all things are, I'm enjoying

communal_creators right now. I joined, as with

battleshipex, because Marci did. And as with

battleshipex, it has done great things for my creative output and self-expression. (Along with drabble community

chenqing_100, a serene place that inspires me to contemplate the drabble-esque qualities of classical Chinese.)

Autumn arrives as well, and with it, the soft opening of my indoor light garden. Every single one of my high intensity lights from Gardeners' Supply is going strong, but none of my low-intensity lights from Amazon has lasted more than two seasons. On a quest, then, to find new gentle lights for my less sun-hungry plants, I tried the Gardeners' Supply light guide (illustrated) and laughed at the following multiple choice question:

"What kind of gardener are you?"
1) Tabletop: "I just want to keep my African violets happy."
2) Floor Plant Fanatic: "I've got a few monster-sized Monsteras and fiddle-leaf figs to tend to."
3) Plant Parenting Pro: "I'm growing light-loving houseplants of all sizes, including an orchid, several succulents, and a sago palm."

Option 3 may not quite cover it, but that's as high as the scale goes and I embrace it.

♥ From Now on I’m Taking All of My Storytelling Lessons From This Wild Epic About Love, Loyalty, and Necromancy

"It’s a bit strange, I think, how little writing advice is about feelings. There is abundant writing advice about everything else—from saving the cat to killing our darlings, to never/always using 'said,' writing what we know, info-dumping and more—but not a whole lot specifically focused on the fundamental question that faces every writer when we sit down to write: How do we make people care?

"...Being a professional author as well as a former scientist, I have chosen to approach this problem in the most rational and scholarly manner possible, which is why I have watched a shit-ton of gay fantasy Chinese television drama and will now tell you all about it."
--Kalli Wallace, author

"I absolutely love this article! As a developmental editor in the 'story structure' space, I’ve learned and am now unlearning the so-called rules of story that never look outside the western (and often just the US) canon."
--Anne Elizabeth Hawley, commenter

♥ Script Change: The Writers Trading Movie Dreams for Bite-Size Dramas
by Sun Yiyang and Zhang Lingyu; translated, edited, and republished with permission by Sixth Tone

"I long ago let go of the intellectual arrogance that came with my formal training. Shifting my mindset has brought unexpected rewards: improved cross-cultural communication, deeper language fluency, and opportunities to inject even the most conventional plots with subtle innovation."
--Wu Yue, as told to reporters Sun Yiyang and Zhang Lingyu

"...I believe the essential first step is to set aside our preconceptions. If creators lose that human connection, if we stop caring about the people we’re writing for, our work loses its soul."
--Wu Yue

"I still remember, back in film school, how often I complained to my professor about assignments and the state of the industry — that familiar blend of love and frustration so intrinsic to the writer’s life. What he said has stayed with me: 'Real passion isn’t about constantly declaring, "I love this more than anything." It’s when you’re completely exhausted by it — maybe even hate it a little — and you still choose to continue.'"
--Yu Jie

Me, yesterday: Did I get a new car because my old one failed inspection, or because I needed more room for plants?

My neighbor, today: This is your fault, you know.

*My new car is only nine years old, which is the newest car I've ever had. When I bought it someone asked how long I planned to keep it, and I stared at them in confusion. "Until it can't be fixed anymore," I said.

PS, the cannas are blooming and the dahlias are as tall as I am. Today I set up an auxiliary trellis so our passionflower vines would have more room to climb. They are v adventurous.

Quarterly update!

I've started learning Cantonese, and it's approximately one hundred times easier than Mandarin (because I already know Mandarin; other language learners say learning Mandarin after Cantonese is comparable). It feels more like continuing than starting over.

Last week I reached 100 works on my Chinese AO3 account (none in Cantonese yet), a bit more than 100k words total, which tells you about how long they are. My English account has 248 works, and that's more than 6 million words.

English DW: 8779 entries
Chinese DW: 358 entries

♥ good books
Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment, by George Leonard
This book is about how important the time between climactic moments is, or for language learners (it's not about language learning, but it was recommended in one of my language learning groups): why "the intermediate plateau" is life and we should learn to love it.

Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, by Oliver Burkeman
This book is about why we don't have to respond to every demand for our attention in order to be a good person, and that knowing how to set a burden down is as important as knowing how to carry it. This was a spontaneous pick, and I expect to reread.

♥ good show
Murderbot, on Apple TV+
The Murderbot Diaries book series by Martha Wells is just as good, arguably better as there's more of it, and available in Chinese translation. Also as an audiobook read by Kevin R. Free in English, who is a perfect SecUnit narrator, and by an enthusiastic AI in Chinese, which is very funny.

♥ great pet accessory
Cooling blanket!!! Daphne says it's her favorite new toy in at least a day, and I'm glad I got the biggest one so we can both use it at the same time.

♥ new in the gardens
6 lupins, 5 roses, 4 weigela, some ferns and hostas and irises from friends and neighbors and the compost pile, a plethora of plant sale finds including more colors of bee balm than I knew existed (I thought it was red or pink but apparently there's also purple and allegedly "rose" which is... what color is that? I will find out if it lives long and strong enough to blossom). Poppies and sage and forget-me-nots, some Solomon's seal and geraniums and even pansies for community reasons.

For future reference, overwintering spring bulbs in garage planters did not work well, but moving overwintered canna and dahlia rhizomes from boxes by the front door to half-full pots in the garage during the early spring did work, somewhat to my surprise. Some had roots by the time I put them in the ground and some did not, but none sprouted early (at least none continued sprouting after being moved to the garage), and so far an intimidating number of them are up and swinging.

♥ new in the dollhouses
I used a chibi metal bookmark to make a couples' portrait for the music room, and then I found some lotus coasters I bought in Vermont last year during the eclipse and set up one as a backdrop for the flute/stand. Dragon earrings as wall-hangings are not as cool as I expected, but scrapbook quotes about the moon and stars as wallpaper make up the difference.

What else do I usually post about? Let's see... dog, writing, dollhouse, garden, language.

I guess that's it! In the world of challenges I'm enjoying

chenqing_100 and

fandom_empire, and looking forward to

battleshipex. In the world of sports the dog has joined me and Marci for some paddling and I think this might be the year she learns to swim. (Not really, but she fell in for the 4.5th time and for the first time did not freak out, so that's progress.)

And now, the weather.

虫洞的彼岸有这么一个地方，一个只有恋人才知道的地方
勇敢的、充满希望的、迷失的、忠诚的、也许就是我和你
你是否愿意和这些傻傻的梦想家一起来
我们称之为家园的星球希望能很快见到你
就在庇护月卫

"There's a place beyond the wormhole, a place that only lovers know
The brave, the hopeful, the lost, the true, maybe me and you
Won't you come with these fools and dreamers
To the planet we call home
We hope we'll see you soon on Sanctuary Moon"

Style Credit

Base style: Heads Up by momijizuakmori
Theme: A Brighter View by zaluzianskya and skylark_photos

Stars' Landing

"no mud, no lotus"

Recent Entries

8 for good luck

"what you should have learned about life by age 75: 'it's amazing, the things they can do'"

"in a world where you can be anything, be kind"

AI时代 | age of AI

reputation vs reality (but not as it applies to the grandmaster of demonic cultivation)

"come on sunshine, what can you show me, where can you take me to make me understand" (g. lightfoot)

"hold my hand, we'll push that cloud away" (leann rimes)

"they opened up their eyes and saw the sun coming out" (antje duvekot)

"it's a mixture of relief, perseverance and caffeine" (the nanowrimo song)

new hobby energy (they're your indoor garden, marci says)

"it doesn't get easier, you just get stronger"

"it's only a mountain, it ain't hard if you don't stop" (dierks bentley)

"even though I had my doubts, I told myself don't look down" (dierks bentley)

"life is short, make it sweet" (old dominion)

"fake it til you make it"

"really and truly, it's just you and more you." (notes from the universe)

"older but no more the wise, we've learned the art of compromise" (suzy bogguss)

culturally relevant story telling, the myth of the monomyth (margin notes, not a description)

"we'll never be as young as we are right now"

"life's too short and time is flying, I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine" (mimi, rent)

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